Charlie Sheen has a nice meal while the LAPD searches his house for firearms. Ashlee Simpson rebounds with her husband's friend. Monica Lewinsky is "still in love" with Bill. TGIFriday gossip.

  • The LAPD raided Charlie Sheen's house around 10PM PST last night, and everyone thought it was for a 5150 involuntary psychiatric hold (that's how Britney's hospitalization started) but it was actually a search for firearms and ammunition, which Charlie can't have according to battered ex-wife Brooke Mueller's restraining order against him. While the cops searched the premises, Charlie and the goddesses sat at a table in the backyard eating a reported meal of hamburgers in the dark. (The above image comes from KTLA's news chopper footage. Yes, on the same night hundreds died in a devastating earthquake in Japan, an L.A. news station broadcast footage of Charlie Sheen eating a hamburger in the dark. And yes, I too pulled up a chair to this surreal feast of shame and created a screenshot for your viewing pleasure.) After the police left, Charlie tweeted, "#fastball; the LAPD were AWESOME. Absolute pros! they can protect and serve this Warlock anytime!!!" and "50 cops in my home. they all left. i'm still here. WINNING? 24/7." The cops found an antique rifle and some bullets; they haven't figured out whether or not that violates the restraining order. [TMZ, KTLA, People, @CharlieSheen, @CharlieSheen, images via Getty and KTLA]
  • Jane Fonda is a pothead, and toked up at the Vanity Fair Oscars party. Who's the Easy Rider now, huh? [Celebitchy]
  • Lindsay Lohan has been granted two weeks to decide whether or not she'll take a plea deal, the terms of which the judge announced would be kept confidential, but TMZ says someone already leaked it, and it's three months in jail. If you ever want to destroy someone, convince TMZ your enemy is a celebrity, and they will dig up every personal detail you never even realized mattered about that person. [TMZ]
  • If you missed it last night: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel finally split. We all saw that one coming, albeit with varying degrees of accuracy. [Gawker]
  • Ashlee Simpson's rebound relationship: Craig Owens of a band called D.R.U.G.S., and a bosom buddy of Ashlee's soon-to-be ex-husband Pete Wentz. Juiciest scandal about people you don't care about! Ever! [InTouch]

"New" "leaked" photos of Miley Cyrus in her underwear under-deliver: These iPhone panty pics are from the set of a music video where Miley's wardrobe consisted of underwear. As in, this is the exact same outfit she wears in the music video. Calling this a sexy Miley scandal is like seeing a video of Lady Gaga walking down the street with no pants, and calling it a sex tape! I hold my sex scandals to higher standards, thankyouverymuch. [HollywoodLife]

  • Sandra Bullock is "terrified" that Jesse James' forthcoming memoir will reveal that "she's not only bad in bed—but a lesbian!" Imaginary Sandra Bullock is a quivering, tear-sopped mess, especially because she thinks the lesbian revelation will coincide the release of the heterosexual sex tape that the real Sandra has repeatedly, flatly denied exists. I can't decide if I like imaginary Sandra or real Sandra better. Imaginary Sandra would be more fun at a party, but it's probably for the best that real Sandra is the one who actually exists, is responsible for the welfare of a child, etc. [Enquirer, Celebitchy]
  • Jessica Alba had a DIY baby shower and posted the pictures on Facebook. Here she is with a wreath of construction paper butterflies. Whatever, she probably had an 8-tier cake made of edible gold and diamond dust wheeled out as soon as they were done taking these pictures. [Facebook]
  • "Monica Lewinsky hasn't gotten over Bill and would take him back in a second." What a blast from the past! It's nice to check in with old friends, and see how the press is still insulting a sexual harassment victim's weight and sex life 15 years after the fact. [Enquirer]
  • Tony Danza is divorcing his wife of 24 years due to "irreconcilable differences." They have been separated since 2006 and have two adult children. [TMZ]
  • Matthew McConaughey wanted to be a lawyer, but worried that law school was going to take too long, so he took the easy route and became a perpetually shirtless hunk, instead. [AH]
  • Martha Stewart is a granny: Most bitter daughter in America Alexis Stewart had a girl via gestational carrier, and named her Jude. May their glorious cycle of mommy issues continue, ad infinitum. [People]