Nobody says no to Martha Stewart—not even Hillary Clinton.

Martha Stewart already had her vote taken away once, when the state of New York sentenced her to five months in prison for insider trading. This week it may have happened again.

“So many of you have commented on how much you enjoy seeing photos of my pets. Most recently, I was asked to share an update on my beautiful cats, my seal point Himalayan, Bartok, and my dominant calico Persians, Princess Peony and Empress Tang. As you will see, all three cats are doing very well, and are enjoying this transition to cooler autumn weather.”

Martha Stewart, the seasoned, meticulous lifestyle expert who once spent five months in jail for lying to federal investigators, does not appreciate human Pilates machine Gwyneth Paltrow's contributions to the lifestyle expert economy. In September, she told Gwyn to "be quiet" and stick to acting.

Martha Stewart shared a stunning, easy, one-step life recipe in Net-a-Porter's Porter magazine for Goop founder Gwyneth Paltrow and other actresses who might want to venture into lifestyle blogging: shut up.

Martha Stewart, a "curious, inquisitive, experimental entrepreneur who cares about the world we live in" cares a lot about one thing in particular: her drone. Drones are her "thing" now. Drones are trending:

On Monday, Martha Stewart posted a bunch of pictures of a bloody, crumbling horse tooth on her personal blog. Thursday afternoon, while hosting an Ask Me Anything session on Reddit, she offered fans a couple freak-nasty sex tips and mused about the day she will purchase (or steal?) her first dildo.

On Monday, America's most famous Type A personality typed a grim little proposition into the Twitter client of her choosing, beckoning her public to follow her to a second blog location like a shirtless man with dirty teeth beckons lost travelers behind his privately-owned service station to show them "some crazy shit."

On Thursday, the New York Times published an intriguing firsthand account of the daily beauty routine of cream-colored lady Martha Stewart who, at 72, is better preserved than the contents of specimen jars gathering dust on shelves in walk-in pantries and anatomy laboratoria around the country.

The people of Boston are currently holed up in their homes as authorities canvas the area for a suspect considered "armed and extremely dangerous." Meanwhile, Martha Stewart is working frantically to protect her grandchildren from an even more sinister enemy: flowers.

Like it has so many of you, Blake Lively's wedding to Canada's sweetheart Guy That Canada Wrought Ryan Reynolds has affected me personally in innumerable ways.

In your trippin Tuesday media column: post-pullout Iraq media plans, Dylan Byers to Politico, Harvey Levin lectures, a Bloomberg discrimination lawsuit, and rumors of layoffs at Martha Stewart Living.

Alexis Stewart drops a bombshell: She has seen her mother pee, and it was disturbing. Elizabeth Hurley gets engaged. James Marsden gets divorced. Joseph Gordon-Levitt ruminates on the relative sexiness of slaves. Monday gossip has mommy issues.

Your favoritest and blondest celeb couple has called it quits. Alas, alack. Also today: Leighton Meester's love life heats up, Hugh Hefner's cools down, and Kristin Cavallari is very sad.

Here's a news broadcast from Denver that tells the harrowing tale of a family whose glass-top patio table from the Martha Stewart Living collection spontaneously exploded, showering them with glass. Horrifying! And not the first time this has happened.

This is an important question we are asking ourselves today: can Gwyneth Paltrow be stopped? The human-shaped collection of sunlight and feathers has already conquered the acting world, has become the nation's preeminent country-western-singer, and is now poised to take over the food industry. Her new cookbook, My Father's Daughter, is selling like gluten-free hotcakes and now the New York Post wonders if she could become the next Martha Stewart.

Here's another clip from Martha's upcoming special Men Who Make Us Laugh (see: Conan O'Brien relaxing in "ecstasy chairs.") Seth helps Martha with the farm chores, rides horses, and collects eggs from underneath a chicken.

Given that Martha had never been on Craig Ferguson's show, she couldn't help but comment on the little man painted in gold or the fake horse named Secretariat that they keep backstage.