A Stevie Wonder fan in China thought he was being clever when he asked a friend to box him up and ship him via courier service to his girlfriend's office as a romantic joke.

If, like the man above, you choose to stride along a public beach wearing your basic brown banana-hammock, just do it with the same level of swag. He doesn't care that his spare tire is gleaming in the late-summer sunshine, nor that his body hair creates a halo around his creatively toned muscles. And he's obviously down with those sunglasses that were purchased at a Taos gas station sometime during the hazy summer of 1981.

When the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce wrapped up quickly, quietly, and without much fuss, the Internet, unexpectedly starved for blood, became weak and irritable.

In response to a question about what constitutes must-watch TV for her, Ann Romney told Entertainment Tonight that ABC's Modern Family topped her list of highly anticipated TV shows.

"We're just like everyone else!" proclaim 22-year-old conjoined twins Abby and Brittany Hensel during the intro to their TLC show, Abby & Brittany, which premiered in back-to-back 30-minute episodes last night.

An elementary school math teacher from Atlanta was fired from her job after she allegedly provided students with answers during a test she was supervising.

You can't really appreciate the extent to which politicians are actors until you're seated in a shitty press seat at a political convention that does not give you a direct view of the stage, but which does give you a view of a huge TV screen showing the politician speak and, simultaneously, a view of the teleprompter from which they're reading. In this position, every dramatic pause, every glowing smile, every instance of pointy-finger and raised voice and shaken head can be seen for what it really is: an actor, reading lines, trying to get the part.

Hundreds of residents had to be evacuated from the center of Munich last night after German authorities were unable to defuse a 550lb. WWII-era bomb found buried a few feet underground.

Happy Birthday to Courtney Stodden. A child-bride no more, she is 18 today. Doug gave her a small dog...named DOURTNEY.

Hollywood's world-famous Chateau Marmont has played second home to a host of notably rowdy celebrity guests since it opened to the deep-pocketed public in 1927, but leave it to Lindsay Lohan to be the first among them to get the boot.

Christopher Bridgeman and Martin Borger, a gay couple from Virginia, are suing United/Continental Airlines for "intentional infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy, and negligence" after airline employees allegedly removed a dildo from their luggage, covered it in "greasy foul-smelling" lubricant, taped it to the top of the bag, and then sent it around the baggage carousel for all to see.

Members of the Burleigh Point Outrigger Canoe Club were paddling across Tallebudgera Creek on Australia's Gold Coast, when they encountered a koala splashing in the water.

According to No Easy Day, the new book by Navy SEAL Matt Bissonnette (writing under the pseudonym "Mark Owen"), Osama Bin Laden was unarmed when he was shot — and many of the initial accounts of the raid that killed him were wrong.

In a fit of Oprah-channeling enthusiasm, Ann Romney went off-script tonight and told the RNC crowd "I love you, womennnnn." And I bet that's true. Of course, she didn't mention this, this, this, or this, but it's a long campaign season; I'm sure she'll get around to it eventually.

Rick Santorum is still talking on national television. Tonight, during the Republican National Convention, he decided to talk about hands. But not just any hands. He talked about his father's hands, his daughter's hands. Poor hands. Weathered hands. Old hands. Young hands. But what about dude's hands that hold other dude's hands, Rick? What about those hands?

Someone attending the Republican National Convention allegedly threw peanuts a black camerawoman for CNN and said, "This is how we feed animals," according to Talking Points Memo. The nut thrower was then escorted from the convention.

Eddie Murphy is working with Shawn Ryan to turn Beverly Hills Cop into a TV show. Maybe it won't be terrible?

Up to a point, Joshua Shelton had a normal Friday night this weekend. The 21 year-old got drunk and passed out in a shack wearing only a t-shirt and his boxers, soaked in his own urine. Who hasn't done that before? Well, the point that separates Shelton's night from yours or mine was that when he woke up, a Wicomico County Sheriff's deputy was there to inform him he'd murdered 70,000 chickens overnight.

Seagulls in Argentina have changed from your standard beach pests into whale killing monsters, or so say Argentine authorities. It appears seagulls there have taken to pecking tiny bits of flesh from the backs of southern right whales as they surface for air, which naturally hurts the whales but, more importanly, hurts the whale watching industry in the area. As the AP put it, the seagull attacks are damaging the "region's tourism industry as well, by turning whale-watching from a magical experience into something sad and gruesome." Local tourist officials agree.

It turns our Lindsay Lohan won't be prosecuted for that jewelry heist, proving she really can get away with anything.