· Sony, Paramount and Warner Bros. are cutting back on movie releases for the Sony PSP handheld video game system, turning fans of squinty-entertainment to the downloadable promise of the video iPod. [Variety]
· American Idol and House beat NBC's Olympics coverage by a wide margin in the ratings. Health officials now express concern that audiences will soon choose watching the reality show over doing anything else, including eating and breathing. [Variety]
· Requiem for a Dream director Darren Aronofsky gets first-look shingle at Universal, nearly passes out fantasizing about the possibilities of big budget Jared Leto-getting-his-arm-sawed-off sequences. [Variety]
· Pilot season casting frenzy: Teri Polo in CBS' Welcome to the Jungle Gym (get it?), Connie Britton in NBC's Friday Night Lights, and Daryl Sabara in TBS' Boy's Life. [THR]
· CBS and NBC shake up their schedules, with CBS moving Out of Practice and Courting Alex (the who now, what now?) to Wednesday, and NBC extending a show we've heard of, The Office, to May. [THR]

· Skeletal Viacom executive presence Sumner Redstone's son Brent commits legal patricide, suing his old man to dissolve National Amusements, the family's holding company. After Redstone has the traitorous offspring quietly disposed of for his treachery, he then confronts a touchy choice between adopting Viacom CEO Tom Freston or CBS Corp's Les Moonves to replace him in the family. [Variety]
Bambi II (note: the straight-to-video Disney sequel, not the adult-oriented exploration of how many cable repairmen can pleasure a horny housewife at one time) moves 2.5 million DVDs and videos in its 1st week. [Variety]
Writer David Benioff will Americanize the Danish film Brothers for Columbia, a deal that NY Magazine's Intelligencer says will earn Benioff $2 million. Not a bad payday for doing a find-and-replace to convert all the Janniks to Jacks. [Variety]
Jeff Goldblum is in final negotiations to star in the NBC pilot Seeing Red as a suitably "eccentric, brilliant" cop who can talk to dead victors—think Ghost Whisperer, but, you know, with Goldblum instead of Jennifer Love Hewitt's psychic rack. [THR]
Variety speculates that a press conference for the new 007 flick could contain an announcement about who's playing the next Bond girl, whether it's rumored frontrunners Eva Green or Olivia Wylde, or a surprise choice like Die Another Day director Lee Tamahori. [Variety]

· Universal might once again be reviving American Gangster (a project the studio previously killed in late 2004), this time with Ridley Scott directing and Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington as stars. [Variety]
· The Specialty Division Formerly Known As Paramount Classics picks up the documentary An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore's charismatic romp through the side-splitting world of global warming. [THR]
· Fox ignores the interstellar disaster of Pluto Nash and will risk sending Eddie Murphy into outer space in Starship Dave, the story of "a crew of miniature human-looking aliens who are seeking a way to save their doomed world." There is no mention of a fat suit, talking animals, or precocious day-care residents, so we're a little nervous about this one. [Variety]
· NBC's coverage of Olympic figure skating trounces Fox's coverage of semi-celebrities flailing about on ice skates. [THR]
· Hilarity is sure to ensue when Fox imports the British Archie Bunker (aka "The Pub Landlord") and strands him in the unfamiliar environs of Santa Monica. Also, David Ogden Stiers, Balthazar Getty, and Chazz Palmintieri all find gainful, if temporary, employment in pilots. [Variety]

· Amidst the expected, ugly fight for incredibly scarce Oscar tickets, a philosopher is born: "Any system that produces a wide range of unhappy people is probably pretty fair. If everyone is equally unhappy, then maybe we're doing it right," said the Academy's executive administrator. [Variety]
NBC's ratings for the Winter Olympics are deemed "so-so," especially when compared to the demographic-attracting monsters Lost, American Idol, CSI, and Desperate Housewives. And in case you were wondering, the semi-secret Friday night Arrested Development finale finished up the series' Fox run with a ratings "whimper." [THR]
NBC's Kevin Reilly has been "drinking the Kool-Aid" (not the Guayana Suicide Punch flavor, yet), lusting at the downloading prospects of new, serialized Dick Wolf Hollywood crime drama Power. Will hard-boiled cops and harder-boiled fake tits play on a three-inch screen? Reilly's betting on it. [Variety]
Feel free to ignore any story that leads with the words "Skeet Ulrich has been tapped to star," because it only goes downhill from there. (I.e., Mark Feuerstein's next career move is mentioned.) [THR]
And the award for Filthiest-Sounding Title for a Series of Articles goes to Variety, for "Nurturing the Niche." [Variety, Variety]

