It's hard to believe that the current 8th season of Will & Grace will be its last, a mere five seasons after it first started running out of clever double-entendres for ass-fucking and, by extension, quickly began to overstay its welcome. Sure, they managed to grab our attention from time to time, usually by dangling gimmicks and guest stars in front of us like a shiny set of rainbow-colored keys, but at the end of the day, it was really impossible to escape the Eric McCormack-ness of it all. Blogger Mr. Nightlife attended a taping of the first part of the two-part season finale, and was more than eager to ruin the surprise for everyone. Here's an exerpt (and gigantic, series-ender spoiler alert):

Yes, yes, we know we're falling for this viral marketing scheme in exactly the way NBC wants us to. And we also know that funny promos for random sitcoms — even for probably our favorite current sitcom — aren't precisely Gawker terrority. But, hey, it's Friday, and it's the end of the month, and this batch of faux PSAs The Office made for April Fool's Day are really pretty funny. Plus, we'd like to do all we can to help get this particularly message delivered by B.J. Novak, who plays Ryan, the temp — out there: "Never, ever, ever tape yourself having sex." We're looking at you, any number of random celebrities.

Though Rasputin-turned-teddy-bear Santino Rice had a nice run and his eerily accurate impersonations were the most memorable thing in the show's second season, this year's breakout Project Runway personality was clearly Tim Gunn, Heidi Klum's whip-cracking lieutenant. A reader tips us that the network's corporate powers-that-be seem to have taken note of Gunn's budding, basic cable stardom:

Unless Satan goes ice skating on the frozen ponds of Hell, Katie Couric's time at NBC is drawing to a close. You know what that means — time to start assembling the sappy highlight reel. Lloyd Grove reports:

Broadcasting & Cable previews some of NY Times reporter Bill Carter's behind-the-scenes book on the last five years in the TV business, Desperate Networks, which we're hoping will bear the somewhat unwieldy subtitle The Amazing Adventures of Scratchy Les, Purple Steve, and Zippy the Golden Boy:

When it comes to NBC Universal's cable stepchildren, the Bravo and Sci Fi channels both have a firm grasp on their own identities: the flamboyant gay one, and the self-empowered geek, respectively. Then there's USA Network, which has no idea what it is or where it's supposed to fit in; it's sort of the TV equivalent of that one chick in your high school who came back from summer vacation every year with a new look goth, new wave, ska, raver, whatever yet was never capable of upgrading her perpetually invisible, unpopular status.

Hollywood Out of Ideas, Part LXVII: As if news that Ice Cube is going to remake Welcome Back, Kotter wasn't troubling enough, try this on for size: J. Lo, Luke Wilson, John Travolta and Shirley MacLaine are all in various stages of the offer/negotiations process for a movie version of Dallas, with Travolta trying to pour his fifteen-gallon head into JR Ewing's ten-gallon hat. Someone please burn down this place immediately (Hollywood or Dallas, whatever works best). [Variety]
Universal vice chairman Marc Shmuger in in talks to take over the departed (for DreamWorks, not dead) Stacey Snider's job at the studio. Though he's silent on the matter, we assume he's not at all interested in taking Gail Berman's gig at Paramount. [THR]
But what I really want to do is create immersive, movie-inspired experiences for giant casinos: Director James Cameron will "executive produce" the iPort theme park for a Singapore gambling concern. [Variety]
The ratings numbers from Sunday night are in, and it appears that Desperate Housewives took a Nielsen baseball bat to the knees of HBO's The Sopranos. Not that you can really compare premium cable apples to network oranges, especially when our beloved mobsters come out looking not as good as we'd like, but there you have it. [THR]
The conservative watchdog kooks at the protest-happy American Family Association had no troubling following Las Vegas' move to Friday nights, urging its members to carpetbomb the FCC with more than 100,000 complaints about a strip club scene. [Variety]

Paul Haggis is in final negotiations to direct and produce the adaptation of counterterrorist adviser Richard Clarke's Against All Enemies for Columbia. Before you sigh with relief that Haggis isn't writing the project, take note: he's "supervising" writer James Vanderbilt, leaving plenty of opportunity for him to spin the tale of terrorists who blow things up because that's the only way they can truly connect with their fellow human beings. [Variety]
Even Alicia Silverstone gets another chance during pilot season: Silverstone joins ABC women-in-the-workplace comedy Pink Collar, Jennifer Coolidge signs up for Fox's comedy If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home Now (real title TBD, we'd guess), and Shawn Hatosy also goes for Fox comedy in Southern Comfort. [THR]
Variety Censorship Minute: The Stone in China, The Simpsons in the Middle East, Catholics vs The DaVinci Code, and more! [Variety]
· Everyone without access to The Sopranos premiere (or without friends with HBO) watched Grey's Anatomy last night, which pulled an even better number than fading lead-in Desperate Housewives. [THR]
Diddy, Ben Silverman, and NBC team up for television's latest foray into the hot Celebrities Performing Tasks For Which They're Ill-Suited genre for Celebrity Cooking Showdown, a mix of (do we even need to explain?) Iron Chef and Dancing with the Stars. The lineup of washed-up celebs willing to scald themselves in the name of programming fads has yet to be announced. [Variety]

