You know, we won't lie to you: We're not quite sure who Inna De Silva is. (Sorry. We're under the age of 90.) According to this week's New York Observer, she's a notorious NYC party gal who they story says, at various points, ran a Russian "concierge service," was addicted to smack, worked as a booker for models and now serves as a consultant to nightclubs while carrying around a bottle of vodka. We don't know why this necessarily makes her interesting enough to merit a profile in the Observer, but we do like listening to her talk. Some choice quotes:

· Evidently some people still, like, read books and stuff. We've never actually met these people, but it warms the cockles of our cold heart that they're still out there. Tonight, Hipster Handbook scribe Robert Lanham, former Gawker-bot Elizabeth Spiers, and some others read at the "Bookmark Now: Writing in Unreaderly Times" release party at Galapagos. [flavorpill]
· Sri Lankan hottie M.I.A. raps (while everyone else pretends to understand a single word she says) at S.O.B.'s tonight; her collaborator Diplo takes the stage at Rothko. [Upcoming x2]
· The Daily Show's Rob Corddry and Old School screenwriter Scot Armstrong take part in "Bro'in Out with Seth and Tony," a live talk/variety show hosted by, err, Seth and Tony. Sure beats Leno. [PSNBC]

· Transatlantic pop-punkers the Futureheads come to Webster Hall tonight to make the indie kids dance. Or at least stoically cast judgement upon those who decide to dance. [flavorpill]
· Find out what subsect of British culture Nick Hornby dissects this time around at the Barnes and Noble on E. 17th street, where he reads from his new book. [Paper]
· Channel your inner Fiddy at Rothko's Hip Hop Karaoke. Bling and semi-automatic weaponry optional, but highly recommended. [HHK]

Friday:
· Concept cover band Loser s Lounge present the music of the Cure versus the Smiths — so that you, the audience, can decide who depresses you more. This is not as cool as watching Morrissey and Robert Smith actually fight each other, but you can't have it all. [flavorpill]
· Famous designers Milton Glaser and Mirko Ilic curated The Design of Dissent, examples of illustrated protest opening tonight at the School of Visual Arts. Playwright Tony Kushner joins Glaser and Ilic for a discussion about the project and the soon to be released book of the same name. You just knew there was a tie-in. Capitalist whores, all of them. [TONY]
Saturday:
· Super-hyped bands The Killers and Louis XIV take it outdoors with a show at the Central Park Summerstage. Though the show is sold out, you can picnic close-by and still enjoy the sight of hipsters getting sunburned. [Oh My Rockness]
· Coney Island just got creepier (hard to believe) with the introduction of the Saturday Night Film Series. This week, enjoy Confessions of a Psycho Cat and cult classic Reefer Madness. And then get the hell out of Coney Island. [Coney Island]
Sunday:
· Controversial artist Sanford Biggers opens a new show with three ridiculously intricate pieces, including a huge portrait of 70 s Kung Fu star Jim Kelley rendered in grains of rice. Aren't there starving babies somewhere? [flavorpill]

· "Literary-fantasist phenoms" Paul LaFarge and Salvador Plascencia spin tales of 1881 Parisian dreams, disillusioned saints, and Baby Nostradamus' at Housing Works tonight. The reading is (obviously) brought to you by McSweeney's. [flavorpill]
· Rothko celebrates their 1st anniversary party tonight and tomorrow with back-to-back shows featuring Brit laptop boys Plaid. Self-indulgent bastards. [Paper]
· A moment of relative seriousness, if we may be so permitted: Speak Out: I Had an Abortion is a documentary that eschews the politics surrounding the issue and deals with the actual women. It screens at UnionDocs in Williamsburg tonight; catch it before the feds take it away. [UnionDocs]

· Yeah, yeah, yeah, NYC quartet Brazilian Girls are 0% Brazilian and only 25% female. They do, however, drop beats and lyrics ("Pussy pussy pussy, marijuana!") sexy enough to make you feel like you're in Brazil and not Irving Plaza. [flavorpill]
· David Sedaris, funny man with the funny family, re-enacts scenes from his latest work, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, at the E. 17th Street Barnes and Noble. [Paper]
· German robo-pop kings Kraftwerk bring their standstill act to the Hammerstein Ballroom. Glowsticks are acceptable, but not recommended. [Upcoming]

· Were you sitting around last night and just thinking to yourself, "I wonder if the Moog synthesizer was named after a dude or 'Moog' is just a made up word?" Probably not. Turns out, though, that it's option #1. Tonight, artists ranging from DJ Logic to one of them Brazilian Girls pay homage to Mr. Robert Moog and his lovely synthesizer at B.B. King's Moogfest 2005. [flavorpill]
· The first rule of a Chuck Palahniuk reading is that you must inform everyone of a Chuck Palahniuk reading. The second rule of a Chuck Palahniuk reading is that you must make that stupid fucking joke. In any event, the Fight Club scribe reads from his latest novel, Haunted, at the Barnes and Noble in Union Square tonight. [Upcoming]
· Berklee boy Edan (that's the Boston music school, not the Cali acid-trip) drops dope beats and sings pretty songs tonight at APT tonight. [Paper]

