In your cheeky Thursday media column: Henry Blodget demonstrates the New Journalism, NYT blogger profiles reach a new low, every media relaunch is delayed, and America's thinkiest journalists embed at a White House dinner party.

Freshman Republican Rep. Michael Grimm, who represents all of Staten Island and parts of Brooklyn, has hired a former NYPD detective to serve as a bodyguard for himself and his staff. Hey, other New York-area congressional staffers: Are you jealous?

During the Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger segment on last night's Colbert Report, Stephen took on the recent shift in zodiac signs by donning a Miss Cleo headdress and divining the future himself.

Up until now, a curtain dropped abruptly and that was it. Now the trouble-plagued Turn Off the Dark is getting a real ending: more flying! That's smart, having one last chance to get an accident in before everyone goes home.

[Sarah Jessica Parker on the New York set of "I Don't Know How She Does It." Photo via Bauer-Griffin]

Ah, restaurant wars—the favorite elimination challenge of any Top Chef season, where the cheftestants scramble to open a successful pop-up restaurant in a matter of days. How did they fare? Video inside.

There are only three things in life that are inevitable: death, taxes, and "restaurant wars," the annual challenge where Top Chef contestants must create a restaurant in a day. It always ends in disaster.

Continuing her promotion for NBC's Perfect Couples, Olivia Munn made her way onto the 4th hour of Today and was stoked for some day-drinking. Inside, she addresses her controversial Maxim cover, why she's single, and pounds glasses of wine. Bravo!

Tawd Dorenfeld beautifully animates the phone call of when Lyndon Johnson needed to buy pants in 1964 that would leave plenty of room "down where your nuts hang."

In what might be the shortest Today Show interview ever, Al and Ann gave Nick Offerman a government pop quiz and chatted about Rob Lowe "bringing his cheekbones to Pawnee."

Watch as thousands of Fisherman rush into a small lake in a frantic frenzy to empty it's contents in only a matter of seconds.

A lengthy new report on the 2002 kidnapping and murder of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl says that a photo of a hand definitively proves that 9/11 plotter Khalid Sheik Mohammed killed and decapitated Pearl, on video.

This is what happens when you inhale too much helium at once. Kids these days!

Remember Rick Santorum, former top social conservative senator from Pennsylvania? Well, he's probably running for president. And he just can't stand Barack Obama's position on abortion, which is "almost remarkable for a black man" to have.

Thanks, Idol, for the implied message that the mainstream media and all of America was losing their collective minds this past year, wondering and wondering who the next judges would be. Guess what—not all of us cared!

Gawker.TV Trivia, a daily question & answer game that tests your knowledge of television—past and present. Do you think you that you've got it? The answer to today's question, inside.

By now we all know about Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World, but did you know there is also a World's Sleaziest Man as well? What he drinks probably won't surprise you.

Kim Kardashian wants to impart some serious life lessons to the young girls of America, because she's qualified to do so. Also today: Tom Brady needs surgery and Halle Berry really likes to yell a lot at her ex-boyfriend.

This driver has taken the art of parking in winter time and turned it on its head.

Of course the NMA animated this story, and their interpretation of it didn't disappoint. It begins by saying that Ricky "went missing for an hour" and then imagines all of the people who were physically beating him backstage.