• Oscar-winner George Clooney takes to the Huffington Post, where he lobs an eloquent "fuck you" to all Democrats who voted for the war. If Clooney blogs, does that make it sexy? Or does it make him less sexy? Discuss. [Lowdown]
• Lindsay Lohan insists she's not wearing hookerpants, but she does find "the act of love" to be "groovy." If we didn't know better, we'd say that sort of talk reeks of virginity. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Britney Spears tightens husband Kevin Federline's allowance, only giving him enough to buy three wifebeaters a day. [Page Six]
• Is the end nigh for Florent, the original gem of the Meatpacking District? [Gatecrasher]
• Alexis Glick, a former contender for Katie Couric's Today show throne, has been banished to MSNBC. [Page Six]
• Sharon Stone says her nude scenes in Basic Instinct 2 should be "disturbing." No worries there. [Scoop]

After a "stunningly weak" return to the schedule this week, NBC has again yanked Joey, signalling that the network has probably euthanized the comatose series. NBC, however, will maintain its commitment to programming featuring the mentally challenged by picking up eight more episodes of Deal or No Deal., the gameshow in which contestants scream at briefcases for no apparent reason. [Variety]
The Weinsteins are bringing a musical version of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to Broadway—hopefully, this will be a classy production and not just a flimsy excuse for Harvey Weinstein to sing showtunes in a kimono. [Variety]
Old TV faces in new pilot places: Dylan "I'm Not McDreamy" McDermott, Kim Cattrall, and Wendie Mallick all sign up for ABC projects. [THR]
Two Ryan Adams fans are indicted for premature enthusiasm after leaking some of Adams' new album on the internet before its release.[THR]
Revisiting The Slump (or if you prefer, "The Slump"): The MPAA reports that marketing costs rose 5.2% last year while attendance and ticket sales fell, indicating that the studios' ploys to cover up for shitty movies with increased promotion was largely unsuccessful. We'd feel good about this, but we know that they're just going to blitz us with more Shaggy DA ads until we return to the theaters in acceptable numbers. [Variety]

Protesting janitors from NBC Studios and Universal CityWalk have started the Picking Up After the Peacock blog to bring attention to their labor dispute with the media conglomerate. They've posted some photos (like the one above) of yesterday's picketing of CityWalk (motto: The Fourth Or Fifth Happiest Place In The Greater Los Angeles Area), a march that was no doubt jarring for the neon-dazed tourists who had to decide whether to believe the janitors protesting low wages and poor benefits or the nearby NBC Uni officials assuring them that this was a simulated demonstration to supplement their "Local Labor Strife Food Court," and that their hosing down of the sign-wielding throng was merely routine maintenance of the living exhibit.

Watch it now, before NBC takes it away. God forbid the the show garners any positive buzz.

• Why is it that one of the most powerful women in the world is still doing interviews about her weight, diet, and workout regime? Because her triceps are fucking awesome, that's why. [Wonkette]
• For their 10th anniversary issue, Fast Company loses their mind and lets photographer Phil Toledo disturb the hell out of everyone. Babies may be cute, but baby-suits are not. [Young Manhattanite]
• Our globe-trotting brother at Gridskipper is looking for some sacrificial virgins for internships. Go forth and impress the hell out of him. [Gridskipper]
• NBC White House correspondent David Gregory never calls Don Imus without first enjoying a nice glass of Alize. [Drudge]
• Coinciding with the release of the film version of The Da Vinci Code is its corresponding porn video, The Da Vinci Load. Considering both star Tom Hanks, it'll be tough to choose which to see first. [Book Standard]
• Live MSNBC facing death? [TMZ]
• Deconstructing the HuffPo scholarship. [Snarksmith]
• Smokey Fontaine takes over the helm at Giant; Robert Goulet to assume managing duties. And then there's a rumored merger with Complex, which would be cool just for the sake of having a magazine called Giant Complex. It'd be a must read for everyone in media. [Mediaweek]

• The New Republic has its first "bloodless transition" of editors in many years, as nebbishy-novelist-brother Franklin Foer takes over for incumbent Peter Beinart, on whose watch the magazine lost 40 percent of its circ. [NYT/NYO]
• Sale of Spin closes today for "well under $5 million." In 1997, it was sold for $42 million. [Ad Age]
• Jack Shafer is bored with Barney Calame now, too. [Slate]
• NBC's Winter Olympics coverage had worst ratings in nearly 20 years. [USAT]
• Online ads are getting more expensive. Which is a trend we can only endorse. [NYP]

Last night, American figure skater and suspected Kabbalahist Sasha Cohen took two heartbreaking falls in her long program, losing her gold medal lead and settling instead for silver. But if you didn't know that by now, you're a goddamned commie.

