Wal-Mart today announced a five-year plan to modestly reduce sodium, sugar, and trans fats in all the food it sells. For this, they got a press conference with Michelle Obama in a sleeveless dress. Totally worth it. [NYT]

Today on The View, Barbara and Elizabeth test the recall ability of three people with hyperthymesia, or super-autobiographical memory. Would they be able to remember what happened on any given day over twenty years ago?

Have you ever wondered if birds pee and not only just produce white poop? Watch the answer to this age old question at 600 frames per second.

The season finale starts out with none other than Jason Davis. Jason needs to go to Hawaii. Shelly reminds him how wrong he is. Jason also questions his mortality. Oh Jason, Jason, Jason. What will Dr. Drew do with you?

It looks increasingly like Steve Jobs' reign at Apple is over. If the CEO doesn't return from his third, indefinite medical leave, COO Tim Cook will succeed him, marking a new era not only for Apple but for gay progress.

Are you following Gawker on Facebook and Twitter? Are you keeping tabs on Gawker's writers via Facebook? You really should!

Wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is playing with an iPad now, which, according to her doctors, "indicates a high level of cognitive functioning." Apple always wins! If she were playing with a Dell or Samsung tablet, it wouldn't be as significant.

Swift Justice with Nancy Grace has only been on the air for a little over four months, but Nancy has always made it a point to condemn alcohol whenever possible. Here is a compilation of all her booze-scolding so far.

Bored construction workers take an unusual approach to their job and cement with some interesting results.

In case you missed the Golden Globes on Sunday, Natalie Portman told a not-funny joke during her acceptance speech and then let out a horrendous cackle. Naturally the hivemind of the internet latched onto it and a meme's been born.

On last night's Chelsea Lately, adorable Ginnifer Goodwin manages to get even more adorable-er. While promoting the newest (and final) season of Big Love, Ginnifer also discusses failing miserably out of clown school and her inability to humiliate herself well.

Conservative saboteur Andrew Breitbart, the man behind the ACORN "pimp" and not-racist NAACP videos, has a new project lined up: grinding balls with gay conservatives at a "big ol' gay party" in early February. Have you made your travel arrangements?

After waking up from an operation, Karen Byrne discovered she had the rare Alien Hand Syndrome. Like a real-life "Dr. Strangelove," Byrne has no control over the actions of her left hand, appearing "possessed" and "frightening" to outsiders. Scary!

Parks & Recreation's adorable Chris Pratt stopped by Conan last night and regaled us with stories about killing what he eats, his love of taxidermy, and feeding his wife Anna Faris' family squirrel for the first time over the holidays.

After 26 years on the board of the Washington Post Co., Warren Buffett is stepping down. He's old! And wise.

It is back! Oh sufferin' Seacrests, is it ever back. We embark upon season 10 of this tarnished talent show with a wary curiosity. So much is new, so that could be exciting. But, then again, probably not.

Wait until the anti-sword lobby gets a hold of this infomercial.

Two guitarists translate the beauty of Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" into an epic cover metalhead's can finally appreciate.

On Lopez Tonight, Cameron Diaz told viewers that she has been "green" for a very long time. Not only does she drive a Prius, but Cammie used to smoke pot in high school.

A man only reacts with only mild annoyance as another man repeatedly hits him with a shovel.