Be aware! Despite what you may think/hope, shooting a gun at a reality show is, in fact, illegal, as 40-year-old Las Vegan Carlos Barron learned on Monday night following an unfortunate altercation with the seven-person crew filming Spike's Repo Games. It seems Barron had been yelling at the driver of a van parked in front of his home; the Repo Games crew allegedly saw him hit the driver, and approached to intervene. Barron responded by drawing a handgun and firing "multiple shots." He then barricaded himself in his home before fleeing through a window, eventually being apprehended by a police dog. No one was hurt in the incident. [Las Vegas Sun]

If you have no fixed address, and are unsure about where to send your kids to school, do not send them to Brookside Elementary in Norwalk, Conn., where a mother was just charged with larceny for illegally enrolling her son.

Today we heard the story of a male high school student who was asked to leave class because he was wearing high heels. Oh brother. What is it about high heels that gets people so incensed? One commenter knows the explosive secret.

The feel-good blog item of the day is the story of when the small town of Brandon, Mississippi successfully foiled Westboro Baptist Church's plan to protest a Marine's funeral. (Here is a video of the refreshingly protester-free road as Marine Staff Sgt. Jason Rogers is returned home on April 14.) How'd they do it? They sicced the police on them and beat them up.

Just when you think professional ridiculous person Gwyneth Paltrow can't provide more fodder for her haters, she calls her grandmother "a real cunt." Following Chelsea Handler's admission that her grandmother was "a real bitch," Our Lady of Organic Dewdrops lays into old Grandma Muti:

Hot on the heels of Google releasing its Groupon clone, Facebook has announced it will push online coupons, too, via a new product called Facebook Deals. Unlike its competitors, Deals will show up in your Facebook news feed. Great.

A security breach in the Playstation Network by still unidentified hackers resulted in stolen personal information, Sony confirmed today. Sony says while personal information was likely stolen, they don't believe credit card numbers were involved. [Kotaku]

America's most polarizing actress has been cast in another project, one that's sure to be issuey. What will people say? Also today: a good actress joins a hopefully good movie, more Hunger Games casting news, and some good and some bad for HBO.

Super computers! Narcissistic kids! Harvard scandals! Floating ants! Big lasers! Lying Superman! Magic batteries! Anti-helium! And sexxxy peacock pimping secrets! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—bitingly!

There is some lightly sourced babble at Reuters today about "desire at the highest ranks of the Republican Party" for House Budget Committee chair Rep. Paul Ryan to launch a presidential bid. This is partially confirmed by more lightly sourced babble on Twitter. There's a slim chance of this ever happening — Paul Ryan, for one, has no interest — but with Obama's poll numbers slinking further into the crapper, Republican elites are still looking for new candidates with scalable support. If they decide he's their guy, they'll force him to do it.

We've criticized Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams lately for some stupid things he's done and said on the internet. This makes us "Nazi wannabes," according to him.

The only reason most people bother purchasing Internet service is to read actor Chuck Norris' insane right wing political columns, which are syndicated on an array of terrible liar websites like World Net Daily and Townhall.com. But now you can just print out what's already been written and cancel that service, because he's probably already published everything that would appear in future columns.

With recent revelations of mental illness by Catherine Zeta-Jones and Demi Lovato making the rounds through mainstream media (including Michael Douglas's recent sit-down with Oprah), bipolar disorder is experiencing a moment in the spotlight. [Jezebel]

Pushy oaf Donald Trump has expanded his trenchant critique of Barack Obama's policy agenda: He's now wondering how Obama, a "terrible, terrible student," got into Columbia University and later Harvard Law School.

Praise be the gods, our long national nightmare of peace and quiet is over. After firing Gilbert Gottfried from his job voicing Aflac's screaming spokes-duck, the insurance company has completed its national search for a less offensive replacement. The winner is a sales manager from Hugo, Minnesota (population: 13,000) named Daniel McKeague. Congratulations, Daniel. We can't wait to scramble for the mute button every time your bone-chilling squawk comes on TV.

Just a few months after SETI Institute scientists stumbled onto dozens of planets potentially hosting alien life, the federal government suddenly cut off their funding. SETI calls this "a huge irony." Yes, what a coincidence! (Astrophysicists are so naive.)

Tonight NBC rolls out the first episode of its much-hyped, overly-complicated singing competition The Voice. This is a mistake on so many levels, mostly because America has depleted its talent pool to the point of exhaustion. With our countless number of reality talent competitions, there is no one good enough to be on these shows anymore.

Senator Al Franken (D-MN) has stepped up his pressure on Apple CEO Steve Jobs, announcing on Monday that he will hold hearings on the recent revelation that Apple iPhones and iPads are secretly tracking and storing their users' locations.

The pioneering social network Friendster is dead. The site is deleting all user content on May 31st and will reboot as an "entertainment and fun" service for Asians. In honor of its passing, want to hear your best Friendster memories.

Because the ranks of Scary Sadshaws will never diminish, those that are in love with both cupcakes and stupid cocktails made with flavored vodkas have demanded there should be a cupcake flavored vodka. This shit is seriously nasty.