Before a Cannes Film Festival press screening for Ridley Scott's soon-to-be-released blockbuster adaptation of Robin Hood, the movie's star, Russell Crowe, shared some thoughts on whom he thinks the heroic outlaw would steal from were he a real person living in the year 2010.

Bill Clinton his helping Hillary pay down her campaign debt by auctioning himself. "How would you like the chance to come up to New York and spend the day with me," he emailed her donors. [Times of London]

Kevin Jonas, aka "The Ugly One" of the Jonas Brothers, was a celebrity contestant on tonight's Minute to Win It. Flanked by his wife (yes, wife), brothers and parents, Jonas competed admirably—and homoerotically. Inside, ~*~fabulous~*~ video highlights. *Snaps*

Tonight, Jon Stewart aired his final "Clustershag to 10 Downing" segment related to the British prime minister election and subsequent transfer of power, and reveled in the hilariously brutal details of outgoing PM Gordon Brown's final, humiliating moments. Video inside.

How drunk was Caleb Howe when he made fun of Rogert Ebert's cancer on Twitter? Probably really drunk. However, he does not reveal exactly how drunk in the bizarre pseudo-apology to Ebert which for some reason Mediaite ran tonight.

Not by showing guys a fake ultrasound that makes them think their girlfriends are pregnant and scaring them so much they never have sex again. It produces a "mild heating" that disables sperm cells. Sounds pleasing, almost. [Times of London]

[Model Agyness Deyn walks a dog of many colors, beneath an umbrella of many prints, in New York. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

Conservative publisher Andrew Breitbart explained his "irony mustache" today. This is like an "ironic mustache," except for old people. Listen to Breitbart and MSNBC's Dylan Ratigan re-enact a conversation that was had 100,000 times in early-00s Williamsburg dive bars.

Black Flag's Henry Rollins is fed up with the antics of Quentin Tarantino but that won't stop him from attending his movie premieres. Not to actually watch the movie, but for the free after party food.

Hello fennel lovers and fennel haters! All commenters—regardless of their feelings about fennel—are welcome to participate in our Top Chef Masters live blog, which will get underway soon right under this post. Why not join us?

Characters in a BBC children's show apparently say "fuck your mother" in Chinese

Here's one tangible upside to society's dysfunctional love affair with Facebook: The social network has so much information on people's moods and activities that it can now predict how you'll feel after you do something.

When a Calvin Klein underwear model's time comes, do they, like, get shipped off to a small Midwest town where they can do crunches in blissful anonymity? No, the tale of the first Calvin Klein underwear model is tragic.

Tonight, Modern Family takes on Hawaii! I can't wait to see what kind of awkward situations Phil puts everyone in. You know it's inevitable. I'll certainly be in the #tvparty on this dreary evening in NYC, I hope you'll join!

[Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan tries to avoid the third rail today while riding the Senate subway on her way to glad-hand members of the Judiciary Committee. Image via Getty]

Paris Hilton on her summer plans: "I'm just going to be on a yacht. Summer must have? A yacht. I'm going to St. Tropez, Monaco." She continues, "No more McDonald's, In-N-Out done. Getting my bikini body." [Us, photo via X17]

Hey! Here's a medal we can get behind: Generals may someday give medals for "restraint that prevents civilian casualties in combat." We've gotten to the point where we're giving medals out for not killing people! Progress: America style. [CNN] (pic)

Via Twitter BP released a short underwater video of oil and gas gushing into the ocean thanks to the petroleum giant's oil rig accident last month. It's amazing to watch, until you realize it's absolute destruction. [Yahoo!]

Russia's Digital Sky Technologies might be the toast of Silicon Valley, but the investment firm gives the Russian founder of Chatroulette the creeps. Sometimes it takes a teenager to say the obvious, rude things adults can't bring themselves to utter.

Today we looked at overzealous collegers finishing school in three years. We thought that wasn't enough time! One commenter disagreed. They didn't think there should be any college. Well, for some people at least.