While we shake our heads at the consistently uncomfortable "gotcha!" programming about the dangers of online pedophiles, NPR plays the voice of reason:

Today's Wall Street Journal examines NBC's fucking-or-fighting relationship with YouTube, a union best illustrated by NBC's insistence that the site take down SNL's "Lazy Sunday" video after YouTube had built it into a viral sensation that quickly spawned unspeakably lame imitations, all while the network was negotiating to buy ads and provide authorized content to the video sharing service in hopes of replicating the clip's success. An NBC executive does his best to explain the attraction/repulsion they feel for such sites:

Michael Moore's Palm d'Or-winning indictment of the Bush administration, Fahrenheit 9/11, is still a source of controversy two years after its release. Sgt. Peter Damon, a mechanic who lost his arms in a freak accident repairing a Blackhawk helicopter, is suing multiple parties including Moore and NBC (to whom he gave the interview) for $175 million for misrepresenting his position on the war:

• We really don't want today to end, if only so that everyone can continue to hyper-analyze Katie Couric's insane farewell on the Today show. [BWE]
• A new theory on Brangelina: did she have a C-Section because she didn't want to give baby Shiloh herpes? And did she give herpes to Brad Pitt? Was that how Jen Aniston found out he was cheating? Could we be any more stupid about this whole thing? [OhNoTheyDidn't]
• Martha Stewart puts her Westport, CT home up for sale for a mere $8.9 million. But you'll have to pay extra to have that hideous wallpaper removed. [FishbowlNY]
• In the soft underbellies of New York's hipster havens, there are at least 3 people who don't drink. Granted, you won't see these folks on the Cobrasnake — but dammit, they're out there. [VV]
• Give K-Fed a shower and a comb, and he could be dominating the halls of Goldman Sachs. [Us Weekly]
• Memoirist Augusten Burroughs indulges the girls at Jane with a message board Q&A, wherein we learn that he doesn't know how to spell per se. Not that we should talk, but then again, we have a lot less money and a much bigger chip on our shoulders. [Jane]
• With all these celebrity babies being spit out left and right, a career in child therapy — especially with a Beverly Hills practice — may prove to be very lucrative. [The Letter D]
• During its last launch, Radar housed its visiting web designers at the opulent Hotel Carter. This time around, maybe the Chinatown Best Western? [Flickr]
• Presented without comment, a Vincent Gallo blog. Oh hell, we can't not comment — it's really creepy. [I Blew Vincent Gallo]

· Paramount is putting together a deal with Mike Myers to co-write and star in comedy about a "new age guru" character named Pitka, crossing its fingers that Myers won't eventually suffer another ugly Dieter-style freakout that ends in a bunch of lawsuits. [Variety]
· Columbia Pictures buys the top-secret "fraternal twins" script Jack and Jill for Adam Sandler's Happy Madison to produce and as a potential starring vehicle for Sandler. [THR]
· MGM already seems tired of its relationship with Sony, acting out against its loss of independence by snatching back its home video rights and messing around with Fox for DVD distribution. Next week, MGM plans on having Sony walk in while it screws the pool boy, just to make sure it gets the message. [Variety]
· Viewers in the key demographic prefer NBC's Last Comic Standing premiere to the reruns offered by other networks. Break out the champagne, NBC! A win is a win. [THR]
· Russell Crowe leaves Baz Luhrmann's Australian period epic over "disagreements" with 20th Century Fox, which we are contractually obligated to mention did not include physical violence. We think. [Variety]

AdAge reports today that Katie Couric's goodbye isn't just massaging her ego; it's also giving a healthy rub and a happy ending to NBC, which has more than doubled its ad rates for today's episode of the Today show. 30 seconds of air time went for $110K, with the network selling off the last of its available space sometime last week.

Pull the tissue out of your bras and ready it somewhere near to your eyes: today, May 31, is Katie Couric's last day at the Today show. And by God, if they don't make you dry heave with sobs, some clip reel editor is going to lose a testicle. As of right now, they're running testimonials from 9-11 and Columbine victims who were touched by Katie's sensitivity during their old Today interviews; Couric is tearing as The Way We Were unabashedly plays in the background. Sarah McLachlan can't be far behind. Actually, no — it's just Kristin Chenowith is warbling about how she's been "changed for good." Music from Wicked? Subtle.

· Variety leads with the story, "Will 'Code' erode?," which asks how X-Men: The Last Stand will fare at the box office this weekend opposite the still strong Da Vinci Code. Leading us to wonder out loud, "Does the mere posing of a question really qualify as a news story?" Or, for that matter, a lame trade round-up joke? [Variety]
· NBC's program-grid shell game has their competitors snickering behind their scrawny, fourth place ass. But it could well be they who laughs last, when Super Deal or No Deal, featuring a stadium of 1000 models holding briefcases containing amounts from $.01 to $1,000,000,000, devours the Thursday 6 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. time slot. [Variety]
· Canadian networks divvy up this year's American TV offerings, then frantically futz with their schedules in an adorable attempt at mimicking the habits of their neighbor to the south. [Variety]
· Morgan Freeman is close to signing on to Gone, Baby, Gone, Ben Affleck's directorial debut from a script he wrote, answering the age old question, "How many motorcycles does it take to get Morgan Freeman to star in your big comeback vehicle?" [THR]
· Les Moonves tells shareholders that CBS has gotten off to "a terrific start" since its divorce from Viacom, a less than subtle dig at rival Tom Freston. And somewhere in Heaven, the legend goes, the Angel of Corporate Honcho Harmony yelps in pain as a clump of wing feathers is instantly torn off. [THR]

