Researchers at a government-funded laboratory have built a giant touchscreen videogame that simulates the capture of illegal aliens. The game gives people a chance to "play through various scenarios and see how people, technology, and other elements all interact." [Kotaku]

New Hampshire's Republican voters will have so many wonderful candidates to choose from in the first 2012 presidential primary, but two of them rise above the field.

When a crazy lady attacked Paul Gauguin's "Two Tahitian Women" in the National Gallery earlier this week, it wasn't just an attack on one painting; it was an attack on local TV news directors having an easy day, for once.

Leigh Morse, the former director of Salander-O'Reilly Gallery, was acquitted of pocketing $77,000 that belonged to actor Robert De Niro from the sale of his late father's paintings. De Niro even testified in the case last week, but that wasn't enough to convince the jury, apparently.

Here's a trailer for Everything Must Go, a dramedy (ick) based on Raymond Carver's short story "Why Don't You Dance." In it Ferrell plays a sadsack who loses his job and his wife on the same day, has something of a psychic break, and decides to live with all of his stuff on his front lawn.

Shelley Ross is a former executive producer at Good Morning America and the CBS Early Show. She's most famous for being disliked by her employees, and then having said employees snitch to the media about how much they hated her.

For the longest time, the ultrarich had such limited social media choices, with Harvey Weinstein's lame "Myspace for Millionaires," ASmallWorld, being the most prominent option. Now, a veritable garden of exclusive social networks for the wealthy has bloomed, like the spring flowers at your Tuscan villa.

Angelina adds a new coordinate to the tattooed list of her children's birthplaces. Charlie Sheen gets a standing ovation in Cleveland. Nick Cannon rather regrets taking "nasty" naked pictures with Mariah. Wednesday gossip is feeling broody.

Puppy pals Gus and Jaxx always have each others baxx. Watch as Gus helps free Jaxx when he gets stuck under the couch.

This celebrity got herself all dried out and then did shots with a parent to celebrate her sobriety. This vegetarian actress is a big old hypocrite. Seems to be going around these days.

Sometimes the advertising industry can really surprise you. But not most of the time. The "Outdoor Hall of Fame" has held a big contest and finally declared that this sexxxy lady in a bra is the best poster ad ever.

We interrupt your morning stupor for some news of our universe's most fundamental particles! The NYT advises us of the hottest news in physics today: researchers at Fermilab's particle accelerator think that they may have discovered the Higgs boson, a heretofore purely theoretical particle that endows certain things with mass, such as your ill-informed arguments about the nature of the universe, if you casually toss around the term "Higgs boson" like you know what it means.

Everyone knows that being unemployed increases the risk of wearing your pajamas all day. But it's much worse than that: A new study finds that being unemployed increases the risk of premature death by 63 percent.

People who might appreciate bacon-scented cologne: your dog, possibly your cat, maybe your butcher. People who will think it's funny but weird: everyone else.

On June 30th, 1999, officers in St. Louis, Missouri, found the body of Ricky McCormick, 41, in a field. He had been murdered. There were no clues, with two exceptions: two notes written in code in McCormick's pants pockets.

Have you read Misconception, a page-turner of a "reproductive thriller," self-published by fertility specialist Dr. Avner Hershlag? Well, you might want to jump on that baby now, before a major publisher buys it and hikes up the price considerably. That's because Hershlag — who happens to be the dad of Natalie Portman — has been shopping the book around.

Who knew that the simple act of blowing one's nose in public could start a ripple effect that would put a man in jail? And he wasn't even blowing snot-rockets.

At 3:00 AM today, Britney Spears tweeted a link to the music video for her new single, "Till The World Ends," which is basically four minutes of a sexy, mid-apocalyptic dance session between Spears and a horde of hangers-on.

Madonna is not, she repeats not, being investigated by the FBI for that charity scandal in which she currently finds herself embroiled. However, they might be investigating her for her other charity scandal — but just a little. [Sun Times]

On his show tonight, Conan O'Brien announced that he really missed Larry King. His solution? Allow King to host a show from, as the CNN legend put it, the "creepy rafters" above O'Brien's studio. Alas, it didn't take long for both men to get annoyed by the other's presence.