We're becoming obsessed with the story of the shoot-out on Friday night at the poker game in "unmarked office on the seventh floor of a commercial building at 251 Fifth Avenue, at 28th Street." There isn't much new on the story—but as a former math professor from New Jersey was killed in the poker den, it gave the "North Jersey Media Group"</> the opportunity to write this immortal line: "Those who knew Frank DeSena say the Wayne man had been dealt a good hand in life." URK. [NYT]

Aww! New York Observer publisher and Ivanka Trump-lover Jared Kushner's dad Charles, who sponsored the work visa for then-Jersey gov Jim McGreevey's supposed Israeli lover-employee, has now hired his buddy McGreevey's new boyfriend to be the Kushner family corporation's chief investment officer! [NY Post]

The Garden State is one step closer to sewing up the title of Most Awesomest Hudson River state. The Asbury Park Press reports that a four-point buck, demanding his right to an equal education and his very own fifteen minutes, broke through a double-paned window yesterday to join Lloyd Road Elementary's fifth-grade vocabulary lesson. Even when school officials put the whole place on lockdown because of one disoriented deer, the kids stayed calm, to their credit. The same can't be said for their school nurse. "When he saw me, he started climbing in," [Rosalie] Preuss told the New York Times. "I thought he'd back up, but he started coming forward, so I shut the door and went, 'Eek! Eek!'" Oh Nurse Preuss, you're the best; Hump Day thanks you for your service.

Former New Jersey first lady Dina Matos McGreevey was just on It's Your Call With Lynn Doyle on the Comcast network, and we learned a lot about gay Americans. Like: you're probably married to one right now! According to some graphic they showed, "there are an estimated 2 million marriages where one spouse is gay." There wasn't really a source for that number so we'll assume Lynn and Dina just gave their best guess. Also there was an insane return from commercial where they showed the USS New Jersey and Lynn said "it is appropriately lit in pink, for breast cancer awareness, and also appropriate because of our guest." Because an estimated 2 million husbands across the country are secretly captaining huge pink battleships, sailing through the strait of betrayal and torpedoing the Good Ship Family.

You know, we sympathize with just-resigned Atlantic City Mayor Robert W. Levy's personal health situation and all. The heretofore absent-without-say-so city leader turned up earlier this week after spending the last couple of weeks hiding out at home and at a clinic for substance abuse and depression. If we'd been consulted, we might have recommended a subtler exit strategy from his job—say, an apparently spontaneous trip to visit long-lost relatives in outer Mongolia! Or perhaps a sudden deep and abiding devotion to the melting of the polar ice caps, necessitating an in-person look-see? Hell, if Levy had said he'd taken a day trip to Trenton, everyone would have just assumed he was recovering from gunshot wounds someplace, no big deal.

"A New Jersey stockbroker and his wife maintained an animal house of horrors — a feces-filled mansion where they kept more than 100 malnourished and neglected dogs and cats... One dog's fur was so matted and caked in feces, rescuers couldn't figure which end was its head." [NYP]

Did Jon Corzine ditch the aide who survived his near-fatal wreck with him because he was getting "too close" to the "tall and attractive" 25-year-old? Page Six conveys rumors and innuendos that the New Jersey governor's 62-year-old girlfriend was apparently suspicious of the relationship. (And our favorite rumor: that the aide was sitting with Corzine in the back seat during the crash.) Our take: The guy has more money than God, he's the most powerful state executive in the country, and he's dating some broad who's two years older than him? Public service really is a thankless task. [NYP]

Good for Miss New Jersey Amy Polumbo! She's taking a brave stance against the would-be blackmailers who threatened to publish photos taken from her "private" Facebook page. Apparently the photos were from an event called "I Survived Colins' Bootcamp Cabaret Part III," and Amy says "I don't think the photos are that bad." Seriously, maybe in them she is doing a really wacky acting exercise or drinking a glass of white wine or something. Or maybe she is having a lesbian orgy wearing the costumes from Pippin! Even if that's the case, we think she's handling the situation perfectly.

What do you get the employee who survives a brutal high-speed accident with you? Well, New Jersey governor Jon Corzine may be retaining the same driver who was behind the wheel during his vicious crack-up back in April, as the AP says—but he won't retain the traveling companions. We hear Samantha Gordon, the Huma to his Hillary, his mid-20s body woman who emerged largely unscathed from the crash, has been reassigned from her job. In the crash, Corzine was supposedly in the front seat, and not wearing a seatbelt, unlike his primary aide Ms. Gordon, who, though also not wearing a seat belt, was in the back seat alone. Ms. Gordon did not return a phone call this afternoon. Sounds like a rough deal to us.