The NY Times delves into NBC's unprecedented rejiggering of their fall schedule, which began with a scuttling of Aaron Sorkin's drama-about-a-comedy Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip away from the Thursday night competition, and, like a bored, jittery housewife on a furniture-rearranging rampage, led to drastic tinkering with the rest of the schedule :

Having found himself in the unenviable position of having his peacock messiah, Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, grabbed by its feathered neck and thrown into a Burbank back alley for a proposed cockfight with ABC's unstoppable Grey's Anatomy, NBC president Kevin Reilly has finally succumbed to the deadly game of network programming chicken, moving 60 from the Thursday at 9 p.m. slot to the more poultry-friendly waters of Mondays at 10 p.m.:

This week marks Katie Couric's last at the Today show, meaning that as of 8 AM this morning, you have approximately a mere 9 HOURS LEFT with AMERICA'S SWEETHEART. Prepare to bury yourself in snot-stained kleenex: the world's longest farewell parade has come down to just a matter of days, all of which have been marked by video tribute clips from Couric's A-list fans. Last week we saw the likes of Tim Russert and Dakota Fanning express their fandom (providing the latter with an invaluable opportunity to crookedly mug and twitter in a cunning play to nab the role of America's next cloying sweetheart); this week ups the drama with Couric's more fancy fans singing her praises. Senator Hillary Clinton was just featured, remarking on the woes of powerful women and their ever-changing hair and adding, "You've taken us to the Olympics, and you've taken us to your colon. Not many people can say that." And thank God.

Tonight marks the end of the line for Will & Grace, and few could deny that it has succeeded in its eight-year mission to use the power of the double entendre to guide America towards a more tolerant climate for The Gays, and the gay-making activities they partake in behind closed doors. (Decorating, brunching, mercilessly sassing each other, etc...) Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood recalls the upfronts when the pilot was first presented to advertisers, which was artfully edited to remove any reference to Will's homosexuality. "It was only when I walked out of the presentation and went to the NBC after-party that I learned that Jack wasn't the only gay character," she writes. (Which leads us to question Finke's gaydar calibration: C'mon, now...McCormack??) Talking to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Will himself corroborates her story:

When NBC's Kevin Reilly made a bold move in the chess match that is this week's fall schedule announcements at the upfronts by advancing his most beloved pawn, Aaron Sorkin's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, into the 9 p.m. Thursday night slot, ABC's Steve McPherson responded by picking up his queen, Grey's Anatomy, and tossing it into Reilly's face. NBC hasn't officially retreated, but the LAT's Scott Collins blogs that some think that Reilly may ultimately concede the position to the competition:

During yesterday's upfronts presentation from CBS, the advertisers and press got an interesting treat: Les Moonves brought out his incoming news anchor, Katie Couric. On her Times blog, Virginia Heffernan writes of Couric's brief appearance:

We're going to go ever-so-slightly off our beat for just a moment, because a great cultural injustice has been brought upon the press release-receiving people of the world. You see, Access Hollywood sends daily press releases plugging whatever will be on that night's show. Tonight, it's an interview with O.C. starlet Mischa Barton (who coincidentally used to date charming Brandon Davis). Well, that's nice. Except that the email completely spoils tomorrow night's season finale. IN THE SUBJECT LINE. No warning, no looking away, no escape — if you so much as glance at your inbox, Access is going to fuck up your Thursday.

ABC's deliberate strategy of slowing feeding bored, disenchanted Desperate Housewives viewers to the infant Grey's Anatomy monster has finally come to fruition, as the Nielsen beast is now fully grown and ready to be sent out to wreak havoc on the network's competition. At a press conference this morning, ABC announced that it's moving Grey's to 9 p.m. on Thursday, where it will compete with CBS's CSI and, in a realization of NBC president Kevin Reilly's most career-chilling fears, the fledgling Aaron Sorkin drama Studio 60. Reports Var:

• Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton stop disappointingly short of bitchslapping one another on Friday night. Don't worry — soon enough, they'll destroy one another and turn to white dust. [TMZ]
• Barbra Streisand and James Brolin actually talk their way into getting free movie tickets. Even more offensive, they were for M:I:3. [Lowdown]
• NBC's new line-up looks dismal; as punishment for the continued suckage, entertainment chief Kevin Reilly will likely take the fall over Jeff Zucker. That's what you get for not converting. [Page Six]
• Director Brian Grazer is a fan of what some call mantling: placing a framed picture of yourself amongst your hosts' other pictures. [R&M]
• Madonna is spotted in LA without her wedding ring, fueling more speculation about the state of her marriage with Guy Ritchie. Nothing that couldn't be fixed with a romantic hot tub full of Kabbalah water. [Scoop]
• Ja Rule's posse is so dedicated, they'll even slap his bitches for him. [Page Six]

NBC president Kevin Reilly's admission of scheduling fear at the upfronts seems to have opened the door for his own employees to take some pokes at him. Blogs the LAT:

NBC might be inspiring poetry in some of its underlings, but at the top of the executive food chain, there still seems to be a touch of post-traumatic stress disorder following their cellar-dwelling season. At NBC's upfront presentation earlier today, president Kevin Reilly explained how too many shakedowns for his Nielsen milk money by the other network bullies informed his decision to go with just two sitcoms on their traditionally comedy-heavy Thursday night. Reports the LAT:

The promise of the wiping clean of the Nielsen slate accompanying the announcement of their fall schedule seems to have raised morale over at fourth-place NBC, as the network's new programming inspired one anonymous staffer to burst into verse and share his or her infectious enthusiasm with co-workers via e-mail. Who needs to pin their hopes to the mercurial Aaron Sorkin when fresh voices like this are waiting to lead a Peacock renaissance?