It took a little longer than expected, but beleaguered NBC Entertainment president/Dwight Schrute-comic-foil Kevin Reilly, who for years was expected to be but one axe-swing away from being ejected from his Burbank offices via medieval catapult, has renewed his contract:

• Surly Maer Roshan only talks to Yusef Jackson. Yusef talks to Ron Burkle. It's called plausible deniability. You know, allegedly. [NYO]
  

It has taken recent international celebrity imports Dave Beckham and his bride, Victoria, practically no time at all to assimilate themselves into our humble artists' community. Likewise, they had only barely begun to unpack their giant moving boxes marked "Dolce & Gabbana Swimsuits" and "Headshots/Misc. Knicknacks" before their doorbell started ringing, alerting them to the presence of friendly neighbors bearing gift baskets brimming with self-improvement literature and vitamins. Not surprisingly, the captivating Victoria—whom close, personal famous friend Tom Cruise has allegedly heralded as a "comic genius"—has instantly found herself the subject of a heated Hollywood bidding war, pitting producer against producer in a feverish attempt to capitalize on her singular talents. The project? Why, a reality show, of course!

We are still two years away from seeing NBC's 11:30 pm-12:30 am slot emerge out from its current holding pattern in a Comedy Ice Age, a long overdue thaw in which Jay Leno's insufferable "stupid man on the street" interviews will finally be replaced by Conan O'Brien's sublime, Horny Manatee sensibilities. But who or what will fill O'Brien's hour remains very much up in the air: With manorexic Carson Daly hardly setting the late-night landscape on fire, NBC has begun to look elsewhere for a possible replacement, including former SNLer Jimmy Fallon. Reports the NY Times:

· Imagine's Brian Grazer will superproduce an utterly unneeded "American version" of the film Cache for Universal, from which partner Ron Howard will drain all nuance by "amp[ing] up the suspense and consequences" should he choose to direct it. [Variety]
· Satellite Radio Mergermania! Sirius and XM announce their intentions to combine into a single corporate entity—if the FCC approves a move that would result in the unholy pairing of Oprah Winfrey and Howard Stern on a single provider. [THR]
· In a move that should surprise only those reading the trades for the first time today after waking up from a three-year coma, Lionsgate and Twisted Pictures are going ahead with a fourth Saw movie, timed for a Halloween weekend release later this year. [Variety]
· Last night's episode of Heroes remained "scorching hot" in the 18-49 demographic; somewhat less engulfed in Nielsen's flame is Studio 60, which had its second consecutive week of record-low ratings. (We TiVo'd S60, so we're unable to make a reference to how Matt's battle with his pill-popping, hallucinated alter ego turned out. We regret being part of Sorkin's time-shifting problem.) [THR]
· Ghost Rider's total take over the three-day weekend is $51.5 million; that's the all-time Presidents Day weekend record, if you're into relatively meaningless box office statistics. [Variety]

• The FCC, which has done such a great job regulating obscenity, now wants to take a crack at violence as well. [Reuters]
  

30 Rock star Tracy Morgan (or, as one headline writer who has yet to climb aboard NBC's Comedy Night Done Right train put it, "Ex-'SNL' star Tracy Morgan") has pled guilty to his DUI charge from November. And if he stays out of trouble for the next little while, it appears he'll be off the hook:

This morning brings ominous news for Studio 60's legion of upscale, affluent, and Nielsen-confounding, TiVo-time-shifting fans: Variety reports that NBC is moving up by a week its previously announced indefinite yanking of the series following the show's worst ratings to date, handing over its juicy, post-Heroes Monday night timeslot to [pause for reflexive tightening of the sphincter] Paul Haggis' The Black Donnellys on February 26th. Says Var:

In what might be the first shot fired in East Coast/West Coast Half-Hour/Hourlong Funny/Unfunny War between NBC's dueling behind-the-scenes-at-a-sketch-comedy-show primetime series, 30 Rock's Tina Fey offered this one-liner at the expense of presumed NBC Messiah Aaron Sorkin:

If you are one of millions of Americans who suffer from mid-afternoon anxiety attacks over an issue that remains frustratingly out of your control—"How's David Arquette's career going?"—we have wonderful news: According to an AP wire report (dateline: whatever press release they copied the information from), Arquette only appears to be expanding his show business resume, thanks to the helping hands of the more successful women in his life:

• Fox to do for business what it's done for the Republican party: Convince gullible yahoos that it isn't a soulless machine out to exploit the most vulnerable members of our society for the benefit of those who were born with all of life's advantages in the first place. [NYT]
  

