Philadelphia is full of treasures. Here is an elderly woman ranting against another SEPTA bus passenger in a nearly six minute, uninterrupted stream of swears and insults.

On bad days, do you ever think to yourself, "How could my daily commute be worse?"

Feast your eyes on these terrifying members of Ukrainian feminist group, FEMEN. They are protesting the 2014 world cup, to be held in Belarus.

We got an angry email from Juliette Lewis' publicist (she must be doing pretty well if she has a publicist) saying that the girl getting boned in this picture by perv photo Terry Richardson is not Juliette Lewis. Then it must be a photo of Terry Richardson fucking a girl that looks like Juliette Lewis.

TMZ got their grubby little hands on some really amazing photos of slowly curdling tween sensation Miley Cyrus eating a penis cake. Oh, Miley, this actually makes me kind of love you.

Professional perv Terry Richardson is as well-known for his creepy sexual antics with his models as he is for making a living taking mediocre pictures taken on a white background. Juliette Lewis is famous for...hmmm...a few movies, I guess? Being in that "Shit Girls Say" video?

68-year-old Sen. John Kerry suffered two black eyes and a broken nose playing hockey around New Year's. It's great news for children, who can now throw away the regular terrifying John Kerry Halloween masks they wear every year and buy the new completely horrifying bruised version. (What? Look, the only reason we're making jokes about John Kerry's ugly face is because it's fun.)

Behold the deeply, deeply unsettling (and NSFW) stop-motion videography of artist Monica Cook (NO RELATION AT ALL WHATSOEVER), featuring animatronic-looking sweaty weirdos giving birth to horrible misshapen babies with outsized genitalia and then turning into werewolves. The video is from March; Cook has a new show at Postmasters Art Gallery in New York featuring, in the words of Animal NY's Marina Galperina, "humanoid, cave-dwelling monkeys, loving in efflorescent goo, conceiving, birthing, mothering, and dying… all while you can see their insides working through their transparent, ripping skin. It's all shiny fluid and dripping flesh, sequins, pipes, teeth and peeled glittered bones." It's also "very touching," she says. Sweet dreams.

Perpetual sexy schoolgirl AnnaLynne McCord, who regularly makes out with her sister in front of cameras, took a topless picture of herself last night and tweeted it at a random fan, who apparently sat in dumbfounded silence when she saw the "gift" AnnaLynne had tweeted at her. "@IAMannalynne <333 ahh thanks! you are so sweet! and thats definitely a great picture!," replied @Meganrae, a random girl from Colorado with a Blogspot about nail polish.

Lindsay Lohan's Playboy issue hits newsstands this week, amid widespread disappointment. Over the last six years, every part of Lindsay has been photographed repeatedly. (Her latest nip slip occurred this morning.) Now presenting Lindsay Lohan: A Portrait of the Starlet as the Sum of Her Private Parts. NSFW after the jump.

Lindsay Lohan's much-discussed "boobs, ass, and vag" Playboy photoshoot has leaked online in its entirety (NSFW link) and it's a massive letdown. First, there is no "vag." Second, they photoshopped out her freckles and tattoos, which is a pretty significant change; we aren't looking at Lindsay, but a Lindsay-shaped work of graphic art. Third, this is just the poor man's version of her other nude Marilyn Monroe photoshoot, which appeared in New York in 2008.

John Sieglinger, age 21, streaked at University of Southern Mississippi football game last weekend, and the worst thing that can happen during a streaking event occurred: He fell down. On his penis.

Libyan officials have confirmed that Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi is dead, shot in the head during fighting in his hometown of Sirte. The first images of his body have emerged. Graphic images ahead.

The wonderfully titled MrPotatoHeadNews was biking home last night across the Manhattan Bridge when he stumbled upon this man jumping rope nude on the bridge. Why would someone do something so, ahem, nuts?

Jet Set Studios, the gay porn company behind such comedic gems as Getting Levi's Johnson and To Fuck a Predator, has just released Anthony's Weener. It's the story of what happens when a gay Congressman accidentally tweets a picture of his penis. Don't worry, the trailer above is safe(ish) for work.

When Nancy Grace slipped a nipple on Dancing with the Stars, it caused a huge uproar. Now imagine if Nancy Grace ripped off her top, exposed her breasts, humped her partner, took off her G-string, and appeared completely naked. Oh, and Nancy Grace was a gorgeous model. That's what happened Sunday on Argentina's version of Dancing with the Stars.

When leaving a photo shoot in New York today, one of Lady Gaga's notoriously cantilevered contraptions failed her and her nether regions were exposed to the cameras. But just what the hell are we looking at here?

While Weather Channel reporter Eric Fisher braved ferocious winds and rainy Irene-ness to bring us live reports from Virginia Beach (look at those fluttering pant legs!), a bunch of college-aged looking yahoos ran behind him, jumping up and down like their team had just won the Super Bowl. And then one guy NSFW-ishly pulled down his pants. Did I mention that this was live?

Gagaologists will remember Lady Gaga's Vogue Hommes Japan photoshoot for two major Lady Gaga breakthroughs: The genesis of the meat dress, and the birth of male alter-ego Jo Calderone. Now, a new reason to have Gaga's Japanese photoshoot seared in your mind forever: Test shots of Gaga bond, naked, and looking like she is about to be raped. Yeeeah published them today. (Look out for a contextually terrifying autoplay video ad.) They are somewhat disturbing. Here are a few of them.

When you work in the densest metropolitan area in the country, you never know what you'll see out the window of your office. Another office, maybe! A brick wall! Or, who knows, a nude women participating in what appears to be an erotic photo shoot! These pictures—of, we believe, the latter category of window sight—were sent to Curbed by someone who works at 800 Third and describes the voyeurism of the bored office worker as "a New York Lottery of sorts." [Curbed]