Thanks, Idol, for the implied message that the mainstream media and all of America was losing their collective minds this past year, wondering and wondering who the next judges would be. Guess what—not all of us cared!

Hey, producers: "But this isn't our story—it's—YOURS" might be the cheesiest message of all time. And who are the kind of people that auditorium? Who shows up for that kind of event? American Idol, you truly confuse me.

[There was a video here]