• Icahn and Wasserstein unveil plan to break up Time Warner into four separate companies: Cable systems, entertainment products, AOL, and Time Inc. And if Time Inc. is alone again, maybe they'll even bring back the drinks cart. Please? [NYT]
• Brangelina spawn's baby pix likely to go for up to $4 million. Even our own mother doesn't think ours are worth that much. [NYP]
• More Page Six is coming! More Page Six is coming! Also, David Carr is a quasi-TV star. [NYO]
• God bless the web, which is saving the two non-Murdoch news networks. Also, Dick Cavett thinks Brokaw was drunk. [NYO]
• Why is Brian Williams, not the traditional Katie Couric, Bob Costas' sidekick for the Olympics opening parade? Either because Katie is busy with morning work, as NBC says, or maybe because the peacock doesn't want to build up anchor who's about to bolt. [Chicago Tribune]
• Tom Ford looks like Jeremy Piven, according to VF focus groupers. [WWD]

Clearly inspired by the endless parade of swishy, lunatic-costumed circus freaks who both torture and delight us at the start of every American Idol season, Simon Cowell has announced his newest reality show competition will be the search for the next Siegfried and Roy:

You've been in this situation countless times: You've just labored through a meeting with some blank-faced NBC development people who are convinced that your brilliant idea "doesn't smell like a show," and, pacing the cold streets of Burbank, you're surprised to see that the frustrating encounter has made you visibly aroused. Covering up your unexpected tumescence with a copy of that day's Variety, you wonder where you can go for for relief. Never again shall you beat off in frustration in the Peacock's parking garage:

Not two days after news that Britney Spears would be appearing on an upcoming episode of Will & Grace playing a loony, bible-thumping TV host who "decides to do a cooking segment called 'Cruci-fixin s,'" loony, bible-thumping advocacy group The American Family Association has begun its protests:

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, you can either purchase a heart-shaped Whitman's sampler and plop chocolate after chocolate into your face in a bitter party-of-one feeding frenzy, or do what we do: Give yourself over to romance! And what better way to accomplish this than by sending out these Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit-themed cards ($10 for the whole set) to the many objects of your affection. Yes, they might be mildly put off when they tear open the envelope and first catch a glimpse of the stars of the sex crime-specific detective series staring back out at them, but in the end, who could deny Richard Belzer's adorable mug, especially when paired with his playful salutation: "HEY CUTIE!"

In an inspired pairing of two perpetually annoying things that seemingly refuse to go away, Britney Spears will be making her scripted, primetime TV debut on an upcoming episode of Will & Grace, following in the illustrious footsteps of such gay pop icons as Madonna and Janet Jackson, who also used the series to showcase their complete lack of comic timing:

· Yesterday, there was chatter that Revolution was going down. The details on Rev's "limbo," according to Var: They will release 13 already finished or in-production films via Sony over the next two years, they've ceased development while the studio "tries to figure out its future" (read: bye bye), and Joe Roth is "hammering out" his "future production arrangement" at Sony. And you can stop holding your breath: Rocky Balboa is among the saved projects. [Variety]
· Get ready for some hilarious, improvised bits about bushy mustaches and lisping riffs on the Rough Riders: Robin Williams will play Teddy Roosevelt alongside Ben Stiller in the Fox comedy A Night at the Museum. [THR]
·MGM president Dan Taylor, who oversaw the transition of the studio to Sony, "ankles" the Lion. Really, we never get tired of the ankling. [Variety]
· There is no reason to read any story with the title "'Big Momma' said knock you out." [THR]
· NBC gives a 13 episode commitment to the Aaron Sorkin/Thomas Schlamme behind-the-scenes-at-an-SNLesque-show series, which has lost the name Studio 7, but gained Matthew Perry, Steven Weber, and DL Hughley as stars. [Variety]

