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Showing a renewed commitment to journalistic fairness in the aftermath of Aaron Sorkin's shocking exposure of their anti-Sorkin agenda last week, in which the Studio 60 showrunner decried the paper's unacceptable reliance on negative quotes from "disgruntled" individuals whose level of entertainment industry success falls far short of his criteria for having a valid opinion, the LAT today offers equal time to those who have self-published positive words about Studio 60 on the internets:

• Broad and Burkle talk to Tribune directors, who may not sell the company after all. Great, that's six months of our lives wasted. [LAT]
  

Blink and you may have missed him, but that was indeed NBC president Kevin Reilly making a quick cameo on last night's episode of The Office, flexing his programming-executive-level acting jobs by effectively communicating his confusion at Dwight's multiple resumes without a single line of dialogue. While brief, the promising appearance could lead to a bigger role on future shows now that Reilly's proven his chops to the producers; don't be surprised to see the aspiring thespian return later in the season, offering another wordless performance to rival the scene-stealing turns achieved by the Staples MailMate shredder or his corporate parents' own Trivection Oven.

Network presidents tasked with counterprogramming American Idol's 37 million viewers (a job further complicated by the Mandatory 'Idol" Viewership Act For Citizens 18-34 just passed by the newly Democrat-controlled Congress under heavy lobbying by News Corp.) find themselves with precious few practical options for combating the Nielsen juggernaut; those brave enough to resist the easy out of simply scheduling two hours of test-patterns in their Idol-opposing timeslot and then splattering their brains on the windows of their corner offices really have only one reliable strategy for surviving their Sisyphean labor: burying their heads in the warm sands of total denial. TV Week's Critical Eye TCA blog notes how NBC's Kevin Reilly is dealing with the Idol problem:

• The axe falls today at Time Inc. Send your memos and stories here and we'll share them with the world. [NYP]
  

As part of yesterday's TCA press tour event, TV critics were bussed over to the set of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, where they were granted some face time with series creator Aaron Sorkin in his behind-the-scenes-at-a-distressingly- serious-minded-sketch-comedy-show environment. When asked to comment on a recent LAT piece claiming that comedy writers don't seem to be fans of the show, the beleaguered showrunner took the opportunity to decry the paper's transparent anti-Sorkin agenda, revealing that his research uncovered the shocking fact that some of his critics might be—audible gasp!—unemployed. Recounts The Oregonian's TV critic on his TCA blog:

· Kicked in the ass by the documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated, the MPAA is trying to "demystify" the movie ratings system, making ratings rules public on its web site and disclosing previously guarded information about the composition of its shadowy Classification & Rating Administration. Also: they'll introduce a new way to warn parents that certain R-rated movies contain too many pairs of exposed breasts to ever be viewed by impressionable children. [Variety]
· After wasting valuable pre-production time looking for a "Gwyneth Paltrow type" to play a supporting role in the upcoming Iron Man movie, Marvel Entertainment decides to throw enough money at the real deal to get Paltrow to consent to play a superhero's personal assistant. [THR]
· Embracing its corporate mandate to get cheaper in the first hour of primetime, NBC orders six episodes of celebrity improvisation series Thank God You're Here; to balance its responsible order, president Kevin Reilly plans to announce he's given an Aaron Sorkin-penned drama set behind the scenes at a celebrity-improv comedy show a four-season pick-up. [Variety]
· In further NBC pick-up news, the networks gives The Office, My Name Is Earl, and Law & Order: The Sex Victims One full-season orders for next year. [THR]
· Fox picks up 11 episodes of the reality show When Women Rule the World, in which 12 attractive women are given a society to run, and get to trade insufficiently productive man-slaves for supplies crucial to the expansion of their Amazonian utopia. Fox president Peter Liguori calls the series "an important opportunity to explore the societal implications of allowing a dozen hot, drunk chicks to order around a bunch of shirtless out-of-work actors." [Variety]