· Delays in a 24 feature script free up Kiefer Sutherland to do some non-terrorism-related work during his TV hiatus, allowing him to star in the supernatural thriller Mirrors from director Alexandre "The Hills Have Eyes" Aja. [Variety]
· OK, now we might have to start caring about Iron Man: Jeff Bridges is on board, joining Robert Downey Jr., et. al. in the cast. [THR]
· A "massive shakeup" at Discovery Networks sees the exit of a handful of top executives, but we find it impossible to care as long as the new regime promises not to fuck with Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl, the single greatest spectacle on basic cable. Whoever came up with the WaterBowlCam deserves his or her own channel to run. [Variety]
· CBS's Super Monday promotion successfully tricks viewers into thinking the Super Bowl is a two-night event, giving the network a Monday night win over strong Deal or No Deal and Heroes performances on NBC. In other ratings news, an estimated 7.2 million people watched Timothy Busfield chase around a coyote, snake, and ferret for an hour on Studio 60. [THR]
· South by Southwest reveals its film festival lineup, which will include Michael "Because I Said So" Lehmann's comedy Flakes and Judd Apatow's Knocked Up. [Variety]

A tipster forwarded us the farewell email that departing NBC CEO Bob Wright just sent out to his faithful troops. After the jump, you, too, can read about how Jeff Zucker is "a skilled executive who knows this company inside and out, and has the right mix of business knowledge, programming savvy, and marketing creativity to lead NBC Universal into a bright new era." Thrills galore!

It's official: This morning, General Electric potentate Jeffrey Immelt presided over the coronation ceremony naming onetime morning show visionary Jeff Zucker NBC Universal's Peacock King, a ritual that included the G.E. CEO's delicately placing of a crude crown fashioned from the freshly harvested skull of superannuated outgoing executive Bob Wright on his new entertainment monarch's famously bald pate. (A moment foreshadowed by Jay Leno's draping of a Trump fright wig upon Zucker's head at a roast two years ago [pictured], a puckish act for which he now would be executed.) In anticipation of this sacred occasion, the NY Times looks at the challenges facing Zucker in his new position, pointing out that while tongue-clicking detractors note that NBC's post-Friends tumble into the Nielsen sub-basement occurred on his watch, millionaires whose checks he signs are firmly in his corner:

• Jeff Zucker's new CEO of NBC job is going to be sort of a tough gig. [NYT]
  

· NBC will hand over Aaron Sorkin's 10 p.m. Monday night Studio 60 timeslot to Paul Haggis' drama The Black Donnellys starting on March 5, hoping that the heavy-handed, fender-bender-loving double Oscar winner's new series will hang on to some of hit lead-in Heroes' viewers, but promises that S60 will return to their airwaves at an unspecified date. Also: 30 Rock's slot is being temporarily donated to the Conan O'Brien/Andy Richter midseason comedy Andy Barker, PI, but will be back on April 19th. [Variety]
· In case you haven't heard: Jeff Zucker's getting a nice little promotion over at NBCU 2.0. [Variety, THR]
· And in other NBC front-office news, NBC Entertainment president/scene-stealing The Office dayplayer Kevin Reilly is looking like a good bet to have his expiring contract renewed. (Actually, a very good bet, as the WSJ just reported [sub. req'd.] he's been given a new contract.) [Variety]
· Super Bowl XLI's ratings are "great but not spectacular." We suspect that the event's failure to reach "spectacular" levels was due to intense competition from the far more compelling Puppy Bowl III on Animal Planet. [THR]
· Apple (computers) and Apple Corps. (The Beatles) settle the legal dispute over their shared name, allowing for the possibility that Beatles songs might one day be hawked on iTunes. [Variety]

By now you're probably aware that resurgent NBC golden boy and longtime Les Moonves cockfight underdog Jeff Zucker will soon complete his meteoric journey from Today producer (he's widely credited with the morning show innovation of seating perky women next to handsome men and having them chat about topics of interest) to Peacock King, as Zucker will soon be named CEO of NBC Universal. But lost in the impending celebratory press conference chatter about Zucker's coronation is the plight of the man he's replacing, 63-year-old CEO/chariman Bob Wright, who's being shoved aside as parent company General Electric ruthlessly tries to purge its ranks of executives too old and camera-unfriendly to occasionally repurpose as extras in NBC's primetime programming. Today's LAT reports on how painful Wright's departure from the company will likely be:

• Jeff Zucker to be named CEO of NBC Universal, because he's done so well so far and everyone loves him. [NYP]
  

· Studios aren't as horny as usual to pimp their event movies during the Super Bowl, preferring to spend their ad dollars on hit primetime shows instead of the year's biggest advertising orgy. But for those who change their minds, there's plenty of available space towards the end of the broadcast, when drunken football fans are less likely to pay attention to commercials. [Variety]
· More on the announcement of Gail Berman and Lloyd Braun's BermanBraun, which will either produce multimedia content or high-end kitchen appliances: leaking news about their venture forced them to come clean about their plans a few weeks early. [THR]
· Kiss finds yet another thing upon which to slap its name, planning a Kiss 4k comic book in which the band transforms from aging, whiteface-loving entrepreneurs into "world-protecting warrior spirits." [Variety]
· For reasons we might never understand, Paul Rudd consents to co-star with Seann William Scott in a comedy for Universal. [THR]
· Var invites charges of institutional anti-Sorkinism by pointing out that Studio 60 "retained less than half of its demo lead-in" in last night's Nielsen race. [Variety]

A former NBC Universal treasurer is free on a $250,000 bond after pleading not guilty to charges he fleeced the company of over $800,000 in champagne wishes and caviar dreams: