Australian fitness class participants: are they listening to pop music authentic enough to get them pumped? Alas, the answer may be "no." Because in Australia—whether it's cardio-kickboxing, spinning, or some other bullshit—it's set to Britney cover tunes.

That's because, as the WSJ reports, in the Communist nation of Australia, the government says gyms have to pay royalties if they play regular music in their crappy classes. So the broke ass Aussie gyms are playing some stone cold unlistenable crap sung by some vocal hack from some poor foreign country getting paid a hundred bucks a track to vomit up some sickly-sweet pop karaoke on a platter of synthesizer shit from hell.

Ruth Pirihi, Radical Fitness's Australian representative, says foreign [cover] artists sometimes stumble. "Some of the songs are hard for them to do, because of the accent," says Ms. Pirihi. "U.S. hip hop artists are hard."

YEA UH HUH. Hey Australia, here's a little tip from the USA, the developed world's least fit country: You think Muzak + Hopping around like a spandex kangaroo= Hardcore? That's where you're wrong. We'll make the math real easy for ya. This:




Plus this:

= HARDCORE FITNESS USA.

[Pic via]