Hate-mad tabloid sex perv Andrea Peyser is sad. What has become of the awesome sense of cowed obedience that American minorities displayed in the wake of 9/11? It's gone and disappeared, and they're all uppity again. Is this America, still?

Muslims: scary, or just weird? The deceptively reassuring answer meant to lull you into a false sense of security is "Just weird," according to a new survey that is clearly Soft on Mohammed.

Don't be deceived. Despite his attendance at not one, but two extremely not-Muslim Christian churches, as well as his constant cavorting with the New Apostolic Reformation, Rick Perry is basically Osama bin Laden in cowboy drag.

"David Wasserman, of the nonpartisan Cook Political Report, recently calculated that 89 percent of Whole Foods stores... were in counties carried by Obama in 2008," reports Sheryl Gay Stolberg. Not only that! Whole Foods and Obama are also both Muslim.

Faux hippy Wal-Mart and parking lot realness headquarters Whole Foods is happy to sell you 11 billion varieties of hummus, but don't get the wrong idea, wingnuts: Whole Foods is just as scared of Muslims as you! Really!

As we noted earlier, it really does seem that we're settling into an annual political routine here where Congress goes into its August recess and everyone starts freaking out about Muslims.

As if you needed additional proof that today's youth have no knack for having fun, two 18-year-old UK men have just been busted for essentially failing to appreciate the scantily-clad women who appear in their nation's deodorant and movie ads.

Bored rich moron Pamela Geller is a big deal in the internet anti-Islam scene, thanks to her unreadable blog Atlas Shrugs. Norwegian terrorist Anders Behring Breivik is reputedly such a big fan that he gave her a few shout-outs in his manifesto! Which is why we're interested in an email she got in 2007 from an anonymous Norwegian who was "stockpiling weapons."

As recently as January 2009, the FBI thought its agents ought to know the following crucial information about Muslims:

Imagine a bargain hunter's shock and dismay when responding to an ad on Craigslist listing a bunch of possessions for sale and then receiving an email announcing that gay people, Muslims, and illegal immigrants aren't allowed to purchase the wares. Read it for yourself.

Do you know Allen West? If not, you should. A lot of folks think he'll be president someday.

According to a writer for the "Communities" section of the Washington Times, which apparently lets any old patriotic American sign up and start writin' against Sharia, Anthony Weiner is a Muslim. Of course he is!

President Obama "is preparing a fresh outreach to the Muslim world in coming days," The Wall Street Journal tells us. How exciting! Despite the fact that Obama is the most Muslim president of all time, besides Dwight Eisenhower, his approval ratings have dropped precipitously in the Arab world, and Pakistan is certainly not too pleased with him, either. So, Obama will "deliver a wide-ranging speech":

Memphis Imams Masudur Rahman and Mohamed Zaghloul had boarded a flight Friday morning when they were told the pilot wouldn't fly with them aboard. They were going to Charlotte—to attend a conference intended to "address prejudice against Muslims."

A Houston teacher of the ancient Islamic discipline "Algebra" has been suspended for making fun of a ninth grade Muslim student, in front of the whole class, following Osama bin Laden's death. The PC Police strike again! As they should, because this guy sounds like a priceless moron.

Several U.N. workers were killed Friday in the northern Afghan city of Mazar-i-Sharif. Reports indicate that a demonstration against the burning of a Quran by American pastors turned violent. There are conflicting reports about the number of people killed, and a U.N. spokesperson has issued a statement confirming the attack, while calling the incident "still confusing."

Newt Gingrich, one of the serious Republican candidates for president, is back on the subject of Muslims this week. He's not just concerned that Muslims proper will co-opt his grandchildren when they come of age. He's worried about a new ultra-breed of Muslims, Atheist Muslims, performing the dirty work. Have you heard of these people? They probably live in cities.

How do you pick which Republican presidential candidate to support? They all say they hate Sharia law—but they'd probably all immediately hire al Qaeda members upon being elected to office. All of them—except for Herman Cain.

The threat of sharia, or Islamic law, to America's cities, towns, and way of life in general is going to be a major debate topic among Republican presidential candidates this cycle. More than a dozen states have been working to pass anti-Sharia laws, and we should expect to see more state ballot measures in 2012. It's a big thing in Republican politics these days. So wait until GOP primary voters hear about Tim Pawlenty's old plan to boost sharia-compliant mortgages, so Muslims could own houses! Oh, yikes.

This is probably not the "YouTube moment" that IRA Rep. Peter King wanted for his big Islamic radicalization hearings today. It's Rep. Keith Ellison, a Muslim, breaking down while telling the story about a Muslim first responder who gave his life on 9/11. King, meanwhile, started his day by revealing that he's been under police protection for months because of an "overseas threat against him."