Realizing they could never rely on Hollywood to produce fair and balanced depictions of their skewed and whitewashed spin on U.S. history (you can take your radical lefty agenda and choke on it, HBO's John Adams!), the Tea Party has taken it upon themselves to produce their own damn TV show, thank you very much.

New reality shows pop up all the time. Given the number of participants involved, it's not surprising that some reality TV subjects would be connected to the adult film industry. But it's much more common than one would think. [Jezebel]

What should have been just another interminable conversation between two mind-boggling A-holes took an intriguing turn down Rainbow Alley last night, when Fox News host (and self-loathing Gleek) Glenn Beck accidentally blurted out, "I could kiss you in the mouth" to Rick Santorum on Thursday's show. (It was in response to Santorum saying that he'd signed the "Cut, Cap and Balance" pledge, which is apparently the fiscal conservative equivalent of announcing, "I just scored a pair of Lady Gaga floor seats!")

Firefighters rushed to Courtney Love's $27,000-a-month West Village town house early Thursday morning, after an emergency call was placed to 911 saying a fire had broken out, the Times reports.

Our videogame-obsessed colleagues at Kotaku have imported the cult Japanese TV series Retro Game Master to the U.S. for the first time. You'll find the first episode, which made its debut this evening, here. [Kotaku]

MySpace is shunned even by its parents. Founder Tom Anderson hasn't updated his status in more than a year, while founder Chris DeWolfe "cringes" during his rare visits. Forget finding a buyer; MySpace would have trouble just getting adopted.

Today we heard the zany story of a university president, a pimping professor, and a hooker named Krispi Kreme. Good story! But why are these people in trouble? That's ridiculous, says one commenter.

Sean Parker's cocaine arrest is no secret. But the former Facebook president—who was played by Justin Timberlake in The Social Network—once had a wide range of addictions, he told Jimmy Fallon at a technology conference.

After years of oppression, rich people in LA are at last going to get the treatment they deserve. Also today: Superman has a new mom, Game of Thrones has a new queen, David O. Russell likes lookin' at the ladies, and some Good Wife news.

When most people go on vacation, they forget about their workout routines and restrictive diets. Not Michelle Obama. She is, once again, advocating for children to exercise, this time on her trip to South Africa. How does she do it and never break a sweat?

Last night, David Laffer and his wife Melinda Brady were charged with gunning down four people at a Long Island pharmacy. It turns out Brady had been posting to a wedding discussion forum, detailing her use of prescription painkillers. [Jezebel]

Apple is becoming a major diplomatic player. The company agreed to remove an iPhone app devoted to Palestinian insurrection, eliciting praise for "swift action" from Israel's public diplomacy minister. This sort of app removal is going to get tricky.

Congressmen and Senators may be having some trouble with their debt ceiling negotiations today — specifically, Republicans keep walking away of them — but that's not really important. Who cares about "bonds"? Especially today, on Seersucker Thursday!

Last week, three tourists watching a staged "Old West"-style gunfight in the South Dakota tourist town of Hill City were shot. Like, actually shot! One of those victims was Carrol Knutson, a visitor from Minnesota. And if there's one thing Carrol Knutson knows, it's this: she was shot by a god damn bullet. "Hospital staff told her a bullet shattered her fibula," for one thing. So she just, you know, came to that conclusion. Whoa there, little lady!

A second allegedly pimping professor has emerged in the case against David Flory, the physics professor arrested for running "virtual house of prostitution" Southwest Companions. Flory operated the escort database as a "hobby," and says he didn't profit from it.

During an event celebrating the launch of his new perfume at Macy's in Herald Square in New York, Justin Bieber was attacked by a crazed fan. Trouble in Teenland! The video above apparently shows the attack.

It's been difficult to follow the developments this week in the fight for same-sex marriage in New York. Someone on Twitter says "EXCLUSIVE: VOTE HAPPENING TONIGHT," and then five minutes later, "UPDATE: NO VOTE EVER." So let's try to make some sense of what's happening.

Huguette Clark, the reclusive copper heiress who recently died at 104, left most of her $400 million estate to a new charity to promote the arts and to her nurse and friend, Hadassah Peri, according to the will filed yesterday in New York. Well, hello nurse!

In your humid Thursday media column: ridiculous WaPo Twitter uproar of the day, everybody's needlessly peeved at Jose Antonio Vargas, Gothamist is sponsoring long-form journalism, an editor flees New York mag, and the Village Voice could have itself a strike.

Google is famous for its lifestyle perks, including in some instances, fitness classes. But does the company actively discriminate against fat people? That's what on New York City woman is claiming. [Jezebel]