Working at NBC Universal Entertainment seems like it might be a lot of fun. You get back from lunch, excuse yourself to the restroom for a little digestive toke, then, full of inspiration, return to your desk with a new entry for the Idea Box, your internet red-phone to corporate decisionmakers desperate for inspiration. You type, "I think that it would be rad if whenever people from HR communicate with us, they'd pretend that they were characters from one of our shows. Like the borderline psychopath guy from The Office." Days later, your wildest dreams become reality:

· With the creation of The CW reducing the network TV field from six to five, there's mixed reaction about the news. Unhappy: those losing their jobs, and those looking for jobs in a smaller employer pool. Happy: those who think that a single, stronger fifth network is better long-term than two crappy also-rans, those who had trouble setting up projects at The WB and UPN, anyone whose show isn't getting canceled because of the merger. [Variety]
· The CW announcement "rocks" NATPE, where the syndication convention attendees get all hot and bothered over the prospect that affiliates will need an increased amount of programming. Hottub parties to follow. [THR]
· Sundance update: The New Miramax shells out $3 million for The Night Listener; meanwhile, the documentary market seems soft with no filmmakers willing to live with penguins or to eat only fast food for 30 days. [Variety]
· NBC gives the pill-popping minister and Cool Jesus of The Book of Daniel a one-way ticket to cancellation hell. [THR]
· Reporting that American Idol's ratings are huge is a little like noting the sun rising in the morning or the horror of rush-hour traffic on the 405, but so it goes: AI pulls in over 34 million viewers, trouncing all competitors. [Variety]
· Strange choice of the day: Austin Powers/Meet the Parents/Fockers director Jay Roach is attached to direct the film about W. Mark Felt, more commonly known as "Deep Throat" for Universal and Playtone. [Variety]

· We thought that there was no new territory to mine in Brokeback Mountain parodies, but Brokeback Squadron, the unforgettable tale of a couple of hotshot pilots' forbidden love, can be our wingman any time.
· The Blowing Smoke blog gets an advance look at The CW's Fall schedule.
· The very brave Brooke Shields risks Tom Cruise's renewed wrath by preparing to bring yet another child into the world.
· Meanwhile in other baby-related news, Meg "America's Sweetheart, Before All The Chilling Plastic Surgery" Ryan gets it all wrong by adopting a Chinese baby. You're supposed to go Cambodian, Meg. Have you learned nothing from Angelina?
· Meanwhile In other Angelina Jolie-related news, Film Stew says Jolie extorted People into giving money to charity in exchange for bump pics.
· ABC's Steve McPherson has the hots for John Stamos, but might lose him to NBC's Kevin Reilly.

My Name Is Earl has just shut down production, because its star, Jason Lee, has come down with a highly contagious case of adult chickenpox:

The great circle of network television life continues, with the recent loss of two underperforming series: Lumbering giant and one-time king of the primetime jungle The West Wing has finally succumbed to a long stretch of low ratings and the death of one of its leads. But like a lame-legged baby zebra struggling to keep up with the herd as a pack of predatory executives stealthily approach it from all sides, the cancellation of the heavily-promoted ABC comedy Emily's Reasons Why Not after just a single episode airing seemed particularly barbaric, and prompted a justification from ABC network head Steve McPherson:

· Not so fast, Glory Road! The Weinstein Co.'s Hoodwinked squeezes past Jerry Bruckheimer's uplifting basketball flick at the MLK holiday weekend box office. [Variety]
· David Chase says this is the last season of The Sopranos, no matter how much money HBO throws at him to stretch out the series into "bonus" mini-seasons. No, for real this time! [THR]
· CBS Corp. officially changes the name of its studio arm to CBS Paramount Television. Meanwhile, Brad Grey is considering starting a new TV division over at the real Paramount, which we're sure will be something suitably retaliatory, like Paramount Pictures' Fuck CBS TV. [Variety]
· X-Files creator Chris Carter sues 20th Century Fox TV for breach of contract, contractual interference and other claims over funds he claims to be owed. He alleges that 20th reneged on their deal because the terms were "too favorable" to Carter, i.e., they forgot to include the proper, obscure contract language to thoroughly but legally screw him out of money. [THR]
· Moving the Golden Globes to Monday to avoid the oncoming Nielsen freight train of Desperate Housewives pays off, with NBC winning the night despite a challenge from 24. [Variety]

