The special election for New York's 26th congressional district seat — the one left vacant by our beloved Craigslist Congressman, former Rep. Chris Lee — is 12 days away, and the race is rapidly becoming hilarious. Mostly because of the rich, 78-year-old buzzard running as a third-party candidate on the "Tea Party" line, Jack Davis, whose healthy poll numbers could help deny Republicans a victory in this extremely conservative district. So who is this guy, and why is he slapping cameras?

Meatpacking District hellhole Tenjune, besides serving as a microcosm of all that's wrong with humanity, is also owned by a dude who possibly likes to jerk off in front of his employees — according to a lawsuit filed by four employees, that is. Mark Birnbaum, the club's co-owner, is facing allegations that he "[M]ade unwelcome sexual advances, requested sexual favors, and engaged in inappropriate and illegal verbal and physical conduct of a sexual nature with plaintiffs, all of whom are young female employees at the lounges." Classy.

Poor sad millionairess Jennifer Aniston. The actress recently bought the Manhattan sky tomb of her saddest dreams, but couldn't quite muster the strength to be a, gulp, single independent lady and put her own name on the apartment.

Photographer Philip Bloom recently made 24 Hours of Neon, a short time-lapse video of the sun setting and rising again in Las Vegas. We've seen this time and again in New York and other cities, but Vegas is the saddest yet.

Filmmaker Dominic Boudreault made this awesome movie called "The City Limits" where he filmed time-lapse footage of Chicago, Toronto, New York, and Montreal and then edited it all together. Unless you know the various cities' landmarks, you can hardly tell them apart. Is it urbanist to say all cities look the same? You can't even tell which ones are in Canada and which are in the good old U.S. of A. Still, New York looks the best, right? Right?!

Those geniuses at the website Alien Loves Predator created this rad map of film icons and where they were filmed loving (or destroying) New York. There are apparently 91 movie references on the map. Think you can spot them all?

Texas tourist pied piper, the Naked Cowboy, had an unexpected guest today in Times Square. It was Larry the Cable guy, who also donned the Naked Cowboy's trademarked diaper (no really, he has that thing trademarked) to film an episode of his reality show. This is just the worst.

Jerry Seinfeld talked to the NY Times about launching his own site, JerrySeinfeld.com which will be a repository for clips of all of his stand-up comedy routines. If they're anything like this TV appearance from 1977, it's going to be hard to find an audience.

Last night as news of Osama bin Laden's death was announced to the nation, crowds in New York and D.C. rushed to Ground Zero and the White House to celebrate. Here are some photos of the revelry.

Fish peddler Yong Hao Wu has been charged with importing thousands of live snakehead fish—a crime in New York state, in case you've slacked off on studying your fish laws (don't feel ashamed; we've all been there).

Filmmaker Adam Abada rode the entire length of Broadway on Tuesday afternoon and shot every intersecting street sign on his journey. If you ever got dizzy making a trip uptown, try this one on for size. The bonus is that it takes less than a minute. We wish the A train was that fast. [NYT]

If you're ordering in tonight and you live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, watch out: Some vigilante bicycle delivery guy has set up a blog posting the names and addresses of people who give him crappy tips.

After being stabbed in the side with a butcher knife, a 58-year-old parking garage attendant in the Bronx fended off two armed attackers with an apple. The surveillance video shows two younger men threatening the attendant, who happened to be holding an apple at the time. (By color, I would guess it is a Gala. Jonagold, Fuji, and Honeycrisp are also possibilities.) As the knife-wielding assailant lunges at our frugivorous hero, he flings his snack at his attacker, then shoves the thug out the door.

Times Square has always been one of the worst parts of town. Now it's crammed with badly dressed tourists waddling along the sidewalk trying to find M&M World. Back in 1986, it was just as bad.

Some newspapers are up in arms over a police union guy allegedly trying to "fix" a speeding ticket for someone — which is surely a very rare occurence in the world of law enforcement. And in a Post EXCLUSIVE, we get transcripts of a wiretapped conversation that paints a picture of what one union delegate thinks of cops: "One thing that I know about these Highway dudes is that they're all pretty much assholes, you know what I'm saying? [...] They're all dickheads." Outrageous! Next thing you know, an EXCLUSIVE wiretap will come out with someone saying that all cops have a chip on their shoulder, like flat tops and unironic moustaches, and target people who aren't white on dubious grounds.

Poor, miserable Jennifer Aniston will finally wed... two apartments together. The dejected and rejected actress is fleeing Los Angeles for her hometown of New York and will reportedly take up residence in two apartments in the West Village that she plans on converting into a duplex.

After the recent unexpected death of its namesake founder, the new owners of Don Hill's closed the downtown nightlife institution for good on Monday night. Developers are going to turn it into a condo. Welcome to the new downtown Manhattan!

A hearty mazel tov to New York State's gay and lesbian inmates in "official" relationships (or as official as the state currently allows, which isn't much). Conjugal visits with your partners are now allowed! [NYDN]

Stern NYC schoolmarm-in-chief Mike Bloomberg is trying to crack down on the practice of NYPD officers making tickets disappear as a favor to friends. Clearly, this is an outrageous assault on the police. Why does Mike Bloomberg hate courtesy?

Today in New York Post drug stories: 35-year-old "deranged stoner" Cordero Coroberto decided a morning rush hour 2 train was a good spot to spark a blunt (which, according to the Post is "a cigar refilled with tobacco and marijuana"). Apparently the other commuters didn't feel like showing up for work with a contact high, so that's when Evelyn Seeger stepped in: