Five-Year Engagement, starring Muppet Maestro Jason Segal and once-Adjusted Emily Blunt, is about a mildly attractive yet totally endearing pair who, yep, get engaged. And you will never believe how long the engagement lasts! (The engagement lasts for five years.)

Today we learned that some Mormons are prudes, particularly those wrathful BYU co-eds fighting tooth and nail to keep skinny jeans illegal. Perhaps it isn't a moral thing, but actually a Freshman Fifteen thing that has them tossing their denim onto a smoldering ban fire. One commenter sets the scene for us with some BYU fanfic.

NBC suits have restricted The Roots drummer Questlove's freedom to pick songs for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon after he selected "Lyin' Ass Bitch" to introduce Michele Bachmann. He must now "clear every song with three different NBC execs."

Priscilla Chan has always taken her relationship with Mark Zuckerberg seriously; she famously sealed a contract of dating rules before moving to be near him in California. But the medical school student just got more serious than ever before, listing Zuckerberg as her "partner" on Facebook - and adopting Zuck's mother as her own.

News anchor Annie Stensrud of KEYC-TV Mankato, Minn., had some trouble getting through her broadcast on Sunday. Like, could-barely-get-through-a-sentence, slurring-every-third-word trouble. I figured she was drunk, until someone reminded me that most Minnesotans talk funny and have difficulty forming simple thoughts, and that Stensrud's inner Lena was coming out. The most likely scenario, to be honest, is that she's both drunk and Minnesotan, which is a fairly common state of affairs in Minnesota. [via HuffPo]

The inquisitive users of Quora—the social networking equivalent of a 2-year-old who keeps asking "Why?"—have put their minds together to answer a burning question from the most gentle person ever to use an internet message board: "If you injure a bug, should you kill it or let it live?"

It turns out that Newt Gingrich has been annoying the public with his many trillion half-baked ideas — remember that he is, fundamentally, an Ideas Man, in the fundamental sense — since 1954. He was an 11-year-old boy, and he and his "buddies" had a grand vision: to throw some animals in a park and call it a zoo.

Congratulations to brittle newsmatron Barbara Walters on landing a blockbuster exclusive with Syrian madman Bashar Al Assad, who is responsible for the wanton murder of 4,000 of his own men, women, and children. Or as Walters put it, a "mild-mannered ophthalmologist." It's time for her to go.

Try not to tear up when reading this interview with Joe and Jane Clementi in People magazine. The parents of the New Jersey teen—who killed himself earlier this year after his roommate broadcast him and a partner having sex in their dorm room over the internet—are finally speaking out, and it's heartbreaking.

Last month, the hapless investment firm that had purchased the San Diego Union-Tribune in 2009, thinking its value would appreciate (ha), found a sucker buyer: San Diego businessman Doug Manchester, who reportedly paid more than $110 million.

Alec Baldwin was kicked off his American Airlines flight yesterday for playing an iPhone game, (or throwing a big baby temper tantrum, depending on who you ask). This had us wondering, which airlines are strictest about enforcing their dumb inflight electronics rules?

Lindsay Lohan will preview her Playboy pictorial on Ellen DeGeneres' talk show next week—and in the meantime, images from "very classy" "boobs, ass, and vag" photo shoot are starting to surface. A handful of gossip sites ran a photograph of the purported magazine this afternoon, featuring a honey-blonde LiLo naked and spread eagle on a bunny-shaped chair.

There's a Reddit campaign underway to build the world's preeminent educational, gay-porn based, public service website. Maybe the world's only such website! And all in the service of a noble goal: Sticking it to the virulently homophobic Westboro Baptist Church. Are you ready to join the cause?

I'm sorry, but I never understood the appeal of The Three Stooges (outside of animated guest appearances on Scooby-Doo) and I don't at all understand why some brilliant sonofabitch in Hollywood thought it was a good idea to bring them back. It's the same joke over and over again for two hours!

Here's the ten millionth consecutive miserable Rick Perry ad to run in Iowa, titled "Strong." Let's make fun of it line by line, shall we?

After 30 years of "Free Mumia" signs, t-shirts and bumper stickers being omnipresent at every single even vaguely left-leaning rally, the state of Pennsylvania has announced that it will no longer seek the death penalty against the journalist and former Black Panther, who was convicted of killing a Philadelphia police officer in 1981.

Sugar cereal! Plan B! Nocturnal diabetes! Elderly presidents! Breast cancer! Parkinson's dancing! Bedbug breeding! Marathon hearts! And America's most and least healthy states, revealed! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—grrrrreatly!

We found out yesterday that Discovery's Mythbusters is one of Republicans favorite shows. Today we find out that the show shot a cannonball through a California neighborhood causing wanton destruction. No wonder the GOP loves it so much!

Following yesterday's report about BYU-Idaho had banned skinny jeans, officials at the Mormon university overturned the ban. But skinny-jeans-gate isn't over! Intrepid student journalists are on the case, reporting that rogue prudes within the University hierachy fought to keep skinny jeans out—possibly discriminating against the "curvy"—before they were overruled.

There is no better way to ruin someone's holiday than to arm their children with the tools to endlessly annoy them. Here are some suggestions.