If you haven't been reading the New York Post's coverage of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, well, then you really should be. The DSK story was tailor made for the Post: Snooty, filthy rich Frenchman allegedly sexually assaults a hotel maid in AMERICA. How does that sit with your Freedom Fries?

As former IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn spruces up his $50,000 a month Tribeca townhouse with the finest, Kevlar-reinforced patio umbrellas money can buy, we bring you yet another disturbing report of an arrest in connection with an alleged sex attack on a Manhattan luxury hotel worker by an international financier.

The Post reports that bourgeois former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn had some patio umbrellas delivered to his $50,000 per month townhouse in Tribeca. So French. This can only mean one thing: He's hiding something!

Under house arrest and awaiting trial for the alleged sexual assault of a chambermaid, Dominique Strauss-Kahn is living in a three-story TriBeCa townhouse. Before Strauss-Kahn moved in, the townhouse was used as a venue for corporate parties. I went to one! (You didn't think I partied there with him, did you? Way too dangerous.)

On his evening commute, a Manhattan cyclist spied a strange beast at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge. It had the scales of a fish, body of a serpent, head of a pit bull, and was the size of a large alligator. It was lying on a blue blanket, perhaps part of some strange ritual involving the can of Bud Light next to it. Unless these are the remains of a beer-swilling chupahipstera that died trying to reach Manhattan?

After a sophomore season of highs and lows and asking "Are they just high?" I really wanted to like the season finale. I really, really did. Let's just say that it was a fitting end for a tumultuous season.

New York's 26th congressional district went to the polls on Tuesday to pick a replacement for their former representative Christopher Lee, who resigned after we caught him sending shirtless photos to women he met on Craigslist. The winner? Democrat Kathy Hochul, whose victory has been declared a repudiation of the Republican Medicare plan. Kathy! We don't necessarily expect a thank-you or anything, but if you want to say "hi," you can reach us at 646-470-4295.

Artist Jorge Colombo draws street scenes in New York using only his finger and the iPhone "Brushes" app. You might have seen his work on the cover of the New Yorker last year. In honor of his upcoming book of images of the Big Apple, here are some of his coolest cityscapes. We only wish our fingers could be so nimble.

A headless corpse was discovered on Long Island yesterday, about 100 miles from where 10 others have been found. As the Post helpfully points out, the beach is "about three miles" from a home that Paul McCartney owns. Uh, thanks?

Moss-covered property troll Donald Trump may have sacrificed a presidential bid in order to better serve the Celebrity Apprentice-watching people, but that doesn't mean he'll stop giving of himself. The man just gives and gives! Wait, did I say gives? I meant "takes"—as in $35,000 per course at his institute of higher earning, Trump U.

Everyone came to Elaine's. And that's hardly an exaggeration. A Manhattan Upper East Side institution helmed by a chain-smoking owner who wasn't afraid to toss men twice her size just because she didn't like them, Elaine's was the go-to spot for generations of celebrities and media types—and was the place to be on Oscar night in New York City. Elaine Kaufman died in December 2010; earlier this week, it was announced that her beloved restaurant would follow.

Four 10th graders from St. Ann's—NYC private school to Brooklyn's brownstone elite—have been arrested for setting fire to a public school's playground, melting the slide. Class rage meter: 5%

The cliche about New York City is that the amount of time spent in transit means New Yorkers do in public things suburbanites might keep locked behind French doors. Like breaking up with your girlfriend, or cleaning your shoes with your tongue.

The Post reports that the Port Authority Bus Terminal is swarming with "hucksters" who help travelers to their gates and then ask for a "$2 to $3 tip." Whoa. Next they'll say bus stations smell like urine or something.

The head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, arrested yesterday in New York for alleged sexual assault on a hotel maid, is also known to many as "the great seducer," for his "reputation with women" as the AP points out. The guy is 62 years old. That's gross.

Yesterday, a New York City hot dog vendor celebrated Friday the 13th—both the day and the horror film—by slashing up a rival vendor's face. Though "authentic," slashing your competitor isn't an effective marketing strategy in the long run.

Everyone knows that bedbugs are gross jerks that attack war veterans. But were you aware that they're also gassy? Luckily, you can use their flatulence against them thanks to an "exciting newly patented product" called the BBD-100.

Hey, terrorists! If you're considering blowing up New York but were worried about the NYPD's crack anti-terrorism team foiling your plot, don't worry: Here's what the largest police department in the country is on the lookout for. A blogger just found the plans in the trash.

The New York City Department of Transportation is installing signs that flash this supposed-to-be-scary skeleton to drivers going over 30mph. Do you really think this Halloween decoration is going to slow drivers down? Our pigeons are more frightening.

Remember the super cool New York movie map we posted last week? The genius at Alien Loves Predator who created it have posted the answers to the 91 movies that were on it. How many did you get right?