A member of the Planet Fitness gym chain was captured eating pizza while lackadaisically doing some machine-assisted crunches this week. The purple-and-yellow purveyor of low-impact health gives away free pizza monthly to its members.

A pregnant South Carolina woman says she was asked to leave a Planet Fitness gym because her "belly was hanging out." Can all these outrageous Planet Fitness stories even be real? Burn it down either way.

The Navy SEALs who killed Osama bin Laden want $11 million from Uncle Sam for a state-of-the art workout center. Which isn't as much as it sounds like, really, I mean, it's not like they're a Texas high school football team or something.

Are you a member of the "Planet Fitness" gym chain? If so, we regret to inform you that your gym must be doused in gasoline and set alight immediately. Why? One poor, fit woman's tale should explain.

As part of a campaign to promote after-school fitness, Arnold Schwarzenegger went undercover at a gym earlier this year. No one recognized him... at least not at first.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

There I was, at the gym, the other day, sitting there, on a piece of gym equipment, in between sets, taking a short break, a moment's rest, a slight breather, if you will, and along comes this gym guy, looking all gym-y, wearing his gym clothes, with his gym attitude, and he walks right up to me just as bold as you please, in his gym shorts, and he's all, while I'm sitting there, he's all, "Can I work in?"

This New York Times article yesterday about a Manhattan gym that caters to billionaires and business titans contains this bit of braggadocio from one of the gym's members:

Sausage-addicted personal injury attorney Richard Katz is suing the Setai Club & Spa Wall Street over a complimentary breakfast that, in his estimation, has been in steady decline.

Anyone who works out at a gym with any regularity is familiar with the unspoken laws of the weight room jungle: Allow fellow gymgoers to "work in"; don't grunt like a horny ape upon exertion; and, most importantly, don't lift your shirt to nipple level and admire your own abdominals in the mirror for extended periods of time. It's all pretty common sense stuff, and for the most part, people abide by it, making the gym a pleasant experience for everyone. But then, of course, there are those who don't.

At the height of the Second World War, FDR gave a stirring radio address in which he reassured the American public that "no matter how dark the hour, we can take great comfort in knowing that an overpriced gym chain will eventually capitalize on it a decade later with some self-serving, bullshit coupon they damn well know no one will ever use." And what do you know? History has once again gone and repeated itself. Congrats, New York Sports Clubs! You are true patriots, through and through.

Today we looked at a dumb way to pick a personal trainer, an important issue here in the United States of Blubmerica. What do us Blubmericans need to do to look good? Well, stop relying on personal trainers, suggests one commenter.

News arrives today that fancy gym Equinox is instructing all of its personal trainers to spend the next few weeks getting in extra-good shape, because the company is about to start making them wear fancy new "form-fitting tops" that will be unflattering to anyone with a stray millimeter of body fat. This is fantastic news, because it will cause the vain rich people who go to Equinox to select their personal trainers on the dumbest possible criteria.

Cookie monsters! Fewer french fries! Cancer exercise! Lo-carb crapola! Dumb dieters! Daniel Baldwin's workout! Grip strength! Dip belts! Inspirational marathoners! And a NYSC dance instructor must be rehired at once! It's your Thursday Fitness Watch, where we watch fitness—feverishly!

Oh gosh, something to be concerned about: people now are just going to cheap gyms and working out and leaving, rather than indulging in the "community" of group classes and flirting and juice bars. Will gyms ever be annoying again?

It's January, and that means it's time for everyone to join a gym and then quickly stop going to the gym out of laziness, in a trend-story-friendly manner. What a goddamn waste of money. Below, ten methods for becoming hardcore.

Millennia-old, fitness-crazed pop singer Madonna has partnered up with some investors to open ultra-luxe Hard Candy gyms around the world, the first a 30,000 sq.ft. megaplex in Mexico City. Just what sets a Madonna gym apart from the rest?

Planet Fitness has cleverly released commercials poking fun at typical gym rats. They remind us a bit of the Old Spice Ads with Terry Crews, don't you agree? It's probably due to all the yelling and man-boob bouncing...

Fitness website Social Workout was able to get an operative inside the 54,000 square-foot gym deep within the bowels of Goldman Sachs mission control at 200 West Street in Manhattan. What did they find?

Australian fitness class participants: are they listening to pop music authentic enough to get them pumped? Alas, the answer may be "no." Because in Australia—whether it's cardio-kickboxing, spinning, or some other bullshit—it's set to Britney cover tunes.