Last week's assault on cellphone-chatting drivers turned out to be a nice fundraiser for the city: The 7,500 tickets issued during the 24-hour crackdown pumped $975,000 into city coffers. [NYP]

"Find A Mag Job When The Economy is Crap." How? Start teaching a class called "Find A Mag Job When The Economy is Crap," like Ed2010 founder Chandra Czape Turner. Cost of class: $150. Actual value of class: $0.

The city's Department of Education wants kids to eat healthier meals. As part of her Yum-o! foundation, Rachael Ray has been looking for ways to "give back." Yesterday the two came together when Ray appeared at a press conference at PS 89 in Tribeca to unveil the "sizzling soft tacos" that the school system is force-feeding to some 600,000 kids this week. Unfortunately, however, the PR spectacle didn't go off as planned.

Just another thirty feet across, and it would have been a weapon of mass destruction, that petit meteor that recently exploded in the skies above Indonesia. This is why Barack Obama must build us a force field, against heavenly apocalypse.

The fiendish "government" is trying to ban clove cigarettes. So Big Clove has invented a novel way to fight back: Getting a court to declare that their clove cigarettes are not, in fact, cigarettes. Dude. Come on. Just declare it.

We warned you against those played-out costumes. Why not go as a NY Post reader?

First Andrew Ross Sorkin pissed off Charlie Gasparino. Now it's his colleagues: Some anonymous New York Times staffers are angry at him, Keith Kelly reports, for failing to credit the newspaper's scoops in his new book, Too Big to Fail.

Just as America settled into a laissez faire consensus on office sex, some new confessions out of Fort Letterman have appeared to remind us of why we're all against the bosses-sleeping-with-their-employees thing in the first place.

Our little Serena is finally a working girl, and she certainly looked like one last night. But the scariest thing about Halloween on the Upper East Side is it looks like S is finally gaining some power. Trick or treat!

President Obama now has a backup plan in the event he decides to kick Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to the curb. 50 Cent has graciously stepped forward and offered to help the president run the U.S. economy. If President Obama needs him, of course.

In your dark Tuesday media column: the layoff train is rollin' down the tracks that many magazines now regret installing in their offices, the San Francisco Chronicle flounders like a flounder, Wonkette hates Politico anew, and John Stossel vs. Lou Dobbs.

"Urbanwear" designer Marc Ecko has been on the brink of ruin for many months now. He had to sell off parts of his company to stay afloat, he put his ridiculously over-the-top office/gymnasium in Chelsea up for lease, and his 30,000-square-foot castle in New Jersey was hit with several liens after he had trouble coming up with the cash to finish $21 million worth of renovations. But Ecko has been tossed a life preserver. The apparel company Iconix has announced it's taking a majority stake in Ecko's company. He won't have to worry about going bust any longer, and his line of streetwear will finally be united with its spiritual cousin, Rocawear. Everyone wins! [Crain's]

Incarcerated Utahan Kari Ferrell, your Hipster Grifter, has mailed another missive to her pen pal, Bucky Turco, and, through him, to you, her fans. She'll be out of jail in a flash. Then, back to NYC, and onto (more) TV!

Tommy Davis, the latest chief spokesman and outraged-interview-cutter-offer for the Church of Scientology, is a callow Hollywood brat, Tom Cruise hanger-on, and "drug revert" who thinks "L. Ron Hubbard is the coolest guy ever."

Apple needed music publishers to make the iPod a truly massive hit. Now Apple must work with its natural enemy — the press — to do the same for its forthcoming tablet. How painful.

After much deliberation, Microsoft has decided against sponsoring the upcoming Family Guy special, 'Seth MacFarlane's Holocaust Incest Tampon Hour.' They join an illustrious list of Family Guy haters.

Many have criticized Wall Street firms for not doing more to manage risk in the lead up to the financial crisis and many have wondered just how much has changed over the past year. Let it be known that JPMorgan Chase is no longer playing by the old rules when banks were handing out loans to anyone who asked. If you're an accused murderer? Well, then, the new JPMorgan Chase wants nothing to do with you.

[Lindsay Lohan congratulates publicist Jessica Meisels on being the 9 millionth person to find the cokey actress' Blackberry, at Richard Branson's Rock the Kasbah party in L.A. last night. Image via Getty]

Bill Thompson doesn't stand much of a chance at winning next week's mayoral election. But the two will face off once again this evening for their second and final debate. (Thompson will have to deliver "the political equivalent of an Oscar-performance" if he has any hope of turning things around, says Michael Barbaro of the Times.) Don't think the mayor is coasting on his lead, or on the $85 million he's spent on his campaign thus far. He's taking tonight's debate seriously: "Mr. Bloomberg seems to be taking no chances on Tuesday: there are no events other than the debate on his schedule, allowing him to spend the day preparing for the confrontation." Either that or he's figured out that it's an excellent excuse to take the day off and chill out at home, which it is. [NYT]

Cindy Adams says that guests at the Jared Kushner-Ivanka Trump wedding received a "pair of small white flip-flops with the tag: 'Ivanka and Jared — what a pair.'" Fine. But what about information on valuable real estate investment opportunities?