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While his smirking mugshot, featuring low-grade Noltian hair and a short Van Dyke, isn't likely to send our commenters into a lather the way Shia LaBeouf's did, there's still something unmistakably titillating about Mickey Rourke's DUI booking photo. Perhaps it was the circumstances around the arrest, which could only have been more adorable had the actor been stopped winding through Miami streets early this morning on a miniature clown bicycle:

Actor Mickey Rourke is in a Miami jail after being arrested for driving under the influence while riding a Vespa scooter erratically in Miami Beach.

The police officer stated that Rourke got off the 2007 green Vespa scooter after being stopped and stated, "What the (expletive) did I do?"

The officer said Rourke had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath. After failing a field sobriety test, Rourke was arrested on charges of driving under the influence.

He remains in the Dade County Jail and his bond has been set at $1,000.

The scenario seems somewhat harsh for such an accomplished actor's Vespa-swerving crimes—and it's rendered all the more tragic when one imagines the other dozen or so detainees cowering silently on the far end of the holding cell, lest they rouse the loudly snoring Sin City star from his sleep and be forcibly subjected to another sparring match, or worse, the actor's rambling anecdotes about how Kim Basinger's skin tasted like "a combination of mangos and moustache wax."