What happens when you were was famous but are no longer famous? Can you still hang out with your old friends who still happen to be famous—much more famous than you are now? Here are two stories that suggest: no!
Jennifer Aniston's bleep-heavy tour of the late night circuit made a stop on Conan last night, where she revealed the necklace she wore in Horrible Bosses 2 was actually a big ol' cock ring, and she told Conan O'Brien she wouldn't have it any other way.
Chris Stark, the BBC Radio host known for his charmingly awkward celebrity interviews—you've probably seen the one with Mila Kunis—got a second chance to interview Jennifer Aniston this week. What he didn't know was that his boss, Scott Mills, had put Aniston up to intentionally giving the Worst Interview Ever.
Lord knows everyone's had some troublesome times in their lives. Maybe you didn't even realize you were pregnant until cramps started up again, the hollow, throbbing ache that left you so doubled over it was all you could do to crawl on your hands and knees to the cool tiles of the bathroom floor and rest your forehead against the porcelain lip of the tub, and that's when you noticed your thighs were wet. Maybe you wandered much further from the campsite than you intended, searching for a better vantage point to watch that thunderstorm roll across the basin, and as soon as you saw the meticulously tended fire and the horrible hunk of charred meat in it, the half-full water bottle you'd just passed made sense and you realized the coppery smell carried on the wind wasn't "ozone" but blood. One time Jennifer Aniston ate a Big Mac.
Oh hey, here's a picture of Jennifer Aniston rocking a zillion-carat engagement ring that her fiance, Justin Theroux, "gave" her. Though I assume Aniston bought the ring herself six years ago and stashed it in a safety deposit box until the day she finally found a man who could properly pull off being dressed like a 1930s fighter pilot. This is a big rock. A huge rock. A very expensive, obnoxious, stupid fucking rock.
Looks like Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are pulling a sort of Joaquin Phoenix I'm Not There thing, but with way more Smartwater. The couple are currently working on a short film parodying Aniston's life, rife with frenzied paparazzi, hushed will she or won't she baby rumors, and all the general "tabloid interest in Jennifer's life." Que cinematique!
It's almost New Year's Eve and you're going to go to a party and everyone is going to ask, "What is your New Year's Resolution?" Don't say "quit smoking," "lose weight," or "get a new job," because all of those are bound to fail. Here's a list of some nice easy ones that are all related to pop culture that you can tell people you're working on. They're fun and easy and everyone will think you're fantastic for having them.
Pippa Middleton steps out with two, yes two, boys at once. J.Lo had a lovely holiday with her new hunk. Jennifer Aniston and her beau nearly ran into Brad Pitt. Justin Bieber's fake babymomma's ex boyfriend is causing drama. Monday's gossip needs relationship advice.
Miley Cyrus is smoking more than just salvia. Prince William saves two lives. Brad and Jennifer narrowly miss an awkward run-in. Sunday gossip is going to go hang out in the cemetery.
Jennifer and Heidi cry it out over a glass of wine. Amy Adams discusses her muffin top. Cameron Diaz is banging Diddy again. Timberlake busts Gosling's fauxhemian pose. Wednesday gossip is glad we had this talk.
Lindsay Lohan completes another stint in jail. Kim Kardashian flies to Minnesota to couple counseling with Kris. Avril Lavigne's bar brawl leads to a black eye, a bloody nose, and a split-open head. Monday gossip is a caged bird flying free.
Ryan Seacrest, who hangs over Hollywood and infests everything in it like a cloud of smog carrying Anthrax, made his first deal to produce a movie. If this is anything like his TV producing enterprises, which brought us the Ugg-booted Yeti that is the Kardashians, we're all doomed.
Aniston assaulted a director, but she says he was asking for it. Fart fetishists can't get enough of Nancy Grace. Ashton Kutcher's mistresses poses topless. Demi Moore still wears her wedding ring. Friday gossip returns to the one who hurt it.