· Warner Bros. announces a deal with Fox-owned stations for a daily show based on website TMZ.com. Think an "edgier" Insider or E.T., but with regular segments devoted to video of Brandon "The Firecrotch Guy" Davis entering and exiting Hyde and an onscreen bug devoted to monitoring exactly how much gas is in Paris Hilton's car at any given moment. [Variety]
· Finally, the words we've been patiently awaiting while lamenting a singular talent being wasted on party-hosting and horse-auction gigs: "Tara Reid is attached to star in and executive produce the indie romantic comedy Honestly," the story of "a hard-boiled private eye who works as a temptress to test the fidelity of philandering husbands" (and then, of course, eventually falls for her mistress-diddling quarry) . Even more touching: It's being directed by her brother. [THR]
· The highest-rated Globes in three years earns NBC a Monday night ratings win, a victory that Donald Trump will soon attribute to his frequent appearance on camera due to his Apprentice-promoting placement at The Greatest Golden Globes Table in the World. [Variety]
· Netflix debuts its new online Watch Now video-on-demand program, which lets customers stream movies and TV shows over the internets free of charge. [THR]
· Now you can say it with authority: Germans think Ben Stiller is funnier than Hitler, as Night at the Museum holds off Third Reich yukfest My Fuhrer - The Absolutely Truest Truth About Adolf Hitler at the Teutonic box office. [Variety]

When NBC's censors approved the following lyrics to air on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, sung by a new character called the "homophobic country-western singer," they couldn't possibly have anticipated any kind of outrage from Christian groups who think that television is nothing but a Godless, flickering hellbox that beams the will of Mephistopheles directly into America's living rooms: "Oh I love you Jesus/But only as a friend./ You touched my heart but I hope/ That's where the touchin' ends. You're always lookin' over me/ When I need a higher power./ But you better look at somethin' else/ When I'm in the shower." But before the singing cowboy's final note had stopped ringing, an organization called Life Decision International was already cc'ing NBC executives on a press release decrying the show's musical reference to an unacceptably pervy Jesus:

Once again proving there is virtually no ripped-from-the-headlines crime they're unwilling to exploit in the name of easily-syndicated primetime procedural drama, the gang over at Law & Order are already planning an episode based on the tragic murder of Adrienne Shelly, the actress who was killed in November by a construction worker who then tried to make the crime look like a suicide by hanging her. A reader sent in this casting notice for the role of "Julio Contreras":

• The Apprentice 6 Tour Bus Challenge [YouTube via FBLA]

Having defeated a raft of lawsuits aimed at removing scenes that various "victims" of Kazakhstan's leading documentarian found to portray their racism/misogyny/dinner parties in an unflattering light, the Borat DVD is scheduled to be released on DVD March 6th without any changes to the original theatrical version. [Variety]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas, 'Sex and the City'-related Pilot Pick-up Edition: ABC picks up Cashmere Mafia ("the next generation of Sex and the City. ") and Brett Ratner's Women's Murder Club ("CSI meets Sex and the City"), while NBC goes straight to the source, greenlighting SATC author Candace Bushnell's Lipstick Jungle. [THR]
It's been approximately five minutes since we've mentioned Donald Trump, so: The Donald and producer Mark Burnett are being sued for age discrimination by a rejected Apprentice applicant, who claims the show favors the young and hot over the old and litigious. [Variety]
Fox wiped out all Monday night competition with its BCS championship game between Florida and Ohio State, but NBC's Deal or No Deal and CBS comedy block still perform respectably. Once again, Studio 60 continued its hiatus and thus had no momentum-killing effect on NBC's Nielsen fortunes. [THR]
· Scooby Doo creator Iwao Takamoto dies at 81. The cause of death is officially "heart failure," but we suspect foul play by a disgruntled local farmer wearing a rubber mask. [Variety]

We'd hoped that by last night's premiere of The Apprentice: LA we'd have already seen an end to the ugly feud between notoriously media-shy and soft-spoken nemeses Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell, allowing us to fully devote our rapt attentions upon the West Coast adventures of the Manhattan land baron and his Slovenian trophy succubus. Sadly, however, the fat jokes and combover cracks continue to be lobbed from either side (best single development: In Touch Weekly's probably fictitious report of Trump frenemy Martha Stewart sending O'Donnell a bouquet of roses with a note attached reading, "Be careful of pricks"), with nary an olive branch offering in sight. On The View today, O'Donnell had this to say about Trump's merciless jabs at her weight (video available courtesy of BestWeekEver.tv):

