The canned, corny tedium of The Tonight Show was interrupted last night when a female audience member walked on stage and approached Colin Farrell, who was there to promote Miami Vice. While the confrontation never made it to air, a witness recalled, "She said something to Colin Farrell that no one heard, then he took her by the elbow, led her off stage, asked the cameramen to turn off their cameras and asked for security." Access Hollywood.com is now reporting that the woman in question is Dessarae Bradford, author of the classic of the celebrity-stalking-fruitcake canon, My S/M Romp With Alec Baldwin, and singer of "Colin Farrell is My Bitch (I Fucked Alec Baldwin in His Ass)," streaming as we speak on her MySpace page.

Disney employees whose heads are on the chopping block anxiously await their bloody fates, as mass executions are
reportedly scheduled to be conducted next week. [Variety]
The Senate may soon vote on legislation that would require Hollywood to keep track of the ages of actors who pretend to have sex scenes in movies and TV shows. It is unknown if Dakota Fanning can be grandfathered into future rape-related roles should the bill become law. [THR]
George Clooney parts ways with producing partner Steven Soderbergh at Section 8, but is forming new production company Smoke House with Good Night, And Good Luck collaborator/BFF Grant Heslov and sticking around at Warner Bros. The new venture is named for the famous Burbank restaurant, a choice made after an arduous branding process determined that calling the shingle Dimples would be far too cute. [Variety]
NBC's America's Got Talent and Fox's So You Think You Can Dance both trounce ABC's The One in the ratings on Wednesday, a programming block that will soon come to be known as Utterly Unwatchable American Idol Rip-off Night. [THR]
· Canadians do an adorable impression of an American-style studio executive ouster, as Motion Picture Distribution unexpectedly shitcans two of its bigshots. [Variety]

· Lost in the sexier story of Nina Jacobson's firing from Disney yesterday is the fact that 650 other employees will be laid off worldwide. Sadly, Disney lacks the resources to let each employee go with a personal phone call during a happy family occasion, so the soon-to-be axed shouldn't get their hopes up about seeing studio executioner Dick Cook's name pop up on their Caller ID [Variety]
Hollywood studios make their annual trip to Comic-Con in San Diego, where they collect nerd souls in exchange for access to sneak previews of various comic-related movie properties. This year, a glimpse of ten seconds of previously unseen Spider-Man 3 footage is expected to net pledges of eternal fealty from over two dozen dungeon masters. [THR, Variety]
Wall Street happily drenches itself in the blood of slaughtered Disney staffers, helping the company's stock price
jumps 4% after news of their layoffs. Mouse House executives today hope to push the stock price as much as 20 % percent higher by announcing their plans to fire every employee on the payroll. [Variety]
NBC teams with Netflix to give users advance DVD previews of new shows Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Kidnapped, in hopes that viewers will become hooked weeks before the series actually premiere. [THR/AP]
ABC president "Purple" Steve McPherson is happy about all the Emmy attention for Gray's Anatomy, but blue that Lost and Desperate Housewives were slighted by the Academy. [Variety]

From today's Publisher's Lunch, word of the perfect book for those who can't get enough of NBC's awkward vigilante justice against would-be monsters:

It hasn't just been a record-shattering week for movie folks: The Big Four networks have been setting benchmarks themselves recently, though don't expect Variety to fall open to a color, gatefold ad proudly touting the fact that they have just reached the smallest audience in TV history:

PaidContent blogger Rafat Ali has more details on NBC's purchase of Tribe.net (broken by Valleywag last week). Ali says the social site sold for under $50 million — not quite the $500 million-plus that News Corp paid for third-generation social site MySpace last year.

· The trades have Emmy fever! Browse their lists of this year's nominees and join in the fun! [Variety, THR]
· The stars react to their nominations with an refreshing mix of humility, surprise, and surprised humility! Really, it's an honor just to be reading about these nominations. [Variety, THR ]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas, Defiling Christmas Edition: The evil stocking-plunderers at NBC will make a completely unnecessary live-action version of the 1974 stop-motion animation classic The Year Without a Santa Claus, with John Goodman starring as Santa. [Variety]
· David Duchovny, whom we'd assumed had given up acting for a quieter life bagging groceries somewhere in Montana, will join Benicio del Toro and Halle Berry in the highly buzzed about DreamWorks project Things We Lost in the Fire. [THR]
· Dakota Fanning is among 120 new invitees to join AMPAS, all of whom she plans to ruthlessly slaughter in an attempt to show fellow Academy members who's going to be running things for the next forty years. [Variety]

Rumors of Tribe re-hiring its founding prez, followed by news that NBC wants to buy Tribe, set Mark Rumer's mind to work about NBC's motives. The founder and CTO of Occam Networks slices his razor across the rumored deal with the following analysis.

