God's favorite investment banker, Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein, made a shitload of money last year! Originally we thought he made $13.2 million in 2010 but, according to Bloomberg News today, it turns out he nearly doubled his 2009 take with a $19 million compensation package:

Too busy to sit down in front of the ol' boob tube this week? Here's what you missed.

Most know that The Far Side was one of the great comic strips of the 80s and 90s, while few realize that in 1994 a particularly edgy television special aired on CBS.

The synthetic fake weed known as "spice" — the scourge of America's armed forces — has claimed the career of another Naval Academy midshipman, bringing the total number of students expelled for taking bong rips of expensive oregano to 12. From Reuters:

When Stephen Colbert donated $26,000 of Jimmy Fallon's money to charity without permission, Fallon one-upped him by challenging the public to come up with the cash. Our prize? Colbert would sing Rebecca Black's "Friday" on tonight's Late Night. [Gawker.TV]

When Stephen Colbert donated $26,000 of Jimmy Fallon's money to charity without permission, Fallon one-upped him by challenging the public to come up with the cash. Our prize? Colbert would sing Rebecca Black's "Friday" on tonight's Late Night.

Jesus makes Jim Gaffigan feel uncomfortable. He's not really the religious type, being a "cafeteria Catholic" and all that.

When we told you that many Americans don't make enough money to survive, one commenter suggested the U.S. guarantee food, shelter, and health care for all Americans. Captain Fabulous put on his satirical Republican hat to argue why that's a bad idea.

Catfish is a pretty interesting documentary about a guy who found out that someone he was talking to on the Internet wasn't who he thought she was. (Gasp!) Now MTV is developing a pilot focused on "social network users who purposely misidentify themselves and the repercussions that occur." So, it's the MTV version of that famous New Yorker cartoon with the dog.

This week there are no movies coming out. April Fool's! There are lots of movies coming out! Movies about a creepy animated Easter Bunny, some sad adult superheroes, sexy gun-shooting criminals, and a murderous rubber tire. Seriously on that last one. No fooling.

For the new Winnie The Pooh movie, Zooey Deschanel wrote two new songs and did a new take on the Pooh theme song. The movie will hit theaters this summer.

Google CEO Eric Schmidt once famously proclaimed that today's kids might all need to change their names to escape their embarrassing Internet trail. What about tech CEOs? A new book reveals Schmidt tried, and failed, to scrub his own Google results.

The beefy young man who got caught on camera having sex on the roof of a building at USC is so ashamed he's apparently gone into hiding. Come on, buddy, now's your moment!

Things got unintentionally hot and heavy when the contestants of RuPaul's Drag Race swung by The Soup to receive their reward for Best Ability to Mesh Fashion and Double Entendre. Tuck it back a notch, ladies!

Charges for Lindsay Lohan's alleged assault of a Betty Ford Center employee Dawn Holland have been dropped, and now we've been treated to audio from the 911 call that started the mess. Turns out Lindsay called the cops because she was scared of Dawn.

Wes Craven told Jimmy Kimmel his mean, little trick to get child actors to cry in his horror films—telling them their mother is dead. Works like a charm!

Running for president is perhaps the most surefire way to destroy your family life and depress your close relatives forever. Just imagine if your spouse came in and said, "I've decided I want to run for president." Does anyone ever react positively to this announcement? "Oh great THANKS A LOT, FUCKO," seems like the appropriate response. Because within 24 hours, the national news will find and play that S&M porno you shot in college, on repeat. "Does America want a president," the news anchor will say, "whose spouse is a whore?"

From the Products We Don't Need file comes Metro Mitt, a little plastic bag for you to put over your hands while holding the pole in the subway. It's supposed to make your commute more sanitary. God, this thing is stupid.

Today, Republicans tried their hand at comedy with this Obama 2012 ad, steeped in sarcasm and showcasing pictures of him singing with the Jonas brothers. Perhaps the crowning moment is when tiny, animated Obama rides a unicorn over a rainbow.

Once in a while it's good to take a break from the snide and the sarcastic and do something good. In that spirit, we'd like to urge our New York readers to attend Skeletor Saves, a He-Man inspired art show, co-curated by our very own Brian Moylan, benefiting the Ali Forney Center for homeless LGBT youth.