Paris Hilton and her boyfriend drove into a photographer and took off. Lindsay Lohan's brother finally speaks out. There's a new Real Housewife of New York. Katie Couric might return to Today. Take a crash course in Thursday's gossip.

Members of Congress used to love appearing on The Colbert Report, but apparently that's over. Says an aide to a previously embarrassed Colbert guest, the experience "is like herpes. It never goes away, and it itches and sometimes flares up."

Max Moreno was a 21 year-old Pace University business student who cops say was selling weed out of his luxury apartment in the Financial District. Wednesday morning, two people ran up in his apartment and shot him dead.

With some 48 odd hours to go til IFC's premiere of The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, our hopes are high.

Tony Curtis, the Bronx-born actor and onetime heartthrob, star of The Defiant Ones and Some Like It Hot, and father of Jamie Lee Curtis, has died at the age of 85. His movie career spanned nearly six decades. [NYT]

This incredible video will make you realize just how large the universe is as it tracks up from the smallest objects to the largest. It is awe-inspiring in it's execution and in the realization of just how small we are.

John Koblin reports this morning that after months of searching, the New York Times Magazine has finally picked a new editor to succeed Gerald Marzorati. [Update: NYT staff memo below].

New Jersey chef Joe Cerniglia, who once appeared on Kitchen Nightmares, committed suicide last week. Since then, his ongoing affair made the papers. And today, we find out he OD'd on coke last summer. Suicide kills reputations, too. [NYP]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Remember that tornado in Brooklyn two weeks ago? It caused a good amount of damage to the borough's trees and power lines, but there was an even greater casualty: the Gowanus Canal. Here's post-tornado video of Brooklyn's biggest toilet, overflowing.

A Pakistani boy salvaged a window from his home after flooding in Dadu district, southern Pakistan. The UN says flooding there has left 8 million people homeless and 12 million in need of emergency food aid. [Dawn; Image via AP]

Rampant "dogging" at the Hog's Back "lay-by" (or, public fucking at a rest stop) near Puttenham, England has officially grossed out the locals. So the county council has proposed filling the field with cattle to keep people from boning there.

As if working for McDonald's didn't suck enough aready: The company may drop health insurance for 30,000 hourly employees.

Who: Formerly the chief food critic for the Times, Reichl was the editor-in-chief of Gourmet until the magazine's closure in 2009. She's now an editor-at-large at Random House.

The Commonwealth Games are approaching! Host nation India has taken heat for having the grossest athletes' housing ever, but that's nothing: The vuvuzela is lurking. At least 10,000 shitty plastic faux-traditional horns have already been sold in New Delhi.

This is the first official photo of Kim Jong Un, third son and likely successor of current Leader Kim Jong Il. (He's on the left). Remember this moment when he signs a peace accord in 2035 with President Snooki!

Tonight—on the same day that President Obama endorsed his rally—Jon Stewart came out swinging with his strongest anti-Obama Daily Show segment to date. Inside, video of the unexpected segment, during which Stewart basically called Obama a dishonest idealist.

Comedian Larry the Cable Guy is selling his house! You see, Larry (née Dan Whitney) isn't actually a funny cable guy who lives in a mobile home. In reality, he is a wealthy entertainer with horrible taste. Want to see?

Astronomers have discovered a possibly Earth-like—and therefore possibly liveable—planet in a star system 20 light years away, which is pretty close, in galactic terms. But can we all move to that planet when we've finished destroying this one?

During tonight's high school bake-sale challenge — much to Team Pep Eric's chagrin — Team Glee's Heather C. hoards every peanut butter container in the Top Chef: Just Desserts kitchen. Watch as Team Pep returns the favor by holding the butter hostage.