Friday:
· It's the last day to participate in Shop 4 Class, where a portion of your spending will go to New York City public schools. Participating vendors include Bergdorf Goodman, and ABC Carpet & Home. It s a great excuse to blow your weekend drug money, so do it for the children. [NYCVisit]
· Dave Longstreth of the Dirty Projectors will be bringing his confusing, ambitious music/projecting to Pianos. Something about about a cello octet, animation, and Aztecs — it's so crazy, it just might work. [Pianos]
Saturday
· The Style Sessions skateboarding/photography competition goes down on Saturday at Snake Hill, Dogfight and Cloisters Enjoy the shameless promotion for Lords of Dogtown and hot boys with bandaged knees. [freshpaved]
· Instead of seeing Star Wars again (you nerd), spend the same $10 on seeing Night Nurse at the MoMA, starring Barbara Stanwick. Word on the street is that there are some pretty racy scenes here, which should beat looking at Chewbacca any day. [flavorpill]
Sunday
· If you haven't seen the Basquiat exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum, you've got one week left. Leo and Giselle have been, like, 500 times. They're so much better than you. [Brooklyn Museum]
Monday
· Celebrate Memorial Day by checking out some hot sailor ass at the USS Intrepid s Fleet Week flag-raising festivities. Or just celebrate by eating brunch and not going to the post office. [Intrepid Museum]

· Fight the hipsters for space to see Rilo Kiley at Webster Hall. Remember when singer Jenny Lewis starred in the cinematic masterpiece Troop Beverly Hills back in 1990? Shout at her to make a sequel. The world could use it. And maybe you ll see Shelley Long. [ohmyrockness]
· Chances are, your knowledge of Korean culture doesn t extend past kim-pap (if even(, so check out the Korean Film Festival, which screens classics as well as the newest hits. It s free, which should give you plenty of money to get that tasty kim-ba afterward. [Event Guide]
· Riton, a Brit pretending to be a sleazy Frenchman will be spinning downstairs at the the Tribeca Grand. He mixes glitchy machine funk, with kick drums and bass lines. Don't worry, everyone else there won't know what that means, either. [flavorpill]

· If your knowledge of the Flaming Lips doesn't extend beyond "She Don't Use Jelly," head to Two Boots Pioneer for tonight's screening of The Fearless Freaks. Brad Beesley's documentary follows the band from its Oklahoman roots to its current popularity amongst the Plushy set. [flavorpill]
· Team Sleep's show sold out at the Knitting Factory, Boredoms sold out Mercury Lounge, and Jonathan Safran Foer bought every last Bright Eyes ticket for tonight's set at Webster Hall. Befriend a scalper and make do. [Oh My Rockness]
· Having ourselves been to the Brooklyn Animal Resource Center, we think it's worth the $25 ticket to attend their art show tonight. Real playas pay $250 and get to take home an original work of art. [BARC]

· Aren't you due for your Norwegian electronica fix? Thought so. Tonight Kim Hiorth y brings his dreamy, organic beats to APT; you bring your sticky, overpriced drugs. [flavorpill]
· The 39th Annual Cooper Union "End of the Year Show" kicks off tonight at The Foundation Building. With all the creative minds at work over there you'd think they'd be able to come up with a better title than "End of the Year Show," but go figure. [Cooper]
· Pulitzer Prize winner and former New York Times executive editor Joseph Lelyveld and writer/attorney Michael Rips take part in a discussion on, of all things, Omaha, Nebraska. Apparently there's a stuff West of the Hudson. [Housing Works]

· Wu Tang's Gza joins J-Live and Def Juxies Vast Aire, El-P, and C-Rayz Walz at B.B. King's tonight. Indie bonus points awarded to those who can understand a single rap without consulting a dictionary or thesaurus. [flavorpill]

Friday:
· NY2LON is dedicated to breaking down the cultural divide between the US/UK. We read on Slate's American History 101 that the divide was kind of broken down in 1776, but what the fuck do they know. In any event, the Ordinary Boys and Amusement Parks on Fire rep the Brits; Hong Kong and stellastarr* (posing as The Ligers — shhh! Don't tell!) rep the US at Bowery tonight. [flavorpill]
· One of these days, someone will come up with a way to take on the right-wingers at Fox News and Drudge. Air America, alas, was not that someone. Janeane Garofalo, Sam Seder, Tim Robbins, and Jason Bateman reinforce this fact at the Tank tonight. [Tank]
Saturday:
· The East River Music Project is a group of New Yorkers trying to foster a sense of community in this beautiful beast of a city," says Flavorpill. The Evens, Parts & Labor perform tonight as part of East River Music Project, which aims to "foster a sense of community" in New York. Good luck, dude. Feel the attempted love tonight at the East River Amphitheater. [flavorpill]
· Bright Eyes, aka Conor Oberst, aka the collective wet dream of OC fans and novelist Jonathan Safran Foer, plays at Webetsr Hall tonight. You know you want to, and, if you're lucky, you just might see a certain post-modern someone! [Webster Hall]
Sunday:
· Do you even listen to our Sunday suggestions? We know you're just going to watch the season finale of Desperate Housewives no matter what we tell you to do.

