America’s favorite accused serial killer stars in a new short film: surveillance footage from a Houston CVS in which Durst can be seen urinating on candy at the checkout.

Salman Khan, one of the biggest movie stars in India, was convicted this week of killing one homeless man and injuring four others when he drunkenly ran over them in his car.

A real cool mom and dad are under arrest for allegedly convincing their teenage kids to clean their rooms by bribing them with weed and cocaine.

A band of wild animals are apparently on the loose, prowling through a small town in Oklahoma after they were sprung from their enclosures by a tornado that hit the exotic animal park Wednesday.

A woman has filed a $5 million class action suit against United Airlines, alleging the airline routinely and fraudulently misrepresents the capabilities of its inflight entertainment systems.

Sure you can talk all you want about how You’re anthropomorphizing a dumb bird Gabrielle, and, Wouldn’t it be nice to get off YouTube and out of the house, but don’t tell me this asshole didn’t know exactly what he was doing.

Jimmy Gojdics managed to survive the perils of Alaska and reality TV stardom before he was apparently shot to death Monday. He was 69.

The owner of a French bar is facing charges of “manslaughter by willful neglect” after a patron took 56 shots of liquor in one night to break the establishment’s posted record. The 57-year-old drinking champ later died at home of a heart attack, and his daughter says the bar owner had been cheering him on.

After days of silence and misreporting, the Mexican resort where Sheryl Sandberg’s late husband allegedly died in an exercise fatality has deleted this photo of its treadmill facility.

Think back, if you dare, to when you were young. Can you recall the Hamburglar, a pudgy cartoon criminal who wore a striped shirt and whose only dream was to steal all of your McDonald’s hamburgers? Now? He’s got a 401k and a propensity for dressing like Justin Bieber.

Last time on Manhattan’s Drunkest Brunches, daytime cocktail peddler Pranna was at risk of losing its liquor license after its Madison Avenue neighbors complained about customers’ belligerent, bottomless-mimosa-soaked antics. A notable incident involving a drunk NYU student who claimed to be the heir “half of fucking Manhattan” certainly wasn’t helping their case.

Cops generally don’t look too kindly on vigilantes, but they apparently hate rogue, Masonic police forces that claim a 3,000 year-old-legacy and jurisdiction in 33 states. Which is why, last week, the LAPD arrested three California residents allegedly behind the Masonic Fraternal Police Department.

A Cinco de Mayo celebration in Baltimore turned violent last night after an Anne Arundel County, Maryland, police officer allegedly bit a man’s nut during a back-alley brawl.

This vicious attack was filmed last night around 11:10 pm at the Dallas BBQ in New York’s Chelsea neighborhood. For years, Chelsea has had a very visible gay population. It is a terrible place to go if you hate gay people.

Yesterday, the city of Los Angeles filed a lawsuit against the $284 billion bank Wells Fargo alleging that the company pressured employees into defrauding unwitting customers. Isn’t that something?

A New Zealand man was convicted Wednesday of forcibly removing teeth from four women’s mouths while he was having sex with them. Philip Lyle Hansen isn’t a licensed dentist, and the only thing qualifying to yank out his victims’ teeth is that he likes “fat, gummy women” and felt like he was helping them save money on dental bills.

One of the police officers accused of killing Freddie Gray reportedly threatened to kill his ex-girlfriend two years ago, according to court documents obtained by the Guardian. Lt. Brian Rice, who, the report claims, also has also allegedly threatened to commit suicide, was reportedly disciplined internally for the threats and twice had his guns confiscated.

It’s a real shame that the Ninawa International Hotel is owned and operated by an army of blood-lustful zealots who will dismember you for smoking a cigarette, because look at this God damn fountain!

Tomorrow, the citizenry of the United Kingdom will cast their votes in a general election. If you’re an American, you may have been too busy tenderly rubbing your genitals on a gun to have read much about this. Who’s fighting to lead this grey and unpleasant land onward into its inevitable irrelevancy? And how do we even do elections without an electoral college? Allow me, a Proper Brit, to get you up to speed.

Highlands County, Fla., police were able to rescue a mother and her three children allegedly being held hostage by her knife-wielding boyfriend after the woman made a Pizza Hut order online for one large, hand-tossed pepperoni pizza with special instructions to “Please help. Get 911 to me.”