The endlessly fascinating science of communicating with those in a persistent vegetative state dominates the front pages today. Doctors have managed to see into some their minds while asking them to think about tennis. (Really.)

The owner of Heart Attack Grill in Arizona is suing Heart Stoppers Sports Grill in Florida for stealing his idea. That idea, apparently, is serving deliberately high-calorie food in an attempt to kill fat people — you eat free if you weigh over 350lbs.*

Comedian Rob Corddry turns 39 today. Former Vice President Dan Quayle is turning 63. Musician Gavin DeGraw is 33. Boxer Oscar De La Hoya is turning 37. New York Assemblyman Denny Farrell is 78. Singer Natalie Imbruglia turns 35. Alice Cooper is 62. Country music star Clint Black is 48. Olympic gymnast Carly Patterson is turning 22. And the rapper Cam'ron turns 34 today.

He's married, and has twin three-year-olds. Terry has thrown the otherwise stoic island nation into turmoil with revelations he cheated with the (now-former) girlfriend of a teammate. It's not the first piece of scumbaggery he's indulged in.

Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue, son of the Equatorial Guinean dictator managed to move $110 million into the US between 2004 and 2008, a senate investigation shows. Here's a picture we were given of him and his "million dollar watch."

It may, however, be a euphemism for "cosmetic procedures too dangerous to be legal in the States." Mackenzie Phillips backtracks on part of her incest claim. Lady Gaga gets a tattoo for her fans. Thursday's gossip will leave a mark.

Obama's "Aunti Zeituni," Zeituni Onyango, will stand before a federal judge after living illegally in America ever since her asylum request was rejected in 2004. The president says he won't intervene for Onyango, who could be deported to Kenya. [CNN]

Blogging may not destroy the culture after all, because the controllers of all trends—teenagers—are kinda over it: Only 14% of teens say they blog, down from 28% in 2006. Apparently they prefer newfangled activities like social-networking. [Pew]

"The New York area might be in for a blockbuster blizzard at the start of the weekend. A big storm looks to be headed our way from the Rockies, and could dump lots of snow in our area tomorrow night and Saturday morning, say AccuWeather meteorologists. New York City, Long Island, southern and central New Jersey and points south face a "potentially paralyzing" snowfall, the forecasters say." That pretty much sucks, doesn't it? (Unless you're unemployed and desperately looking for work, that is, in which case it's probably good news.) [NYP]

Last time a cash-strapped college girl auctioned her virginity, bidding reached $3.8 million. This week, cyberchick "Unigirl" accepted a paltry $30,000 for hers. Welcome to ECON202: Comparative Studies in the Pricing of Hymen.

Tonight marked the end of the audition phase on American Idol, and—in some respects—they saved the best for last. Case in point: Adrian, a 17-year-old, six-foot-eight, self-described "beautiful man flower," who sings like the woman he resembles.

Christian Bale and Javier Bardem are in a plotless romantic drama. New entries in The Da Vinci Code and Fast and the Furious series of popular films. A movie about a shark attack. Trade Roundup: let us do this thing.

What do you get when you combine the "drunkest guy ever," an auto-tuned, dirty rap lyric-spitting Alex Trebek, Pat Sajak and lots of random cameos? Well, you get one of the weirdest—and most oddly entertaining—videos on the Internet.

If you're NBC, how do you save face after your worst PR crisis ever? Apparently, you have one of your two remaining late night hosts (Carson Daly doesn't count) appear on the other's program. Jimmy Fallon on Jay Leno, inside.

PA woman convicted of animal cruelty for selling "Gothic Kittens." The kittens hated Robert Smith.

Today, Jon Stewart sat down with Bill O'Reilly for a frank discussion on a range of issues, the first part of which aired tonight. Inside, video of the highlights, including Stewart's opinions on President Obama's performance and Fox News' reputation.

It's goes without saying that Mitch Hedberg was one of the most talented standup comedians of the last twenty years, here he is, in his final Late Show appearance.

Tonight was the first half of Jon Stewart's two-night appearance on The O'Reilly Factor. We were very excited: Would Stewart bust out a smackdown of Jim Cramer-sized proportions? Would Bill O'Reilly lose his shit? Was it being broadcast in 3-D?

James Arthur Ray, the Oprah-approved self-help guru implicated in the gruesome sweat lodge deaths of three followers, has been arrested and charged with manslaughter. He wanted them to become 'spirit warriors.' They started vomiting and died instead. [CNN]

Chris Lehmann traded place with his wife Ana Marie Cox; Molly McAleer traded places with Rahm Emanuel; and Alex Payne's messages to Twitter.com traded places with Twitter.com's messages to Alex Payne. The Twitterati got the old switcheroo.