Don Jamieson and Jim Florentine take That Metal Show to the streets of L.A. to probe cultural literacy. Disgusted by the results, they eventually give up and try to get Don some action instead.

After holding up financial regulatory reform several times to make it more big-bank-friendly, John McCain's enemy, Scott Brown, has finally agreed to support the bill. Its passage seems likely now, although some new asshole will start whining soon enough.

A trained dolphin attempted either an escape or suicide at Okinawa's Churaumi Aquarium: The rogue creature catapulted himself over the edge of the tank and flopped onto the sidewalk before a crowd of screaming onlookers.

This morning Chad Ochocinco stopped by good day to promote his reality TV show and shared his opinion on the Pittsburgh Steelers. Apparently he believes they are all girls. Everyone got a good laugh.

In your arousing Monday media column: Hugh Hefner wants to take Playboy private, new media editors at the NYT, Bill Hemmer's lies don't fool anyone, and screwed freelancers will not be screwed forever.

Harvey Pekar gained notoriety for his strong opinions, sardonic sense of humor and his bristling brilliance. His wife, Joyce Brabner, found Pekar dead this morning.

New York has published a depressing profile of John McCain and his quest to become a boring right-wing hack who can survive a Republican primary. He's so miserable. And he doesn't appreciate naked children like Scott Brown giving him advice!

Amidst all the sexual debauchery, curse words, movie making, and strip clubs even the boys of Entourage can find some time in their busy day for a little "Bromance." Wait, this doesn't go against Barney Stinson's "Bro-Code" is it?

In a big, important new story in New York Magazine, lad about town Jonathan Van Meter writes about a thrilling New York trend. Chic boutique hotels — Ace Hotel, the Standard, the new Gansevoort — are now hotter than nightclubs.

Last week, a jaw-dropping phone recording of Mel Gibson using the N-word surfaced online. Today, a second recording emerges: Eight minutes of Gibson threatening to kill ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva and saying she "fucking deserved" to be punched in the face.

Kathie Lee Gifford ranted about Lindsay Lohan's failure to "get some help," which seemed a bit pot-calling-the-kettle-black to us. The Soup went on to highlight exactly what happened during the rest of the episode of Today—hardcore boozing.

America's Cafeteria, McDonald's, is making obscene amounts of money selling its McCafé coffee simulacrum, and has plans to make even more obscene amounts on its new beverages. But first McDonald's must demystify this odd product, the "smoothie."

Adam Carolla visited Attack of the Show last week to discuss his podcast network, but, as usual, the conversation quickly shifted to women and food. Watch Alison Haislip interrupt the interview to passionately defend her bustly dimensions.

Gen. James Mattis will likely replace Gen. David Petraeus as head of Central Command (CENTCOM), which oversees all Middle East military operations. And it seems he thinks "it's fun to shoot some people," if not "a hell of a hoot."

Michael Bloomberg is basically running his entire city off an iPad. Gotham's fanboy mayor reportedly clings to his Apple tablet like a "security blanket" when he's not calling his new best friend Steve Jobs, the Apple CEO.

Last night, A&E debuted The Glades, a show that would like to brighten up our days. Albeit with murder mystery. While there is a robust amount of other detective shows out there this one takes its seriousness not so seriously.

Remember when Snooki and John McCain Twitter-flirted, revealing Snooki as a closet right-winger and McCain as actually taking the advice of daughter Meghan? That perfect storm has transmogrified into an interview wherein Snooki calls John McCain "really cute."

Daily Profile: Bill Hemmer

Some serious Bill and Sookie drama on True Blood last night when Bill broke up with his southern soul-mate over the phone! After having sex with another vampire! In the first five minutes!

College presidents should be distant, stodgy figures who sit high atop an ivory tower, raising money. Instead, according to an alarming new (true?) Washington Post trend story, they all want to be college kids' "friends." It's already gone too far.