In your misty Thursday media column: NBC's newsmagazine will be like every other newsmagazine show, a lawsuit against HuffPo goes forward, the WaPo's chairman leaves, the NYDN screws up, and a press release newswire war.

Free Agents, the NBC comedy about randy public relations executives, has been canceled after three episodes. This just proves what we said all along: No one cares about PR people. It joins The Playboy Club in this season's TV graveyard.

TV's favorite serial killer is in a contract dispute with his network. Also today: good news about Matt Saracen, weird news about Werner Herzog, nostalgic news from Disney, and half-bad news from NBC.

NBC has pulled the plug on The Playboy Club after last night's episode only attracted about 3.2 million viewers. It was the first show from the fall season to get the ax. Like we didn't see that coming.

Teresa Giudice, Real Housewives of New Jersey star and proven finance wizard, has been tapped as a cast member for the next season of Donald Trump's chief source of income, Celebrity Apprentice.

America's number one shirtless comedian is headed to the small screen. Also today: Good news for a Lost actress, good news for a lost actor, bad news for CAA, and challenging news for Mel Gibson.

In your vivacious Wednesday media column: important media person loves puppies, a publisher's going to jail, NBC News decides to stand for something, Bloomberg View's editor is out, an NYT writer goes to HuffPo, and how to be a dick.

A show about Chicago's famous Playboy Club debuted last night and it was... not good. Also today: A movie heads to Broadway, Disney gets a whole new land, and Charlie Sheen is a hit.

The concept for NBC's Up All Night, which premiered last night, is a great one: get a hip pair of thirtysomethings like Christina Applegate and Will Arnett and show what happens when they decide to become parents. The problem is it's a great concept for a movie—not a TV show.

In your mute Monday media column: the internet is for porn, Brian Williams gets a new prime time show, Dr. Phil's exclusive is completely ethical, dead body dog collar weatherman resigns, and The Hairpin hires.

Finally, television is directly addressing the lesbo community. Also today: Candace Bushnell will never go away, Keira Knightley sets out to do another prestige project, and Michael Keaton has been found.

The days will soon get shorter, the weather will get colder, and you'll soon have actual things to do at your job now. The end of summer sucks, doesn't it? But at least there's going to be all sorts of new stuff on television! Let's look at everything that will give us a glimmer of hope this fall.

Did you know Saturday Night Live pays freelancers $100 per joke for Weekend Update? You can't just tie them to a rock and hurl them through an 8th floor window of Rockefeller Center, however. You must first get your name on something called "the fax list," which is a list of standups and comedy writers who have been vetted by a comedy writing establishment hopelessly mired in outdated modes of communication.

Since it's apparently still 1963, Gloria Steinem is still waging war on the Playboy Club, but this time she's fighting The Playboy Club, calling for a boycott of the NBC show that premieres this fall. Don't worry, Gloria, this piece of crap is going to fail on its own!

GLAAD, the spayed and neutered gay media watchdog, released its annual Network Responsibility Index, which charts the gay content of television networks. Guess what they found? The highest percentage of programming with gay and lesbian characters is targeted at young audiences.

The few who had seen the failed pilot for NBC's Wonder Woman — a proposed series about the DC Comics superheroine from Ally McBeal-creator David E. Kelley — said the network had laid a pterodactyl-sized egg. Campily, laughably terrible. Which didn't come as much of a surprise to anyone. All five networks had already passed once on the script, after all, and it took a regime change at NBC to finally get someone to crunch the numbers (numbers = breasts) and greenlight the thing. But then, all kinds of magic can come with casting, with direction, with post-production wizardry. "You never really know until it's off the page and on the screen!" - Some wise Hollywood person.

Those Funny Little People is a variety act composed entirely of dancing garden gnomes who are rumored to be so sexually deviant, they've been banned for life from the furry convention circuit. The troupe keeps advancing on America's Got Talent, NBC's televised glue-huffing competition, mainly because Judge Piers Morgan absolutely hates them, so Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel keep voting them through. And, well, it never stops being hilarious!

NBC's singing competition show The Voice, a terrible blend of American Idol and In It To Win It, has somehow scoured the globe and found two gay singers, who are currently in the top four. So half the remaining singers are gay people. What the hell?

Hulu has put itself up for sale, moving to end the grand alliance between the broadcasters who own the TV website and provide it with shows. This is really going to suck.

It is clear that NBC hates God, after the network removed the words "Under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance during its broadcast of the U.S. Open. Can't NBC just be free to hate God like every other freedom-loving corporate person? Indiana Sen. Dan Coats says no! This omission must be explained in excruciating detail to top federal authorities.