· As chattered about yesterday, UTA agent Marty Bowen leaves the agency for a producing deal at New Line (with Davis Entertainment president Wyck Godfrey). Kudos to Var for apparently digging up Bowen's Godfrey's high school yearbook photo (at left—update: we obviously had no idea what either of them look like) to illustrate their story. Update: A more recent picture of Godfrey is here. [Variety]
· Steven Spielberg will executive produce another Sci Fi Channel miniseries, this time about grieving people who find a way to reconnect with their departed loved ones via near-death experiences, Nine Lives. We still prefer to commune with the dead through Jennifer Love Hewitt's rack. [THR]
· Midseason Series DeathWatch: ABC will yank Emily's Reasons Why Not and Jake in Progress after just one airing to re-run the Bachelor season premiere on Monday, but the shows are "scheduled" to return on Jan. 23rd. You know, unless more compelling opportunities to replace Monday Night Football with reality show repeats present themselves. [Variety]
· West Coast exec VP Marc Graboff is promoted to West Coast president of NBC Universal TV. In related news, NBC president Kevin Reilly still has his job, for now. [THR]
· Like the desperate guy who starts calling a girl who just gave up the digits before she's even left the bar, Showtime sends out its Emmy screeners an unprecedented five months early. [Variety]
· In the New Line romantic comedy Bridge and Tunnel, Jennifer Lopez will star as a stock trader HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No, really! J Lo as a stock trader! Sorry, did we just lose our shit a little? Yes, we did. [Variety]

· Variety does its best to sift through the continuing fallout from Paramount's DreamWorks acquisition. Paramount insiders deny that Brad Grey #2 Gail Berman's job is already at stake (despite the loud whisper of the moment that she might be axed and replaced by DW producer Walter Parkes, but shhhh, that's just a nasty rumor). And as for the problem of redundancy in jobs across DreamWorks and Paramount, "department heads from both studios were required to turn over names of employees in their division. The lists are being combed over to see which employee is a stronger candidate, the current Paramount employee or the DreamWorks staffer." After five minutes of dramatic head-scratching and thoughtful harumphing, the Paramount list will be run through a shredder and offices will be cleared to make way for the DW staffers. It's nonstop fun and excitement on the Melrose lot! [Variety]
· NBC will air a record 416 hours of Winter Olympics coverage across its many networks, meaning that you, the incredibly bored viewer, might not miss a single minute of people in spandex sliding down ice chutes in a dizzying variety of positions. [THR]
· Reclusive move star Julia Roberts considers returning to her long abandoned career to star opposite Tom Hanks in Charlie Wilson's War, possibly for her Closer director Mike Nichols. If she's going to hand the twins over to a nanny to go back to work, she's not gonna fuck around. [Variety]
· With just weeks until shooting, the producers of the new, Daniel Craig-starring Bond remake Casino Royale are sleeping with actresses as fast as they can to find a new Bond Girl. [Variety]
· FX has already purchased the cable rights to 2006 summer blockbuster-to-be Superman Returns for a reported $17-25 million. guaranteeing the network first crack at cramming the Bulge of Steel onto the small screen. [Variety]

· NBC president Kevin Reilly rearranges some deck chairs on his primetime Titanic, with exec VP of development Ghen Maynard and senior VP of comedy Cheryl Dolins being de-Peacocked. Reilly, it seems, is not quite ready to fire himself. Give it time. [Variety]
· Fox gives a cast-contingent order to latest ——-ing With the Stars reality idea, Simon Cowell's Duets, wherein a "star" performs a song with a professional singer in front of a panel of judges. Pending results for the network's Skating With Celebrities, an ice-skating component may be added to maximize cynicism. [THR]
· Warner Bros. rescues the Maurice Sendak-approved Spike Jonze/Dave Eggers adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are from Universal's turnaround. Huzzah! (Really.) [Variety]
· You can stop holding your breath now. The WB has netted its Aquaman! [THR]
· Paramount is still working on deal to sell the DreamWorks library to help defray the cost of their holiday impulse studio buy, is in talks to get George Sorosto pony up about a billion or so dollars for the rights. [Variety]