This morning, the anchors of the Early Show were caught off guard when the show accidentally cut to two men doing something.

Patriotic Americans everywhere rushed home from church yesterday afternoon in order to tune into the "U.S. Open" golf tournament, knowing that god, in his infinite beneficence, would understand that enthusiasm for the "U.S. Open" is part and parcel of doing His work. Imagine their shock, then, when the NBC broadcasting network failed to include the words "under god" in their introductory segment for the "U.S. Open"—which, naturally, was a sickeningly sweet montage of pseudo-patriotic images up to and including American soldiers toting around carefully folded U.S. flags, as schoolchildren reverently recited the Pledge of Allegiance. Sickeningly patriotic, yes; but not sickeningly religious. To recap: Innocent, golf-loving American children were subjected, against their will, to a television montage of relentlessly patriotic symbology that did not include the words "under god" in its rote reenactment of our national indoctrination rites.

There will be a sexual switch-up on True Blood this season, and now we're eager to find out who. Also today: Russell Crowe is moving to a different planet for a while, a deserving actress gets a big role, and the Oscars will never be the same again.

In an interview with his old Def Comedy friend Russell Simmons, embattled comedian Tracy Morgan expressed remorse about the ugly anti-gay statements he made during a recent show.

While the rest of NBC stations broadcast the new show The Playboy Club this fall, Salt Lake City-based KSL will be showing test patterns or scripture or something. They refuse to air the show, saying its subject matter is objectionable.

This Hollywood lady's shaman told her to drink animal blood every day. This TV actor likes to frequent Thai brothels. And this royal couldn't stop staring at Jennifer Aniston's boobs. Looks like the shaman's spell is finally working!

In your sweltering Wednesday media column: the racial media gap unveiled, Chris Jones has a new column, NOTW apologizes to Sienna Miller, NBC gets the Olympics forever, and Bob Herbert gets a job.

Will a deliberately shadowy marketing campaign for the monster movie ruin its box office? Also today: Though much hay is often made about the ever-slipping ratings of the Olympics, NBC still wants 'em and they want 'em bad. Plus Cheryl Cole newz!

NBC's new convoluted singing battle The Voice has been picked for the coveted post-Super Bowl time slot when the Peacock network airs the big game next year. The episode will feature "blind auditions" to kick off the show's second season, a process the network thinks will have mass appeal. We're not sure if this is the right fit. After all, remember what happened last time someone tried to combine Christina Aguilera and the Super Bowl?

The ravenous MTV network, always hungry for sweet teen blood, has found its next victims. Also today: Fox rules and other networks drool, Matthew Modine is rescued from oblivion, and Kevin Costner is headed into it.

In your odd Thursday media column: an old reporter goes on a Facebook-shaming rampage, the Boston Globe is suddenly "not for sale," Dick Ebersol retires, Bill Keller is still talking, and Al Gore says News Corp's censoring his network.

Today NBC put on its presentation at the annual television upfronts, which is when broadcast networks show off all their new shows to potential advertisers. Here are clips of the six new programs that will be joining NBC's ever-flagging roster this September.

I know you never thought it possible, but little Troy Bolton is about to get sexual and thrilling, all at once. Also today: tons of TV news about renewals and cancellations, plus a sexy little companion piece to the Efron news.

Your crush from the early '90s is in trouble and he needs your help. Particularly if you are an executive at Fox television. Also today: NBC announces some new shows, Craig Kilborn is back in the game, and Stephenie Meyer wins again.

Daryl Hawks, the 38-year-old sports anchor for NBC's Chicago affiliate, was found dead in an Atlanta hotel room today. Hotel employees reportedly found his body after he missed his wake-up call. Police say there's "no reason to believe foul play was involved." Hawks was in Atlanta to cover the Chicago Bulls' NBA playoff game tonight. [Sun-Times]

You were, likely, worried about the ability of Comcast-NBC to push effectively for its interests on Capitol Hill. Sorry — we mean, push for the interests of American consumers. But worry no more! The cable giant has hired Meredith Attwell Baker for "a top DC lobbying job," and we have a feeling she's going to do a great job. You've heard of Baker — she used to be one of the Republican commissioners of the FCC. Four months ago, she voted to approve the NBC-Comcast merger? But that was four whole months ago, so Comcast probably forgot about it before they hired her.

Deposed NBC potentate Jeff Zucker threw a bar mitzvah at the Four Seasons. The Zuckers were priced out of a Kanye appearance ($1 million), so they settled for Drake, some nice roast chicken, and Converse sneakers for everyone. Mazel tov!

It's been said of many a reality television show before, but might Celebrity Wife Swap finally destroy us? Also today: Snow White finds her prince, Project Runway brings back some old friends, and, what's this, NBC might actually have a popular show??

On tonight's Chuck, a character heads to a shooting range holding his "favorite target" — a picture of Bin Laden with gun sights on his head and chest. Mere coincidence? Or was this assassination brought to you by Subway? [Deadline]

On tonight's Late Show, Brian Williams took some time out to visit David Letterman and chat with him about the death of Osama bin Laden. After reviewing the day's papers with Letterman, Williams recounted the events that led to him finding out—and reacting to—the news that the US had killed the al Qaeda leader.