With Steven Spielberg pushing back his plans for Lincoln in order to get Indiana Jones 4 done before arthritis finally robs Harrison Ford of his whip-cracking abilities, Liam "Honest Abe" Neeson ceases his beard-fittings, freed up to take a job starring in Luc Besson's kidnapping drama Taken. [Variety]
Foreigners love Ben Stiller! Night at the Museum leads the international box office for a second straight weekend with $29.8 million. [THR]
Buoyed by a brief cameo appearance by a convincingly lifelike animatronic version of the show's superannuated namesake, the Ryan Seacrest-hosted Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve trounces Carson Daly, MTV, and Fox's ball-dropping offerings. [Variety]
Eight-year-old Bindi Irwin, precocious offspring of recently deceased Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin, will kick off her American TV career this week, appearing on The Ellen Degeneres Show and The Late Show, where she will grapple with a variety of tiny (but deadly) reptiles to promote her new show, Bindi, the Jungle Girl. [THR]
NBC Universal TV lures Without a Trace creator Hank Steinberg away from Warner Bros. TV with a "pricey" (read: "fuckload of money") overall deal. [THR]

Mexican director Juan Catlett is suing Mel Gibson, claiming that the director lifted scenes from Return to Aztlan, his own, earlier movie about the end of the Mayan empire, for Apocalypto, allegations obviously orchestrated by Gibson's Jewish tormentors to further impede his already dim Oscar hopes. [Variety]
Pilot pick-up mania! NBC greenlights three drama pilots: a dysfunctional cop show from Dennis Leary and pals, a spy dramedy from The O.C.'s Josh Schwartz, and a new, probably ill-advised stab at The Bionic Woman. [THR]
Dancing with the Stars runner-up Mario Lopez is already reaping the impressive career benefits of not winning the high-rated celebrity waltz-off, replacing the guy from Desperate Housewives for the coveted gig of hosting the Miss America pageant on Country Music Television. [Variety]
THR triumphantly declares 2006 the Year of the Comeback at the international theaters, erasing the bitter memories of 2005, the Year That Too Many Sunny Weekends In Germany Sent Hollywood Into An Overseas Box Office Freefall. [THR]
Adult Swim nerds rejoice: The Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie is getting a March release date on 800
screens. [Variety]

Expanding on our earlier discussion of cheapness in the workplace - but sparing the Jews for at least a paragraph - we hear NBC's been having a fabulous time, albeit on a shoestring, spreading Christmas joy and love to its loyal employees. In the case of Dateline's crew, this joy and love, provided staffers actually chose to attend, went for $20 a head.

Just five days after SNL's "Dick in a Box" (variously and coyly referred to as "A Special Box," "Special Treat in a Box," and "A Special Christmas Box") debuted on the show and on the YouTubes, the NY Times delivers the inside scoop on how a brave consortium of late-night programming executives, lawyers, and NBC's highest-ranking officers decided to release an uncensored version of the liberally bleeped clip on the internet, allowing fans to remove any lingering doubts that the male sex organs being sneakily proffered to the delighted women in the video may have, in fact, been referred to as "cock(s) in a box," best network decency practices be (cautiously) damned. Reports the Times:

This weekend's SNL debuted another digital short, "A Special Box" (think "Lazy Sunday," but with Color Me Badd and dicks in boxes instead of nerds and Narnia matinees) that NBC obviously hopes may inspire the same kind of viral video frenzy that the network enjoyed with last December's hip-hop ode to the simple pleasures of cupcakes and leisurely weekend afternoons, as they're already offering an uncensored version on their website, hoping to render obsolete the liberally bleeped clip originally broadcast on Saturday night that legions of fans have already let loose on the YouTubes. Above, we share the efforts of one resourceful YouTuber to set free NBC's unbleeped, schlong-positive version by streaming it onto a TV set and recording the result with a video camera; enjoy, knowing that we are probably only minutes away from a lame West Coast response to the video, "Cock in a KFC Bucket," courtesy of some publicity-hungry actors from recently canceled sitcoms.

• Vivendi decides to hold on to its NBC Universal stock in spite of the fact that Jeff Zucker is allegedly a dick. [NYP]