On a recent segment during Youngstown, Ohio's WFMJ morning show, Nancy from Sparkles Market appeared to discuss biscotti. How delicious! Unfortunately for Nancy, a slip of the tongue let viewers in on a dirty little secret regarding her tastes.

Guess what! The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump aired tonight. Among the roasters was Jersey Shore star The Situation, who just completely, totally, utterly bombed. How bad was he? The crowd almost didn't let him finish—seriously!

If you spend more than five minutes talking to an editor, you're sure to hear about how some story or other was a total piece of shit before said editor got his hands on it. Now you can judge for yourself! The Washington Post mistakenly posted this health story by Laura Ungar online with ALL OF THE EDITOR'S ALL-CAPS NOTES INCLUDED. [The final version of the story hasn't been published yet.] We've pasted it below in case it gets pulled. Editors make typos, too! Kill them!

If you can stomach it—I'm not exaggerating—here's the music video for teen "artist" Rebecca Black's "Friday," which has been exploding all over the Internet this weekend. My pug could write better lyrics. And my pug is dumb. [Gawker.TV]

If you can stomach it—I'm not exaggerating—here's the music video for teen "artist" Rebecca Black's "Friday," which has been exploding all over the Internet this weekend. My pug could write better lyrics. And my pug is dumb.

On tonight's Wheel of Fortune, the last puzzle—an "On the Map" one—was "Auckland, New Zealand." Not too difficult, right? Think again! Watch as all three contestants mess this one up, even with only one letter omitted. Sigh.

Last night, we told you about Watson, the IBM-created, Jeopardy!-playing computer, currently engaged in a three-day battle against former champs Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter. The category for tonight's final clue was "U.S. Cities." How did Watson do? Badly!

Koch Industries is—and we say this strictly in the spirit of presenting their prevalent public image in an unfiltered manner—an evil mysterious Death Star-like conglomerate controlled by two unimaginably wealthy unaccountable right-wing billionaire brothers, who are evil. The Koch brothers have made news recently for hosting a secret conservative conclave to plot who-knows-what, and for harassing journalists. They're also suing a group of pranksters who issued a fake Koch press release. Today, the NYT gave the company a chance to defend itself in the court of public opinion. Anddddd....

Ha, check out this zinger unleashed by short billionaire Michael "Mike" Bloomberg:

Super Bowl XLV is officially underway! Just moments ago, Christina Aguilera graced our television sets with her run-heavy rendition of the national anthem. One problem: she sang the wrong lyrics! In front of hundreds of millions of people. Uh, yikes?

Hey—has anyone seen a military satellite? Because the Russians just launched one, and it's not where it's supposed to be. (Check behind the couch?)

We don't usually involve ourselves with questions sent to advice columnists, since the advice columnist genre is all used up. But as a public service, we feel compelled to address the matter of Handling Mistaken Sexy Instant Messages.

The CEO of Coca-Cola is pretty sure that China's official language is Japanese.

Either the New Orleans Times-Picayune forgot to replace the dummy text in this headline for their sports section, or they are taking some really commendable editorial risks in their descriptions of playoff games. [via Reddit]

Today is Day Two of the burgeoning rap career of Tom Hanks' son Chet, a.k.a. CHET HAZE. You thought he was all about getting high at Northwestern University? Wrong! He's also about getting high in the fancier parts of L.A.

A woman in Winnetka, Illinois received a terrifying cell phone call from her husband yesterday: though garbled, it sounded to her like he was being taken hostage. The SWAT team was called out. Whoops: it was a butt dial.

You were probably wondering to yourself: "What did actress Zsa Zsa Gabor's shady husband Prince Frederic Von Anhalt do on Tuesday?" Well, he mistook nail glue for eye drops and glued his eye shut. Damn Winter Solstice!

On the Fox game show Million Dollar Money Drop, a couple was asked which product was sold first in stores: Post-It Notes, the Macintosh, or the Walkman. They answered Post-It Notes, which is correct. They were told they were wrong.

Before disliked Charlie St. Cloud author Ben Sherwood became the new head of ABC News, he was executive producer of Good Morning America. Resentment of Sherwood still lingers from those days: people are forwarding us his email fuckups from 2004.

Looking for something new to worry about on the plane? How about this: A 25-year-old co-pilot tried to adjust his seat and managed to send his plane, and its 113 passengers, on a 7,000-foot drop at a 26-degree angle.