While some would be content to relegate Britney Spears to the dustbin of forgotten pop-tart history, as you can plainly see from these images made available by blogger mykeywood, Spears has managed to pull herself together nicely for her guest star turn as a Christian TV personality on an upcoming Will & Grace. (1) Britney makes sure her very real wedding ring is visible in every take in order to offset tabloid rumors. (2) The costume department comes to the rescue of a forgetful Spears with a cleverly fashioned scarf upon which all of her dialogue was printed, somewhat annoying co-stars Sean Hayes and Eric McCormack. (3) Between takes, Britney had the exhausted studio audience on their feet with her sexed-up version of "I'm a Little Teapot." (4) Sadly, an increasingly diva-like Debra Messing refused to share even a minute of screen time with her sexy blonde co-star, so cutting-edge blue screen technology was employed, allowing Grace to be added in post.

Who hasn't, at one time or another, regretted leaving an irate voicemail, firing off an angry e-mail, or issuing an open letter to the media viciously lambasting a longtime friend for ruining a golden reality show spin-off opportunity? Not Donald Trump, however, in whose universe cooler heads never prevail. The Donald follows up his blisteringly personal attack on Martha Stewart not with a reparative olive branch, but with an interview with Newsweek.com today that quickly turns into yet another ad hominem Martha attack, even more vitriolic than the first:

Like Godzilla taking sucker swats at Mothra high above the New York skyline as innocent pedestrians run screaming for their lives, Manhattan's two towering media titans, Donald Trump and Martha Stewart, are embroiled in a gigantic public battle over the blame for the failure of her version of The Apprentice. Martha arguably threw down the gardening gloves first, with comments in the current Newsweek stating that she thought Donald was supposed to be fired at the start of her season: "Having two Apprentices was as unfair to him as it was unfair to me. But Donald really wanted to stay on." But it was Trump's open letter response an unleashed torrent of seething resentment that even makes reference to her crimes that elevated it from a good-natured, competitive spat between friends and into the realm of disturbing personal attack. People reprints it in its entirety, but here are some highlights:

King Kong star Naomi Watts will serve as honorary chair of this year's Independent Spirit Awards, where up-and-comer Peter Jackson's intimate tale of the love between a struggling actress and a gorilla with a severe glandular disorder was curiously shut out. [Variety]
Saffron Burrows, Jada Pinkett Smith and Liv Tyler are in final negotiations to star in Reign O'er Me, the Adam Sandler 9/11 movie we still can't quite wrap our minds around. [THR]
NBC has posted the pilot episode of the Dick Wolf series Conviction to iTunes Store, where potential viewers can download it for free, then spend the two weeks until the show's premiere telling friends how totally awesome it is, thus making the series a huge hit for the struggling, technology-crazy network. [Variety]
Agents are livid about some new language in actors' pilot contracts, fearing that the networks will use their clients' in-character images to whore for Pepsi on cell-phones. [THR]
The American Cinema Editors reward Crash's editor for saving Paul Haggis' movie from becoming a movie-of-the-week on the Heavy-Handed Race Parable Network. [Variety]

With everyone on High Hoax Alert in the wake of the James Frey/JT Leroy scandals, the credibility of Rupert Murray's documentary Unknown White Male, about a friend of the director who suddenly developed amnesia, is being questioned. [Variety]
12-time Saturday Night Live host Alec Baldwin is in "final negotiations" to star with Tina Fey in her untitled behind-the-scenes-at-an-SNL-like-show pilot for NBC, which is obviously planning an all-behind-the-scenes-at-an-SNL-like-show programming block, having already ordered 13 episodes of Aaron Sorkin's behind-the-scenes-at-an-SNL-like-show series, Studio 60. [THR]
Gone Baby Gone writer/director Ben Affleck hooks up brother Casey with a role, ensuring that the family will continue to have at least one actor working in Hollywood. [Variety]
2.1 million watch Dick Cheney's post attorney-hunting interview on Fox News, prompting the right-wing news organization to plan a series of sweeps specials in which powerful Republicans shoot people in the face. [THR]
· It's official: the new Bond girl is Eva Green (tip to horny guys: go rent The Dreamers right now, she may never spend 30 percent of a movie naked again), sparing Bond villain Mads Mikkelsen from having to go through with the sex change operation necessary to play both roles convincingly. [Variety]