So last night "The Sopranos" - the greatest television show EVER, etc. - drew down the curtain. Balk and Choire rose at an ungodly hour to sort out the whole thing. If you're the sort of person who has not yet seen the episode and doesn't want it ruined, call in sick to work and watch it now. Then come back here and read this conversation which, it goes without saying, has more spoilers in it than [certain character who got shot last night] has holes in him. Enjoy and chime in.

It's taken a while, but we've somehow shed our embarrassment about having grown up in the Jersey suburbs. (Our therapy included a combination of Springsteen and "The Sopranos.") So it was with some amusement, and a good deal of interest, that we read today's Cindy Adams love-in with Carla Katz. Katz is the head of the Garden State's Communication Workers union; more importantly, she used to bang the governor. She tells Cindy that, contrary to speculation, she's got "nothing on" seatbelt-averse Jon Corzine, who apparently proposed to her but then backed out when it became clear that he could leave the boredom of the Senate behind for the top job in Trenton. While Cindy chooses not to air the rumor that former New Jersey Senator and ethical weasel Bob Torricelli set Corzine up with Katz for the express purpose of getting something on the Goldman Sachs millionaire, she does give Carla the chance to explain herself.

Today's Times has a story on the reaction to New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine's recent injuries. Apparently, Garden Staters are concerned for their governor, but also resentful because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt. How are the palpably angry Jerseyans feeling besides angry?

New York Observer publisher Jared Kushner has bought something new! It's a website called Politics NJ. Right now it looks like 5 websites threw up on each other. Wow, the redesign just went up! Historically, PoliticsNJ has tons of local oomph—of course, their most fascinating and long-running story has always been the Krazy Kushner family itself. Awkward! Well, good timing, as the market's wide open since the Times has given up entirely on covering Jersey. Kushner's plans include installing Governor Christine Todd Whitman and former U.S. Senator Robert Torricelli as bloggers. It's just like the Huffington Post, but everyone's blogging at the bar of Tony Soprano's strip club!

The story of Jersey pole-dancing housewives from this weekend's Times is already rocketing up the most-emailed list. The slideshow is much creepier than Inland Empire. To be honest, it made us think of our moms, and how we wouldn't want them enshrined in the paper of record as crazy menopausal raccoons. Why were these women set up by a reporter to be the victims of media exposure? But a more extensive investigation revealed that the truth might not be what we first assumed.

The 'mos across the river have begun rushing to get civilly committed, which is gay for "married." Steven Goldstein and Daniel Gross land in the record books as the first Jerseyans to accept the second-rate nuptials, but the Daily News took a look at two other soon-to-be-not-exactly-wedded couples.

The mystery (or is it a "puzzle?") of yesterday's clouds of foul-smelling mercaptan (we learned a word!) hasn't yet been resolved, but everyone's been eager to point the finger at usual bad-smell scapegoat, the Garden State. The accusations have ranged in scale from subtle, i.e. the Times' whispered "Some suspicion fell on New Jersey," to the, uh, the not so subtle. We're left feeling sort of of bad for New Jersey, which hasn't at all been confirmed as the source of the odor. We're going to recommend that they go with the classic "he who smelt it dealt it" defense— it's been working for us since first grade.

So that rock that fell from the heavens and landed in New Jersey? May have been a meteorite; it's hard to tell these days. Still, the crack team at the Star-Ledger went above and beyond to give you the full scoop:

We were perusing the Newark Star-Ledger obituary section, as you do, when we came across the following death note for Ted Del Guercio, a Newark native who in 1945 signed a $19,000 contract with the Boston Red Sox, but never made it to the Big Leagues. It's not necessarily an uncommon story, but it wasn't until about five paragraphs in that we realized the obituary offers a fairly precise point of comparison , should you need one, of the differences between this side of the river and the other. After the jump, Ted Del Guercio remembered.

It's probably just the five-year-old in us, but we can't help finding "back story" and "push hard" in the context of the New Jersey gay marriage story incredibly hilarious. In any event, as part of its coverage of yesterday's Supreme Court decision, the Times has the inevitable "but would Gay American Jim McGreevey get married?" piece. The former governor says that he would, and offers some thoughtful discussion about what the ruling will mean for young people. He also apologizes for opposing same-sex marriage while he was in office, saying "I only wish I had had the fortitude to embrace this basic right when I was governor."

The New Jersey Supreme Court ruled today that the state Constitution entitles same-sex couples to all the legal benefits of marriage, but by another name. The high court adopted an approach similar to that taken by the Vermont Supreme Court in 1999, which ruled lawmakers can reserve the term "marriage" for the union of one man and one woman, but must grant all couples equal legal protections. Vermont lawmakers responded by allowing same-sex couples to form "civil unions."