In your disastrous Thursday media column: Philip Falcone cannot stop the media, a media reporter job is open now, a newspaper wants to see your tats, and the Boston Globe and Philly Inquirer are total wrecks, in separate ways.

The greatest literary mind of her generation, Jersey Shore's Snooki, is set to publish her first novel next year. Audition to be her ghostwriter by penning the first page of her novel! You could win a fun prize.

Last week's episode hinted that something was amiss in Hank's new/old house, before teasing us in the final scene with an image of some sort of burglar retreating into the ceiling while Hank was distracted with his guitar.

White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, about whom every rumor is usually true, will resign tomorrow to run for mayor of Chicago. Pete Rouse, Obama's ex-Senate chief of staff, will take over. But where will "Rahmbo" live? [Image: Getty]

On Saturday, Bryan Cranston will drop the seriousness of Walter White and return to comedy when he hosts SNL. How we've missed you, Tim Whatley! Inside, a collection of promos for the episode.

News Corp. head honcho Rupert Murdoch testified on Capitol Hill today about the need for immigration reform that includes a path to citizenship for current illegal immigrants. Sounds good, kangaroo man! Why not explain this to your Fox News?

Daily Profile: Ruth Reichl

The rich: what the hell are they doing with their time, anyhow? Published reports indicate that the wealthy and successful among us are primarily engaged in two activities: teaching your college class, and eating cheap hamburgers.

Does Gordon Ramsay attract all the crazies or what? This week, some would-be head chefs stuck their heads in freezers, indulged in serious delusions of grandeur, and had a self proclaimed "ghetto" catfight right before elimination.

[Catherine Zeta-Jones was doing her best Gloria Swanson at Heathrow Airport this morning. Image via INF]

Alex Blagg is talking to you, internet, and he wants to be your expert social media strat guru. He's the ideal man for the job; see why as he yells and sweats through a convincing diatribe on the issue.

The Gregory brothers took the video of a woman singing her unfortunate ode to SunnyD, and with the help of Auto-Tune they turned it into something far greater. Watch both videos inside, and see the transformation!

Gawker.TV Trivia, a daily question & answer game that tests your knowledge of television—past and present. Do you think you that you've got it? The answer to today's question, inside.

Police believe they may have found the body of Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers student who jumped to his death after a roommate spied on him having gay sex. Meanwhile, some Rutgers students are saying Clementi's roommate's actions were misinterpreted.

Now that conservative prankster James O'Keefe is back in the news after failing to seduce a CNN anchor on his boat, let's show CNN's Abbie Boudreau what she missed! Here are a couple of O'Keefe's studly high school yearbook photos.

LADIES! It's time to purchase a hunk-tastic FDNY calendar for "charity." Robin Roberts surely will. And fellas, next time remember to be "unapologetically handsome" and you'll be halfway to being without a shirt on Good Morning America.

It's official: Anderson Cooper will host a syndicated daytime talk show beginning in fall 2011. What should he call it?

He wants a little more than a latte in the morning. This actress was a member of the Black Panthers and this singer wants out of his PR stunt relationship. This is the best part of waking up.

AC/DC and Ray Parker Jr's Ghostbusters theme are two great tastes that taste great together. Wax Audio's mash-up hit YouTube in July, but it's blown up lately thanks to the efforts of The Nerdist, Chris Hardwick.

Goldman Sachs' new mass-market ad campaign touts the firm's "job creation." Ballsy.