A civic-minded Sarah Palin got a little Twain-y on Facebook to explain why she's taking a break from Tour de Grift. In a post titled *Sigh* Reports of Tour Demise Are Greatly Exaggerated, she writes, in part: "The coming weeks are tight because civic duty calls (like most everyone else, even former governors get called up for jury duty) and I look forward to doing my part just like every other Alaskan." That's so good and American of her to step up for jury duty. Maybe she even pays her taxes and votes, too?

The co-founder of Thrasher magazine, Eric Swenson, committed suicide on Monday in front of a police station in San Francisco. Swenson also co-founded Independent Trucks and Spitfire wheels, and he helped to create High Speed Productions Inc, which publishes Thrasher, Slap, and Juxtapoz magazines. In a statement on its website, Thrasher wrote, "Never one to clamor for the spotlight, he preferred the hard work, orchestrating the show from behind the scenes." He was 64.

The results of a new study in the New England Journal of Medicine about weight loss will blow your mind. By analyzing the eating and exercise habits of 120,877 people over many years, doctors have concluded that downing a whole bag of potato chips makes you fat faster than just about anything else, ice cream and soda included.

New age "guru" and friend of Oprah, James A. Ray — who charged people $10,000 to enter his Arizona sweat lodge of death, resulting in the deaths of three people in 2009 — was found guilty of negligent homicide yesterday.

Border collies are known for their innate ability to herd sheep—in many cases, they're bred specifically for that purpose. Which is why this video of a four-year-old border collie named Ci, whose owner calls him "the worst sheepdog in Britain" since he's afraid of sheep, is so funny/sad. But mostly funny. [Telegraph via Fark]

In a rare astronomical convergence, two massive celestial bodies will pass through Manhattan on Thursday. One has the moves of Michael Jackson, a megawatt smile, and has to duck teenage girls' panties wherever he goes. The other is Justin Bieber. But don't plan on getting into, out of, or anywhere around the city in anything besides a subway car: traffic will be a bitch.

Any news story about a fatality on the Great White Way should instantly bring to mind everyone's favorite web slinger, but while Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark has maimed many, it has yet to actually kill anyone. (And let's hope it stays that way.) But it's another musical — the far less death-defying revival of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying — that had to contend with the sad loss of a crew member on Wednesday night, just minutes before the curtain went up on its 100th performance.

Because he didn't seek the approval of Congress to continue military operations in Libya past the first 90 days, a defiant President Obama is now in danger of having the war stripped of its funding. Even so, Obama isn't budging, and on tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert commended him for "[telling] Congress to suck it."

Love is a weird thing: You never quite know when and where cupid's arrow might strike. Take, for example, the recent nuptials of Doug Hutchison, a 51-year-old actor best known for a recurring role on Lost, to (allegedly) 16-year-old Courtney Stodden. Stodden is an aspiring everything from Ocean Shores, Washington, an area of the country one reader colorfully describes for us as "a morbid, destitute shithole of a coastal village masquerading as some kind of 'tourist destination.'" (Stodden was Miss Ocean Shores 2009.)

Justin Bieber may never be overthrown as America's No. 1 teen idol, but that doesn't mean the singer isn't still capable of making cringeworthy television appearances. Take, for instance, Bieber's cameo on tonight's Late Show, during which he indifferently presented the "Top 10 Little-Known Facts About Justin Bieber" for an even more indifferent David Letterman.

Remember, remember the ... 21st of June? That's the day a 33-year-old fireworks tent employee from Orlando, Fl., went a little bonkers, detonating everything in the tent after an altercation with his pregnant girlfriend. His name is Guy Fowlkes.

James "Whitey" Bulger, the Boston crime boss who inspired Jack Nicholson's character in The Departed, was finally arrested in Santa Monica, of all places, after more than 15 years on the lam.

Last weekend, Sen. John McCain made headlines when he inexplicably accused illegal immigrants of starting the wildfires currently ravaging Arizona. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart pointed out the absurdity of McCain's statements before conducting an interview with a McCain puppet—yes, a real puppet—about all of the other horrible things illegal immigrants have done to him.

Lindsay Lohan is heading back to court on Thursday morning after testing positive for alcohol earlier this month, apparently following a "rooftop barbecue party" (pictured). On the "bright side," if such a thing can be said to exist, she tested negative for drugs, twice; either way, TMZ reports that the probation department—currently "ticked that Lindsay is having parties while under house arrest"—will ask the judge to put Lohan back in jail. [TMZ; image via Splash]

Georgia's harsh anti-illegal immigration law was signed into law in May by Gov. Nathan Deal. Can you smell the patriotism in the air? It smells like rotting vegetables:

Two and a half months after his imprisonment on charges of tax evasion, internationally-renowned artist Ai Weiwei was released by Chinese authorities because (according to state news agency Xinhua) "of his good attitude in confessing his crimes as well as a chronic disease he suffers from" (likely diabetes or hypertension).

It's over. Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss have finally—finally!—given up the legal war that earned them $100 million, that shamed the founder of Facebook, and that spawned an Oscar-winning movie.

Say what you will about Tom MacMaster, the married American grad student who pretended to be a kidnapped Syrian lesbian on the internet—at least he started his horrible fake blog to create (as he put it) "an important voice for issues that I feel strongly about." Well, that, and to cash in on a memoir written from the point of view of his alter ego, which he was shopping around in May.

Hulu has put itself up for sale, moving to end the grand alliance between the broadcasters who own the TV website and provide it with shows. This is really going to suck.

A Southwest Airlines pilot has been suspended after he accidentally broadcast his conversation about the "fags" and "grannies" that he works with as flight attendants. This man should really never be allowed to fly a plane again.