Whoa, dude! Tribe, the social network preferred by Bay Area hippies and ravers, may be a damsel in distress as reported, says a tipster, but NBC is swooping down to whisk Tribe to its castle in the media sky.

• YouTube, the biggest independent Web 2.0 firm that needs a lucrative deal like a hooker needs a free clinic, wins distribution of NBC shows. After NBC's SNL clip "Lazy Sunday" went viral on YouTube (and got yanked), the network finally realized that its viewers all moved to the Internet. [Washington Post]

· Audiences already seem tired of Al Gore telling them of the cataclysms that await us because of global warming. Maybe they can add a meteor the size of Texas hurtling toward Los Angeles in the second act and revive interest. [Variety]
· J.K. Rowling announces that at least two main characters will die in the seventh and final Harry Potter book, and that their names are "Harry" and "Hermione." OK, we made that last part up because it's probably going to wind up being Ron Weasley's twin brothers once her publisher offers her $250 million to do one more book. [THR]
· Halle Berry teams with writer Angela Nissel to develop
an HBO comedy series about "a biracial woman and her two friends as they tackle racial and financial issues post-college." We're not even going to try and make that sound more interesting. [Variety]
· Hell's Kitchen wins Monday night for Fox, beating NBC's Treasure Hunters. We should note that we're officially changing our allegiance from Team Busty Grad Students to Team Busty Miss USA. [THR]
· The director and writer of The Devil Wears Prada film will reteam to adapt further chick lit evil for the big screen, this time for a I Don't Know How She Does It movie. [Variety]

• So it really looks like De Niro and pals will buy the Observer. And Kurt Andersen — like Peter Kaplan — is just thrilled about it. [NYM]
• Michael Eisner pisses off Pat Robertson by having the rightwing preacher on his CNBC show, challenges him on gay rights, whether Jews can get into heaven, and whether it was in fact a good idea to have advocated the assassination of Hugo Chavez. For the first time perhaps ever, we're kind of liking Eisner right now. [NYP]
• NBC honcho Jeff Zucker says he's not worried about Today without Katie, or about Brian Williams competing with her. He also says he's thrilled with NBC's primetime performance, positive the stock market is going up up up, and confident that the Iraq insurgency is in its last throes. [USAT]

· Apple is in negotiations with major studios to move iTunes into film, but the studios don't like Apple's plans to sell all movies for $9.99, wanting to maintain their ability to price "popular content" higher than run-of-the-mill, back-catalogue "crap." [Variety]
· Inside a recent pitch meeting at DreamWorks: "OK, think Groundhog's Day, but with Valentine's Day instead." "Sort of like Groundhog's Day, or exactly like Groundhog's Day?" "Exactly like it." "Sold!" [THR]
· Even World Cup soccer can't dampen the foreign moviegoer's appetite for boring blasphemy, as Da Vinci Code wins its fifth straight weekend at the international box office. [Variety]
· Game 5 of the NBA Finals leads ABC to victory over NBC's and its latest summertime schedule spackle, Treasure Hunters. (Go team Busty Grad Students!) [THR]
· Netflix reveals plans for a subscription-based film downloading box, which would help it compete with cable companies' VOD offerings as well as frustrate all but the most devious of movie-pilfering mail carriers. [Variety]

His makeup job was horrendous this AM on the Today show. He looked like a drag queen.

Well. That was interesting.

The Today show gave an excellent, five-minute teaser of Matt Lauer's Dateline interview with Britney Spears, making us really amped up for tonight's full-length version. We could really use a good cry, and all the better to share it with Brit. But the real star is Lauer, who keeps a straight face throughout the entire affair, even when Spears tries to explain why it was OK to drive with her baby on her lap ("ma bayby," she calls him). A stronger person than we are, Lauer treats Spears with respect, and the man should get a medal for his efforts — though that medal should then be promptly taken away for his attempt to pull off loafers without socks.

