Earlier this week, we—the internet's leading beach monster authority—received three alarming photos of a shaggy monster that washed up "near Old Silver Beach in North Falmouth, MA." We sought out an actual scientific expert to analyze the find.

Still without tickets to next week's 2010 Webutante Ball? If you've got a a keen eye, this competition is for you. We've hidden a few Groupon cats in our videos—the trick is to find them all!

Lest there be any doubt that Suri Cruise's life is better than yours: "Along with having over 100 pairs of shoes… 4-year-old Suri proves again she can keep up with adult trends—this time with her very own iPad."

Old age is catching up with Regis and he can't quite seem to remember what happened a mere few hours earlier. According to his less-than-stellar memory, his morning consisted of "Kellogg K" and "Coffee Joe."

The paperback edition of Paula Froelich's bestselling novel Mercury in Retrograde came out this week. She's celebrating by hanging out in the comments section of this post and suffering the indignity of answering your questions. Ask her anything!

Remember that kooky video last week of the hospital PR man who simply would not stop touching a local news reporter, no matter what? Is there anyone in the world who thought that flack was good? Oh yes—there is.

Last night's Report featured the now infamous clip of a Spanish bullfighter being gored through the mouth by an angry steer. After seeing what these animals go through, you'll root for the bull.

Faisal Shahzad's home is in foreclosure. Terrorists: Hurt by the recession, just like us.

Actress Rue McClanahan died early this morning of a massive stroke. She was 76. A veteran television actress, she was best known for the bawdy retiree Blanche Devereaux she played on '80 sitcom The Golden Girls.

This seems like the physical embodiment of a Jeff Foxworthy joke. "You might me a redneck if...instead of playing golf you just try to kill everything in sight with a giant gun!"

et tu, MTV? In this clip, a team muses on possibly taking advantage of an opponent's asthma problem. On any other MTV show, they'd not think twice about putting anthrax in his inhaler. Have they gone soft?

The California Assembly has voted to ban plastic bags from stores, and to charge a nickel for paper bags. That's 19 billion plastic bags a year, outlawed. The real victims: cheap bastards, like you. Buy a Ziploc, you cheap bastard.

Should you ever find yourself facing classy drinks with classy people, don't freak out, just ask for help and go with your gut. Or just order the cheapest thing they have. Your call.

Glenn Beck was moving toward some sort of revelation on his show when a voice suddenly silenced him. Was it the government? The media? No, it was the people who advertise during his show.

[Chloe Sevigny stops by the East Village set of her "Big Love" costar Ginnifer Goodwin's movie "Something Borrowed." Image via Splash]

This kitten is so hungry that she prays for just a morsel of kibble.

Can you believe it's been 18 months since former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was busted for being a total crook? Today, Blago and his swooping mane finally get their trial. What do we have to look forward to?

New, creative dance styles are always welcome on the SYTYCD stage. Malinda Jacobson's Hick Hop. The Frankenstein monster made from hip hop, square, line and break dancing, Malinda thinks it's the next big thing. Delusions of grandeur, anyone?

Not only doesn't she wear deodorant, but usually skips panties too. This tweener is tweeking on drugs and this singer is cheating. Why can't they all be like this actress who did a selfless deed?

Gary Coleman's wife, who pulled the plug, secretly divorced him years ago. Rob Pattinson frets about typecasting. Lindsay Lohan's cops spilled her coke on the floor. Gummi Bear returns. Thursday gossip is back from the dead.