Here's the thing about dying in lava, which everyone seems to fuck up: You do not sink into like you're in a swimming pool (looking at you, Gollum from Lord of the Rings). You do not instantly melt into goo on contact (Volcano subway guy). Density and viscosity doesn't work that way. Just let Wired explain to you the right way to die in lava.
Think about it, a little more: Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich. Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich. Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich. It wasn't the best year for recruiters of Republican presidential candidates. And now that the deadline has passed in most early states to get on the primary ballot, there's no chance for anyone else to jump in. Unless the incompetent rich Republican donors "pull some strings," or whatever it is that the rich do in emergencies.
How do you even process the insane mess that was last night's Sectionals episode of Glee? Maybe I should ask a bunch of questions about it to try to unravel the mysteries? Would you guys mind?
Yesterday, several Huffington Post whistleblowers came forward to describe boss Arianna Huffington talking on the phone while going to the bathroom. Today, two new whistleblowers describe overheard power-shitting sessions, this time involving the White House Correspondents Dinner and daughter Isabella's matriculation at Yale.
It's a big, wide, webbed world out there, and for you smartphoners out there who want a lightning fast machine with unlimited data, you can finally have it all—if you know where to look. So to celebrate T-Mobile's release of its two speediest 4G smartphones ever, the Samsung Galaxy S II and the HTC Amaze 4G—both of which are capable of streaming TV and movies faster than home internet on their nationwide 4G network—and their best rate plan ever: unlimited data, talk & text for $49.99 each line per month, we've teamed up with America's Largest 4G Network to bring you a little something we like to call The Best Stuff Ever Series.
Shohn Huckabee is a 24 year-old Texas man who was arrested during a trip to Mexico in 2009, charged with drug trafficking, and given a five year prison sentence. He says that he was innocent, tortured by police and set up. His case became a cause celebre for activists, and he's finally been released after serving more than two years in Mexican prison.
Last week Grub Street noticed that Graydon Carter, the Vanity Fair editor with a knack for reviving classic New York restaurants, was on the liquor license application for the new restaurant going into the former Beatrice Inn space. His wife Anna Carter confirmed his involvement to Eater this week, and yesterday the Beatrice's principal owner Emil Varda got on the line to share the details.
Back in the halycon days called "the 1990s," you could beat up a man, rip the expensive athletic shoes off his feet, and carry your lace-up trophies away without being caught. No iPhones, no problems. No more!
It's the 70th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, and across the internet, the right wing is commemorating this world-historical event the only way it knows how: by insinuating bizarre things about the Obamas.
There is nothing more amusing on a Wednesday morning than to read some of the New York Observer's voluminous, fawning Occupy Wall Street coverage, and then immediately afterwards read the paper's invariably horrific in-house editorial of the week, which is dictated from on high by the paper's owner, millionaire real estate scion and Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner, whose silver spoon gives him divine guidance on the issues of the day.
This comedian's wife is bedding down with her husband's celebrity best friend who is married to a famous TV host. This couple is back together because she's pregnant and the cast of this show just can't get along. Maybe they should try some spouse swapping?
Rachelle Grimmer, a 38 year old mother of two in Texas, had been trying to qualify for food stamps "for months" without success. On Monday, she went to a Laredo welfare office with her kids and a gun. After a seven-hour standoff, she killed herself and shot both of her children, who are now in critical condition.
Yesterday, we noted that financial professionals make horrible boyfriends. But they're not always horrible in the sense that they might follow you across the Atlantic ocean and leave a tracking device in your bag—sometimes they're horrible in the sense that they send you 1,600-word emails asking why you haven't called them back after one date.
Yesterday we told you that India was considering allowing evil box of doom Wal-Mart to open retail outlets in its cities, thereby destroying them. But having read our foreboding listicle of warning, the government has reconsidered. Even Wal-Mart's opponents are outraged at how ineptly the issue has been handled, politically!