· CBS affiliates argue that they shouldn't have to to pay the $3 million fine levied for airing Without a Trace's Very Special Teen Orgy episode because every complaint filed against the show came from the websites of religious crackpot organizations Parents Television Council and the American Family Association, not "real people." And as we all know, real people love nothing better than watching teenagers simulate group sex on network television. [THR]
· Because we know how hot and bothered it makes you to hear about how much advertising time the networks have sold, Fox and CBS have filled 70% of their ad slots, NBC 40%, and ABC is waiting for better offers on Lost and Grey's Anatomy. You may now take five minutes for a cold shower and then return to work. [Variety]
· Fox's Rupert Murdoch decides not to create his own search engine, and instead will choose between Google, Yahoo, and Microsoft to provide search services that will allow MySpace's millions of lurking pedophiles to more efficiently find the profiles of vulnerable teens. Or totally rad emo bands, depending on their mood. [Variety]
· Shitergy Update! Corporate monolith News Corp plans on exploiting every part of its multimedia empire to promote next year's Simpsons movie, including forcing president/COO Peter Chernin to dress as a different Simpsons character each day and speak only in amusing soundbites from the popular animated series. [THR]
· We have no idea what the basic cable series starring Kevin Bacon's wife is about, when it airs, or even what network it's on, but 8.3 million viewers watched its second-season premiere. We've got to start branching out from TiVo'd episodes of Blow Out one of these days. [Variety]

· In mid-July, M:i:III will finally get a non-black-market release in China, though in an edited, more censor-friendly form. The expected changes reportedly involve the removal of some scenes of violence, as well as all mentions of Tom Cruise's character being married to a woman, which Chinese officials have deemed "too far-fetched to be believed by even the most thoroughly brainwashed populace." [THR]
· We're willing to bet that you don't care enough about the Tonys to follow this link and find out who won. [Variety]
· Director Peter Weir exits Johnny Depp's Shantaram project over the obligatory "creative differences," which may or may not involve Weir's uneasiness with Depp's insistence that the only artistically pure way to make a movie about a heroin addict is for all involved to develop debilitating smack habits for the duration of the shoot. [Variety]
· The Da Vinci Code continues its dominance at the foreign box office with another $22 million, performing exceptionally well in territories where translators' interpretations help reduce the feeling that Ron Howard is insulting their intelligence. [THR]
· NBC's new programming continues to flourish against token rerun competition. [Variety]

· Variety assumes Cars will be this weekend's top earner, but wonders if it will beat any box office records, particularly when parents start warning each other of the dark, autopian vision of its ending: [SPOILER!] That the reason it's devoid of any humans is because they're all being ground up for fuel in subterranean farms. [Variety]
· Steven Spielberg tells Sunday Morning Shootout that Paramount was his second choice for DreamWorks' buyout, and that he "would love to go off and make a picture like Capote or George Clooney's Good Night, and Good Luck,"stopping himself before saying, "You know, movies that earn their Oscars, rather than getting nominations because I'm, like, Steven Spielberg." [Variety]
· Former Friends writer and Will & Grace showrunner Greg Malins is joining How I Met Your Mother, where he will school the show's green creators Craig Thomas and Carter Bays on the proper way to describe a blowjob to the writers' room. [Variety]
· Reese Witherspoon's husband is in negotiations to star as the lead in director Kimberly Peirce's first feature since Boys Don't Cry, the Iraq war drama, Stop-Loss. [THR]
· Ratings are up for the NBA finals over last year, with the boost's source suspected of coming from overcompensating, straight men feeling the urge to catch the nearest game after being subjected to an inescapable week of Brandon Routh's suberbulge. [THR]

· Congress passes a bill that raises indecency fines from $32,500 to $325,000 per infraction, causing Les Moonves to rethink his plans for a hilarious "teen orgy" Two and a Half Men sweeps week stunt. [Variety]
· Fox orders a script for a 24 movie from the show's creators, but holds out on a greenlight until after season 6 debuts. Fans rejoice, though the projectionists' union is already up in arms over the prospects of the 144 reels of film they'll be required to load for its proposed running time of 24 hours 7 minutes. [Variety]
· Everything following the first word from this Variety story about the World Cup airing on Univision ("Goooooooal!!!!!!!") was, quite frankly, an o- and !-deficient letdown. [Variety]
· Fox wins the week with So You Think You Can Dance?, a competition best enjoyed on a cocktail of Hydrocodones, Klonopins and vodka, and followed by a good, old fashioned Mama whuppin'. [THR]
· Steve Carell will return to the next season of The Office with his salary more than doubled to around $175,000 per episode, a shooting schedule that accomodates his various movie commitments, and on-call, personal manscaping services from a dutifully indebted Kevin Reilly. [THR]