Gwyneth Paltrow gets pulled over by the NYPD. Heidi Montag works out 14 hours a day and has "shooting pains" in her breasts. Beyonce's mother is a diva. A new Miss USA is crowned. Monday gossip fought the law.

  • On her way to a surprise appearance at Glee! Live, Gwyneth Paltrow got pulled over by the cops. "Oops. Busted by New York's finest," she tweeted from her driver's side seat. Probably the cop just wanted to ask about that delicious homemade ricotta recipe he read in GOOP. Just because they carry guns doesn't mean they're brutes. [P6, @GwynethPaltrow, images via Bauer-Griffin and @GwynethPaltrow]
  • Jackass star Ryan Dunn died in a car crash early this morning. Few details are known about the circumstances of the crash, but there was another person with him, and the charred wreckage looks pretty awful. According to TMZ, Dunn was famous for "shoving a toy car into his rectum... in 2002." Rest in peace. [TMZ]
  • A new Miss USA has been crowned: California's Alyssa Campanella will now resolve the debt ceiling and negotiate Medicare reform, before going undercover in Yemen to root out terrorist cells. Such a patriot, glad we elected her. [People]
  • Here's how Amy Winehouse started her trainwreck, career-stalling concert Belgrade: "Hello, Athens." [People]
  • Lady Gaga's new bestie is Slovenian neo-Marxist postmodern philosopher-doomsayer Slavoj Zizek. Of course. [P6]
  • Justin Bieber performed two songs at manager Scooter Braun's birthday party. You'd think Scooter would be sick of Bieber's songs by now? As a birthday present, Bieber booked M.C. Hammer, who performed one song. [P6]
  • Beyonce's mother "has more of a diva attitude" than she does, because Mrs. Knowles makes people call her "Miss Tina" and once "flipped out on the camera guys for making Beyonce stand near the extras for too long." Please, you call that diva behavior? That barely qualifies as "stage mom." [Gatecrasher]
  • Michael Bay says he didn't fire Megan Fox from Transformers for being a feminist. Steven Spielberg fired Megan Fox for "the Hitler thing." Ooh. [DailyMail]
  • Heidi Montag works out 14 hours a day to maintain her Barbie doll body. Why not just pop the head off and stick it on a new one? She also gets "shooting pains" in her breasts. [Us]
  • Speaking of interchangeable body Barbie dolls, Holly Madison is still mad at Crystal Harris for dumping mutual ex-sugar daddy Hugh Hefner, then reveling in the fame. She used the words "low," "disgusting," and "tacky" to describe Crystal's betrayal. "Hard times show your real friends," Crystal tweeted. "No they show HEF's real friends," Holly tweeted back. Obviously, the only way to resolve this conflict is a jell-o wrestling match at the Playboy mansion. [Us]
  • Paris Hilton on why she used to be so skinny: "I'd been to everyone incredible part in the world. But I was going out with my girlfriends and dancing, having a lot of coffee and Red Bull. Being on the go, I would just grab fast food or skip meals because I was busy." Is "Red Bull" Hollywood for "cocaine"? [People]
  • Khloe Kardashian threw Kim an engagement party. "It was really fun." [Us]
  • Nick Cannon says motherhood is "eye-opening" for Mariah Carey. Just once, I'd like to see someone say motherhood is a boring load of crap. [People]