Sigourney Weaver just won't stop teasing potential Alien sequel. [MTV]

A few months ago, Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter announced that he planned to dial down the magazine's legendarily lavish, celeb-studded Oscar party for 2009. "The party will be a much more intimate affair than in years past; we're going to scale back the guest list considerably," Carter proclaimed, adding that it would be "a cozier, more understated event," and would have "familiar decor," since the magazine would be "recycling" many of the "elements of years past." Carter was certainly communicating the right message given the gloomy economy. But we hear Graydon's claims of recessionary modesty have been greatly exaggerated.

You never know with Craigslist ads; the good offers are fake, and the outrageous ones are often real. It's not really unthinkable that an ad person would straightforwardly ask for a slutty personal assistant, right?

· And failing that, Esquire's got a few do's and dont's for you as well.

A trustee overseeing the dissolution of Bernie Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme says the former Wall Street statesman, a pioneer of computerized trading, apparently hadn't purchased securities for customers in 13 years.

Few outlets have done as comprehensive a job at Twilight pandering as MTV, and Summit has finally taken time out of its busy schedule of being fellated by EW to throw them a bone.

In your downward Friday media column: rumored layoffs at Playboy and Hearst, two-paper towns are dying, your favorite crappy TV channels revealed, and more!

Rachel Bilson shopping on the Lower East Side ... Kate Beckinsale talking to David Spade outside her hotel ... Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen shopping at Barneys ... Katie Holmes carrying coffee on a walk downtown ... William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman walking on Madison after leaving lunch at Nello's ... Kirsten Dunst hailing a cab ... Justin Timberlake leaving an office building ... Nicole Richie carrying her baby Harlow around Chelsea Piers ... Claire Danes holding hands with Selma Blair on Bank Street ... Agyness Deyn walking with a friend downtown ... Angelina Jolie waving to photographers outside an apartment building ... Paris Hilton going to dinner at La Esquina ... and Ally and Tommy Hilfiger leaving the Waverly Inn.

We've seen the official trailer for Inglourious Basterds—a film that takes that incredibly satisfying face-melting scene from the end of Raiders and supersizes it to two blood-drenched, Nazi-mutilating hours—and now we present the posters.

The Project Runway collections tromped down the Fashion Week runways this morning, indicating that production is still chugging along, despite the legal troubles surrounding it. But what does that mean for the show's future?

Ah, California, that prodigious producer of fruits, nuts, and flakes. Alice Waters, the famous Chez Panisse chef, has seized on the national craze for bailouts to demand organic, unprocessed school lunches for all.

Olivia Palermo turned up a few minutes late to the Mulberry show at Soho House the other day and missed the first few minutes of the presentation. But the company quickly came up with a solution! "The young star was able to get her own private viewing of the new collection. According to an insider, 'she was so gracious and happy that she could catch the full show.'" We never thought we'd see Palermo's name in such close proximity to the words "gracious" and "happy," but there's a first for everything. [InTouch]

Though the new season of Project Runway hasn't aired yet (thanks, Weinsteins!), the show was forced to present its mysterious final collections today at Fashion Week, regardless. What kind of catchphrase-spouting designers should we expect?

Kim Ledger had plenty to do yesterday on his long flight to the Oscars, starting with an acceptance speech no one quite expected him to deliver on behalf of his son Heath.

[Host Heidi Klum at the "Project Runway" Fashion Week show today (pictures of the clothes coming later, hopefully); image via Getty]

After last night's clash with cops, a hardcore band of dead-enders continued to occupy the NYU student center food court, for Democracy. But it sounds like it's game over now people. The Man wins!

Will Facebook give us cancer? Not if we browse it on an iPhone in the park! Such is the pseudoscience of health and the Internet.

As the final grains run through the Oscars Hourglass installed outside the Kodak (we love the addition of a bored-looking model sunbathing inside the top half), Mickey Rourke busily readies himself for the big night.

• Project Runway filmed its season finale under the tent in Bryant Park today. When—and if—you'll ever get to see it remains up in the air. [NYT]
• It's predicted the broadcast of the Academy Awards on Sunday will be among the lowest-rated Oscars on record. [AdAge]
• The Post has apologized for its chimp cartoon the other day. [E&P]
• The New York Times Co. has slashed its dividend to zero. [NYP]
• New York and AMI are joining Hachette Filipacchi and dropping out of the Magazine Publishers of America. [NYP]

"For me to have an iPhone in one hand and a pipe in the other is not unusual," says a 20-something at the vanguard of the crazy new trend, (reaching in grab bag)...kids with pipes!