America's ugly duckling, Jessica Plain and Tall, has finally given herself the gift of acceptance:

Naked hot tub ladies describe their tryst with Ashton Kutcher. Willow Smith collaborates with Nicki Minaj. Jennifer Aniston says there is "no desperation" in her life. Michelle Pfeiffer thinks plastic surgery is "sad." Thursday gossip kisses and tells.

We saw a great many special things last night on MTV's Video Music Awards, but the highlight of the evening came at the end of Beyonce's performance of "Love on Top," when she opened her blazer and revealed her baby bump.

Tara Reid married one of her rich boyfriends, but even her publicist isn't sure which one. Jessica Alba gives birth to a daughter named "Haven." Kate Hudson debuts baby "Bing." Julian Schnabel attacks his ex. Monday gossip is updated.

As the gossip hurricane rages on, Maria Shriver stands brave and resolute with her friend Oprah. Meanwhile, the Grammers are having a custody dispute, a Tiger Woods mistress is telling stories, and Kirk Cameron is not Stephen Hawking.

Chris Brown explains the emergence of a naked self-portrait: "Girls be reckless." Lindsay Lohan goes clubbing in New York. For the price of 15 minutes with a high-end hooker, you can now meet Charlie Sheen. TGIFriday gossip.

It seems every other week brings news of some, usually female, celebrity's Twitter or Facebook page being taken over by hackers. It's possible they were all perpetrated by the same individual(s). According to TMZ, 50 celebrities have been targeted by a "hacking ring," which has broken into their computers and cell phones and stolen embarrassing pictures and videos. Scarlett Johansson supposedly had a nude picture stolen from her iPhone and Vanessa Hudgens met with the FBI yesterday over her own leaked nudes, according to TMZ.

Charlie Sheen has a nice meal while the LAPD searches his house for firearms. Ashlee Simpson rebounds with her husband's friend. Monica Lewinsky is "still in love" with Bill. TGIFriday gossip.

Paris Hilton's birthday gift cost more than your house. Charlie Sheen lectures Lindsay Lohan on "impulse control." Jessica Alba is pregnant again. Thursday gossip likes the cars that go boom.

[Jessica Alba and Husband Cash Warren go Grocery Shopping at a Whole Foods in Brentwood, CA. Image via Splash]

SNL debuted "I Just Had Sex" on Saturday, the first single from The Lonely Island's forthcoming album. The anthem is a celebration of putting your penis in somebody and features cameos from John McEnroe, Jessica Alba, and Blake Lively!

This morning on Live with Regis & Kelly, Jessica Alba came on to promote her role in the new film "Little Fockers." Regis showed particular interest in her character's line of work: erection medication sales.

Britney and Jamie Lynn give thanks for french fries. "Kim Kardashian is dead," but it's only a publicity stunt. Portia de Rossi walks all over Ricky Martin. Monday gossip is sick of leftover turkey.

Sorry, no nude Emma Watson pics. Is The Situation's brother riding on his coattails? Lily Allen's in the hospital and Danielle Staub is dating a dude and a woman at the same time. Sunday Gossip Roundup does not disappoint.

The actress says some very dumb things about screenwriters, who give her work. Also today: Is Robert Pattinson going to propose? LeAnn Rimes calls in sick with a case of "Husband Stealeritis." And Kate Gosselin has a productive Halloween.

A miracle of technology has allowed us to see Jessica Alba naked, even though she swore never to go nude in a movie: She filmed a Machete shower scene in her undies, which retouchers later peeled off, with computers.

James Franco poses for a transvestite magazine. Kim Kardashian is "down for some hookups." Michael Lohan tries to visit Lindsay and gets rejected. Freak escalator accident nearly kills Bruce Willis. Wednesday gossip is full of surprises.

Tim Gunn calls Taylor Momsen "sad" and "pathetic." Jodie Foster avoids assault charges. Leonardo DiCaprio buys a pet that will live for 70 years. Chris Brown doesn't tip. Has Wednesday gossip gone too far, yet?

To prove she is a natural human, an aging actress must post flawed pictures online. Montana Fishburne faces criminal charges for beating up her boyfriend's ex. Kelsey Grammer's flight attendant girlfriend is pregnant. Thursday gossip contains the circle of life.

Here's a trailer for Little Fockers, the threequel in the epic and groundbreaking Meet the Parents triology. We are in the future, Ben Stiller and his wife have kids, and Bob De Niro is still doing his comedy thing.