When we told you that many Americans don't make enough money to survive, one commenter suggested the U.S. guarantee food, shelter, and health care for all Americans. Captain Fabulous put on his satirical Republican hat to argue why that's a bad idea.

*puts on Republicant hat*

But that's SOCIALISM, which sound a lot like facism and Nazism. And any attempt to provide health care to all Americans will mean sending grandma to a death camp! Don't look at the rich to pay more than less than their fare share, cause DUH, they're rich, which means they're special. And why should they have to pay as much or more as everyone else? You don't want them to be run into the poorhouse, do you? Cause what will happen to American jobs then? Do you really want India, China, and Mexico to have what few jobs are left here? That's what will happen if you tax corporations. And that goes double for raising the minimum wage.

And benefits? You mean for all those welfare queens with kids to feed? Pull up those bootstraps ladies. Get a 5th or even 6th job if you have to. The government isn't your personal ATM y'know. We've done everything in our power to ensure that kid was born whether you wanted it or not, but after that, well, you're on your own.

We need smaller government who doesn't try to tell GE how to run its operations. I mean seriously, they only got $3.2 billion in tax credits this year after paying $0 in corporate taxes. That's just disgraceful. If you can't milk at least $10 billion in tax credits from the American people then something is horribly wrong. All those restrictions and regulations are killing the former American jobs they've sent overseas. And what's GE to do when they can no longer afford to hire Indians while still paying their executives a few billion a year? More jobs lost. And do you really want those Indian job losses on your conscience? We have a duty to help companies like GE employ as many people as possible, and only thru $0 corporate taxes, billion dollar executive salaries and bonuses, and no regulations can we make this possible. It's up to you America! Keep America strong! God bless the USA!!!

*takes off Republicant hat and burns it*

Good, that hat didn't match his outfit anyway.

[Image via Dieselbug2007's Flickr]