· Bhangra's the hottest thing to come out of the UK since the Beatles. No wait, that was Grime. Fuck, these trends are impossible to keep up with. In any event, State of Bengal and Dhamaal (that means a period of violence in Gujarati—Intern Neel) get all subcontiental and shit for Sub Swara at Capitale. [flavorpill]
· Investment Bankers have "Monkey Business;" fashion assistants have "The Devil Wears Prada;" budding alcoholics have "Smashed." Now, the obnoxious little twits of Chapin and St. Ann's have "The Rise and Fall of a 10th Grade Social Climber." The authors read excerpts of the book at the Borders on Park Ave. between 56th and 57th Streets, though quite frankly we'd rather stay at home and stare at Lindsay Lohan's boobs in "Mean Girls." [SocialClimberBooks]
· A spot on the Pazz and Jop poll. A feature in the Village Voice. An interview in Pitchfork. Better catch the Hold Steady in all their late-night bar rock glory before they blow up. Err, too late! Better luck next time. [BB]

· Put on your Ivy League hoodie (unless you went to Cornell) and head over to the Oxonian Society, where Tina Brown waxes poetically on tripling the circulation of Vanity Fair, doubling that of the New Yorker, and giving Henry the Intern a chance to regain some semblance of sanity. [Oxonian]
· John Lurie ("What Do You Know About Music, You're Not a Lawyer") and Rick Moody ("Ice Storm," "Dale Peck's Bitch") take part in the latest installment of the Happy Ending reading series. If you can't take Moody's pretentious ramblings, make sure to follow host Amanda Stern's sage advice: get drunk and go home with somebody. [Amanda Stern]
· Radioactive Man, aka Keith Tenniswood, mans the decks at Canal Room tonight — Hazmat suit and all. [flavorpill]

Since y'all are probably returning home from last night's coke-infested binge about now, we'll start the morning off with some mildy offensive cultural insights about "clubbing." Our current (and perhaps only) favorite bouncer/grad student/blogger describes the most horrifying stage in the metamorphis of a "hot" New York City club:

· Chicago's the Changes feature the percolating guitars of Andy Summers, the jazzy rhythms of Sea and Cake, and the reverb feedback of Pavement. Wow — this whole music critic thing is pretty easy when you just copy what other people write. Rothko, 9pm. [flavorpill]
· Gothamist throws a funny party at Tonic tonight featuring Paul Scheer from Best Week Ever, Rob Huebel (also known as "Inconsiderate Cell Phone Guy"), and a whole lot o' bloggers. Hilarity ensues, mostly because of the latter. [Tonic]
· And if those bloggers aren't funny enough, check out the WYSIWYG talent show at PS 122, where Martha Burzynski, PJ Gallagher, and host of others read. Out loud. Presumably for the very first time. [PS122]

· At Joe's Pub tonight, one-man folk band Willy Porter sings while he scratches, taps, and drums on his acoustic guitar. So does the homeless guy right outside our apartment, but we hate mixing our own drinks. [flavorpill]
· Paper tells us that British critic darlings Kasabian take their name from Linda Kasabian, Charles Manson's getaway driver. We knew they were hipper than us. Bowery Ballroom, if you can procure a ticket. [Paper]
· Left-leaning winners of commie rag The Nation's Poetry Contest read from their respective works at the 92nd Street Y. Writing poetry is totally better than winning political elections, anyway. [VV]

· Neil Hamburger is the funniest un-funny comedian of all time. Seriously — the dude's shtick is telling jokes so bad, they're almost good. The operative word, of course, is "almost." [flavorpill]
· Park Ave's beloved Asia Society holds its first-ever Dance Master Competition tonight, in which movers and shakers bring it down to Chinatown to win the title of "Dance Master." Creative, no? $9 bucks gets you a piece of the action and some facetime with the contest's unspecified "celebrity judges." [Paper]
Saturday: · "The Muster is a public art event in which artist Allison Smith invokes the aesthetic vernacular of the American Civil War battle reenactment as a stage set for a polyphonic marshalling of voices in her artistic and intellectual communities." We'll, uh, meet you there! [PAF]
· Are you as smart as you think you are? Put your money where your mouth is and prove it: $30 gives you a shot at the Greater New York Mensa Qualifying Exam at TRS Inc. [GNYM]
Sunday:
· Don't you think you could use a little sun? No, seriously, tans are cool. Get some fresh air while paying homage to Dorothy Parker and Vogue's better days with the Algonoquin Round Table Walking Tour. [DPNYC]

A reader reports on last night's art auction at Christie's, where botoxed billionaires with paddles reigned supreme: