There are very few instances when eating anything at all from McDonald's deserves a pass. Post-joint/blunt/bong rip/whatever is one of them. But when you're getting high in public it pays to be at least somewhat vigilant (when possible). Just ask flagrant 21-year-old Jose Barrera of Elgin, Illinois:

Scientists are worried that Australia's koalas could become extinct due to a combination of global warming, being hit by cars, being eaten by dogs, and the rampant spread of Chlamydia among the koala community. And now you know.

The Los Angeles Times has read the congressional report on the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives operation called Fast and Furious during which federal agents sold 1,765 guns to Mexican smugglers (and then drug cartels), and guess what? It was a really bad idea.

Here's an awkward scenario: Muammar Qaddafi's eldest son, Muhammad, throwing London 2012 Olympic Games ragers in Britain, attending high profile events, and maybe even scalping some tickets for a little extra cash. It could happen! The Telegraph reports that the Libyan Olympic Committee, which is headed by Muhammad, has been granted nearly 1,000 tickets to the Games, and they are free to sell them "at a 20 per cent mark-up."

Is your child's summer camp a bit too... Kenyan, let's say? Don't worry! There's still space at the weeklong "Tampa Liberty School," a camp designed to help children aged 8-12 learn about important concepts like Freedom and The Gold Standard.

Robert Ross, a former member of the Main Street Mafia Crips Gang in L.A., testified in court yesterday that seven other men from the gang abducted and robbed him in 2008 while trying to get their hands on a Shaquille O'Neal sex tape that Ross claims he has.

Disastrous Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark finally, really, actually opened, believe it or not. No one died, or anything! Guess who showed up? Julie Taymor, the director who was forced out by producers just a few months ago.

Last week, Republican presidential hopeful Tim Pawlenty introduced what he called the "Google Test" to fix the nation's economic problems, which he explained thusly: "If you can find a good or service on the Internet, then the federal government probably doesn't need to be doing it." So, does Pawlenty's big idea actually work? On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert tried to find out.

It's always nice to hear about politicians who respond to their constituents personally. Even if those responses are barely coherent expressions of resentment and ignorance!

Last night, CNN's John King moderated the first Republican primary debate of the 2012 election season. High on theatrics, like King's stupid "This or That" questions for each candidate, the debate had many critics. And as you'll see in the above clip from tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart wasn't all that impressed either.

Most of us are decent people, but that doesn't mean we're perfect. Speeding tickets, bad credit, overdraft fees: We've all been there at some point in the past. Here's how to get out of trouble unscathed. [Lifehacker]

The Iranian government, which last year banned the mullet, calling it a "decadent western [hair]cut," is reportedly deploying some 70,000 literal fashion police to enforce the newest style Dos and Don'ts of the "moral security plan." For women, this means no more loose-fitting headscarves, tight jackets or exposed leg skin; for men, no necklaces and no shorts. (Also, no "glamorous hairstyles.") Last year, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad voiced his disapproval of the recent crackdown; earlier this year, the Iranian parliament attempted to ban dog ownership. [The Guardian; image via AP]

The NYC location of Soul Daddy—the healthy soul food restaurant born from the NBC reality show America's Next Great Restaurant, has been closed after just one month of operating at the South Street Seaport. The Los Angeles and Minneapolis locations (on the third floor of the Mall of America) remain open. A statement from the company reads:

Oh, Law and Order, you left us too soon! If only you had been around to thinly fictionalize the tale of the opera singer and the family practitioner, fighting over frozen pad thai at the Upper East Side Trader Joe's.

Who would have guessed that the guy behind "The Most American Campaign Ad Ever Made" would also make The Most Racist Campaign Ad Ever Made? Everyone, probably. Everyone could have guessed that.

A federal judge has rejected the argument by supporters of California's gay marriage ban that U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker — who ruled the ban unconstitutional — was biased because he is gay.

After ten years of widespread bitching, the U.S. Army has changed its official combat uniform, replacing the black beret—which is hot and difficult to put on, not to mention very early-2000s—with the rather more fetching patrol cap, which was standard until 2001. The beret will still be a component of the service uniform, and units that wore berets before the change—Rangers (black or tan), Special Forces (green), Airborne (maroon) and Joni Mitchell (raspberry)—will continue to rock theirs. [Army Times; images via AP]

Today we heard the news that the wacky Europeans over at Airbus are designing a new super plane that will feature sex hibachis and gay Facebook or something. Read the article. But all that is unnecessary clutter. Let's be more practical here, argues one commenter.

House Majority Leader John Boehner is calling for Anthony Weiner's resignation. This does not bode well for Weiner, as even his fellow penisy-named congressmen have left his side!

The little lady's got some heat on her, fresh off of one hit and onto a potential second one. Also today: Tom Cruise likes 'em big, two actors join the fight against the zombies, and J.Lo might J.Go.