On Saturday, August 27 Forbes writer Brian Capozzi stared furtively into his computer's screen. "This is a test... Do not publish," he typed. He typed it again and again. He typed it until the page was full, and then he set it to "preview," and then— Oh no. Oh fuck. Oh no no no no no no FUCK.

Food conglomerate ConAgra, maker of all remaining food, hired the PR firm Ketchum for a fun promotional stunt: it would invite a bunch of food bloggers to a fancy dinner at an Italian restaurant, then reveal that they'd actually been served frozen ConAgra food-like products instead of real food. Mirth and delight would ensue! Alas, ConAgra and Ketchum should have watched the old Chris Farley skit more closely.

According to this CNN screenshot (apparently from Monday), Libyan rebels are advancing on Tripoli, Lebanon. Wrong continent, guys! They all do sort of look the same, if you are a 4th grader trying to pass her geography pop quiz.

GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann says the reason why she confuses Elvis Presley's birthday with his death day, and Russia for the Soviet Union, and herself with John Wayne Gacy when she means John Wayne—John Wayne, guys—is because "when you speak six times a day, slip-ups can occur."

One funny thing that happened recently was when Nivea ran that ad that straight up said that Afros are not civilized. Remember that? Haha, those ad guys were on so much crack cocaine, I guess? Well now they've apologized!

In 2007, Phillip Seaton, a middle-aged man in Kentucky, went to the doctor to be circumcised, to help "treat inflammation," TWSS. You'll never guess what happened next.

Shep Smith on Fox News this afternoon: "Bratton reportedly says he'd want to be London's cop top. [Pause] Top cock. [Sound of something slamming on desk] Top cop." Don't sweat it, Shep. Sometimes you just get blowjobs on the brain. [YouTube]

Back in May, Animal New York blogger Bucky Turco found a bunch of internal NYPD documents sitting in a trash can outside a midtown precinct. And this week, Bucky Turco found a bunch of internal NYPD documents sitting in the same trash can. We detect a pattern here!

Early Monday, Vilas County, Wisconsin sheriff's deputy Ty Peterson spotted a cougar—no, not a mythical, middle-aged, sex-seeking ladyhuman, but a large pouncey cat—prowling around in his backyard. Using this information, a relative of Peterson's decided to play a practical joke on him. It succeeded—in a way.

Even in the deepest, most gloomy depths of the worst scandal of a lifetime, Rupert Murdoch cannot contain his fundamental not-giving-a-fuck-about-public-opinion nature. It permeates every level of News Corp, the company he made in his image. But it is possible—believe it or not!—for public opinion to overwhelm even the staunchest self-justification.

News arrives today that fancy gym Equinox is instructing all of its personal trainers to spend the next few weeks getting in extra-good shape, because the company is about to start making them wear fancy new "form-fitting tops" that will be unflattering to anyone with a stray millimeter of body fat. This is fantastic news, because it will cause the vain rich people who go to Equinox to select their personal trainers on the dumbest possible criteria.

This morning, the anchors of the Early Show were caught off guard when the show accidentally cut to two men doing something.

A 21-year-old gentleman from Molalla, Ore., was caught peeing in one of Portland's major reservoirs (in Mt. Tabor Park, pictured), leading the city to drain the entire thing—all 7.8 million gallons—at a cost of more than $36,000. Of course an uncovered reservoir probably has a lot of gross things in it: Dead rodents, for example, and pee from other animals. And even if the guy had drunk an entire Big Gulp, we're talking at most about eight ounces of urine, in nearly 8 million gallons of water. Portland Water Bureau administrator David Schaff does not care: "Do you want to drink pee?" he asked The Oregonian. [Oregonian]

Preparing to wire swimming pool in suburban Minnesota, an electrician passed the time playing with his cellphone. He was videotaping a construction crane placing the pool into the homeowner's backyard when the crane tipped over, crushing the house and causing the most impassioned swearing spree I have ever heard on YouTube. (Fast forward to 1:50 for abridged version.)

Musician and Rihanna-beater Chris Brown got a new tattoo and his new girlfriend posted a picture of the tat on Twitter. It appears to be a smiley face with a skull under it, but it sort of looks like a fat kid on the way home from an orthodontist.

Krittika Biswas is a high school senior in Queens and the daughter of the vice consul of the Indian Consulate in New York. Earlier this year, she was perp-walked out of school, arrested, held for a day in central booking, and spent a month at a school "suspension center," all for allegedly sending email threats "with references to rape and prostitution" to two of her teachers. Except she didn't.

Erica Grow is the newest member of the WTNH Storm Team—"an experienced, respected and dynamic meteorologist." So why do they have her doing a reporter's job? Probably because of her honesty.

Remember that embarrassing PR email blast urging ladies to "Pamper yourself or your mom with the comfort she deserves this Mother's Day"? Turns out it was the error of the most tragic PR intern ever. PRNewser reports:

Click to viewFormer Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty is trying too hard again: The Republican, who hasn't officially announced his presidential candidacy, told CNN's Piers Morgan "I'm running for president" only to have his spokesman Alex Conant quickly downplayed the statement, saying "He will have a formal announcement about running for president later this spring." Tim! Chill out! You're going to ruin this for everyone! [CNN]

When is it good news to hear that radiation levels are 100,000 times higher than normal? When you at first thought they were 10 million times higher. Officials at Japan's stricken nuclear power plant say readings of staggeringly high radiation levels in water leaking from a reactor were mistaken. From the AP: