"This isn't your father's SNL movie," advises Forte while his Mother watches in Jimmy Fallon's audience. He continues, "It's an R-Rated movie... a hard R" and then treats us to a rapid-fire swearing storm. I laughed my entire way through.

Two Russian girls paid $3000 to come to America for work. They were told to report to a shady New York nightclub to become 'hostesses'. A concerned friend posted about it on Metafilter. They were apparently saved.

An aggressive strain of asparagus is disrupting the town of Bibai, in Japan's Hokkaido island. The area is renowned for its cultivation of edible green asparagus. Now "power asparagus" is striking back, wreaking havoc on Bibai's streets. [Image via Splash]

Everyone is aware that LOST is coming to a close with a highly anticipated Sunday finale event. These are some of the best and most memorable scenes from its run, the scenes that come to mind when thinking about LOST.

As you know, Facebook has been waging an extended war on your privacy: How bad would it have to get for you to quit Facebook? Please "like" our Facebook page and answer this question on our Facebook wall. [Facebook.com]

It's true. He did it. Or he will do it. Also today: a nerd documentary to end all nerd documentaries, Scream 4 will feature a vampire, a link to a picture, and a Peter Scolari joke.

Australian fitness class participants: are they listening to pop music authentic enough to get them pumped? Alas, the answer may be "no." Because in Australia—whether it's cardio-kickboxing, spinning, or some other bullshit—it's set to Britney cover tunes.

He's not quite Astronaut Mike Dexter, but Matt Damon's pilot character Carol might be close enough. Who else would be excited to meet 1.5 Jenna Maroneys? Watch the clip and be charmed.

From a Craigslist roommate ad originating from a Department of Defense researcher: "On our bathroom door is a checklist. I like to keep a record of my bowel movements and I expect you to do the same." Wait—really?

Rand Paul doesn't like Obama going after BP: "I think it's part of this sort of blame game society in the sense that it's always got to be someone's fault instead of the fact that sometimes accidents happen." (pic via)

Here's a lesson in what not to do when you're skipping the court date that will decide whether you go to jail for violating probation: Pose beside a tray of cocaine, at a no-pants party in Cannes. LiLo did it.

With the help of an underground tunnel, a cow suit and a crosswalk, high school seniors stick it to the man. The man in the car.

Chris Young, the man who made New York Housewife LuAnn de Lesseps' musical abomination "Money Can't Buy You Class," says he gets 1,400 emails a day from people who want to work with him. Have they heard the song?

Mediaite reports that Dale Robertson, a self-proclaimed Tea Party leader and a racist who famously mis-spelled the N word on a placard, claims to have joined the Washington Times as part of its 'Tea Party Report' blog.

Now California hippies want to ban paper bags, too. What is next, banning genetically-engineered Funyuns?

We haven't seen his face on television since the last appearance of goat boy, but Jim Breuer joined The Marriage Ref's usually A-list panel. Though he's been out of it for a while, he actually does a good Morgan.

Mikey, a closeted 17-year-old Minnesota hockey player, was the author of a popular blog about being gay in the sports world. He was an inspiration to many. Sadly, he's now been outed as a 40-year-old. The blog's been shut down.

Just in case you can't find that perfect pair of flip flops, you can always just make them out of duct tape. Now you'll finally have something to match that wallet you made back in the day.

Summer monster season has begun! This foot-long creature with a rats tail was found in a creek in Northern Ontario. Elders used to find them all the time, but this is the first Oomajinakoos to be found in forty years.

Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, stood in front of a table of seized guns yesterday, was asked by a reporter how effective his city's gun policy was. He picked up a rifle. And suggested he insert it in the reporter's anus.