Al Qaeda is a terrible employer: The bastards don't even offer health benefits.

Poor Eliot Spitzer. The former governor's new TV show sucks, and now the rich people at the Harvard Club of New York City have rejected his application ("a rare snub") to talk about money and play squash with them. Ouch.

Who: Perelman is a legendary financier, corporate raider, and buyout king. He's equally famous for his string of failed marriages and contentious divorces.

Mexican authorities yesterday flew in journalists, dignitaries and college kids to watch the burning of 134 tons of marijuana — much of which was seized earlier this week near Tijuana. It was a statement to drug cartels, or something.

Meg Whitman, the Republican nominee for California Governor, used to be the CEO of eBay. She knows a lot about computers, right? Apparently not enough to prevent a staffer from mistakenly Tweeting a video of a cross- Japanese bass player.

[Actor Sean Penn channels an aging rocker who looks a lot like the Cure's Robert Smith in his new movie, This Must Be the Place, which he is filming right now. Photo via Bauer-Griffin. Close up below.]

Longtime NPR contributor Juan Williams has had his contract severed by the radio network! Because, guess what, he made some stupid comments about Muslims on Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor. (Spoiler: He is scared of them.)

Ari Up, the lead singer of legendary English punk band the Slits, has died at 48.

Colorado Republican congressional candidate Cory Gardner made an ad criticizing his opponent Betsey Markey's support for Obama's budget. Except, uh, Betsey Markey didn't vote for the budget. Ed Markey, of Massachusetts, did. This would be embarrassing, in any other year.

After Beverly Hills 90210 ended, did you ever think your love for actor Luke Perry would be re-ignited? Well, gaze upon these photos of Perry posing with fans at sci-fi convention Dragon Con, and it will be.

Facebook allows users to list which gender of partner they're "interested in." But do you want Facebook's advertisers to know if you're gay? A Microsoft researcher has found a loophole which could secretly reveal a gay user's sexuality to advertisers.

Lest you forget, viewer, Morgan is a "heterosexual male" first and pastry chef second. This week on Just Desserts, Morgan reminds us of this fact when he expresses his utter distaste for "flamboyant" things like show tunes and Julie Andrews.

Penthouse Founder Bob Guccione has died of cancer. He was 79. Guccione was once one of America's richest men because he published a softcore porno mag where women actually showed their vaginas. Then the Internet happened. [Image via AP]

[Halle Berry rides a motorcycle with her rumored boyfriend , Oliver Martinez, in West Hollywood. Image via Splash.]

Jon Stewart was on Larry King Live tonight. In between Stewart's relentlessly mocking of CNN, Larry King managed to present him with a gift: One porta-potty for The Daily Show's Rally to Restore Sanity.

Tonight, Larry King welcomed Jon Stewart to discuss the "Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear," his new book, and more. Then, randomly, King decided to gift Stewart a Porta-Potty. It was awkward, hilarious, and oh so much more. Watch inside.

After eyeing a reporter's Dell laptop, Apple CEO Steve Jobs taunted him and other writers covering today's Apple event, saying, "Look at all those fat notebooks." The razzing worked: Forbes' Brian Caulfield now calls the MacBook Air healthier for reporters.

Gay Googlers have added their voices to the "It Gets Better" campaign against teen suicide. This is a rich and well edited collection of stories, and it's heartening to realize the participants landed at a company as selective as Google.

On tonight's Factor, Bill O'Reilly continued to belabor the discussion of his fight with the ladies of The View. One example: he had on "body language expert" Tonya Reiman (remember her?) to analyze things. Sigh. Watch Reiman's "analysis" inside.

Kumail Nanjiani talks about the latest and most badass drug epidemic to hit the Midwest. As he puts it, "You can't just sprinkle heroin on things and call it a new drug."