Today we remarked upon how hilariously awful the New York Observer's op-eds really are. They're pretty awful! What future awfulness awaits us? Some commenters speculated.

Physics professor David C. Flory, of Fairleigh Dickinson University, is in police custody after he was arrested on 40 counts of promoting prostitution. The allegedly pimping professor was nabbed while sitting at a Starbucks in Albuquerque.

A favorite from The Wire seems ready to ascend to new heights with a new role. Also today: the (once-again) return of Jason Patric, the bold ideas of Randy Jackson, and the baby movie to end all baby movies.

President Obama will give a speech on Afghanistan tonight, and the Times is reporting on the troop drawdown numbers he's settled on: 10,000 out by the end of the year and an additional 20,000 by September 2012.

Among the many highlights of former Dior designer John Galliano's trial today in Paris—the recounting of his wild anti-Semitic night, his apology and admission that he was drinking heavily and taking Valium "like candy," his hot lawyer—the most memorable was his outfit. Just look at it!

Police have released the findings from their investigation into the violent, fiery death by car crash of Jackass star Ryan Dunn and passenger Zachary Hartwell: Dunn, who was driving, had a blood alcohol content was 0.196, more than double Pennsylvania's legal limit of 0.08. His Porsche was traveling between 132 and 140MPH at the time of the crash. [TMZ, image via Getty]

Demographic data indicates that black people are leaving New York for the South in droves, as the historic "Great Migration" of African-Americans from South to North slowly reverses itself. The city of Atlanta now stands as America's new Black Mecca.

Wimbledon, the sacred summertime rite celebrating tennis' best and brightest, is once again upon us. But an ominous shadow darkens the crisp white shorts of the world's oldest tennis tournament: women making too much noise when hitting the ball. [Jezebel]

Hey guys, I have a secret for you: Chris Brown is an awful person. Crazy, right? The singer's latest faux pas took the form of a gay slur.

Lock up your testicles. Octomom Nadya Suleman is on the prowl and bringing her love life into your living room, via a dating show on world's randomest cable network HDNet.

Assless chaps."Full-on rager" partying. A Fire Department intervention. Peter Thiel's hedge fund might have cratered, but the objectivist Republican's private life is rocking.

The creator of the 90s pop culture supercut we all adored last month is back at it again, this time with with many more video clips that commenters (like you guys!) pointed out had been omitted.

It would seem natural, given America's many current, profound problems that need to be resolved to avoid its total destruction, that more people nowadays would view federal investigators and their coordinated SWAT teams equipped with auctioned-off military weapons chasing around pot dealers as a waste of limited government resources.

If you haven't checked in with Justin Bieber recently, he's still the No. 1 cherubic bionic pop robot in the land. But challengers crowd the base of Heartthrob Mountain. Totally lame challengers.

As the story goes, an inebriated John Krasinski and Jason Segel crashed a bachelorette party in Ann Arbor, Michigan last night. TMZ has video of the pair singing "Brown Eyed Girl" with the lucky bride-to-be and a sex doll, but we're pretty taken with their performance of Joe Cocker's "A Little Help With My Friends." And damn if we don't love watching drunk celebrities sing songs together.

If your mother calls tonight, it's probably to express her glee that George Clooney has split up with his girlfriend of two years, Italian actress Elisabetta Canalis. He is one again a confirmed bachelor. (No, not like that.) But let's take a moment to look back at the good ol' days, shall we?

[Photo via Getty Images]

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! This week: What's Lindsay been watching on TV, what kind of roses will Kim Kardashian have at her wedding, and what Ashton and Jake looked like before cosmetic surgery. [Jezebel]

Did you know that spending too much time looking down at your Blackberry and texting is going to give your neck ugly and unsightly wrinkles? It's true! It's called Blackberry Neck. Says who? Well, the lady who came up with the treatment to fight Blackberry Neck.

In your self-important Wednesday media column: Bill Keller's opinions on the internet are neverending, the New York Post gets more expensive, Salon's CEO resigns, Brian Lam moves to the ocean, and Poetry magazine successfully spends lots of money.

Last week we all scratched our heads (or some of us scratched our heads) wondering what this new Harry Potter-related website "Pottermore" might be. It seems we now have an answer?