Imagine it’s Saturday morning, and you’re about to enjoy a book and a cup of coffee on your back porch, and you’re greeted by four two-foot tall winged eaters of dead meat. They’re staring you down through the glass sliding door, as if to say Do you feel lucky, punk? Oh god, not the vultures again. Welcome to Rick Mize’s world.

For the past month, Mize’s property in Buncombe, Ill., has been infested by vultures. They walk on the roof; they stand around in little gangs, acting all tough; they poop on things that they oughtn’t be pooping on. Minze told local news outlet KPLC that he isn’t sure what brought the birds to his home, but that he thinks the “foul, death” smell he’s been smelling recently might have something to do with it.

“Ok your cat died in your house and you found it five days later after being on vacation,” Mize said to describe the smell surrounding his home. “And you walk into your house. That’s the stench, it’s just fowl, death.”

Mize said he thinks there is a large dead animal near his property. He’s since contacted the Illinois Department of Natural Resources to report the bird problem.

Who could forget that ol’ cat corpse smell? Which is probably even worse than the birds. It’s time to move out, Ricky. This is vulture country now.

Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.